An account of Jeeves' trip to Las Vegas latterly in the service of Mr tikay.

[phatbhoy]

awesome!

[tikay]

After Master Rooks has dispensed with Jeeves services - & he will, when he gets home, as he has 'Ling to submit to his every whim, I think Jeeves should go & be Tighty's Butler. Now that'd be interesting.

[Jeeves]

In the days before the flight Master Ben gambolled around Mid Bedfordshire like a spring lamb, excited to be leaving behind the Arndale Centre and the Milton Keynes Cows and looking forward to the bright lights of the Big City and his chance to mix it with adult poker players for almost the first time, not frequently finding many in the salubrious surroundings of the Stanbridge Scout hut in which he learnt the game he came to love, each Friday night.

The night before the early morning flight Master Ben disappeared for several hours and late in the evening burst into the house, whilst I was busy packing his Samsonite, with his two dogs at his side. He restrained the young male dog, who on sighting me appeared to expect me to retain the Bunny tail from my trial track endeavours and reared up most alarmingly, knocking over Master's father's Ruud Gullit figurine, hand painted, on the mantelpiece.

I enquired of Master why he was accompanied by two dogs the night before his departure.

His reply caused me consternation

"They are coming too Jeeves, sort it. Flushy said I should take them and he's never wrong"

In the far corner of the room Rosy carried on watching Tracy Beaker re-runs, whilst Noly was playing online cribbage. Shieldsy was engaged in his favourite activity, hand down his jeans re-arranging his "furniture" absentmindedly. None appeared at all perturbed by Master's suggestion.

With a deep breath I was once more cast into the role of the voice of reason, giving the sensible reasons (quarantine, long flight, excess baggage costs) why the dogs could not accompany Master on his first adult trip.

Master's bottom lip trembled, and his eyes widened and watered. I was looking not at an adult, but at a vulnerable child clearly used to getting his own way by such tactics with his father.

"Jeeves, I order you. Here are two boxes. Make them suitable for dog transportation immediately"

I did as ordered and the next morning we headed for the airport, five men, five suitcases and two packing boxes from which came the sound of uncontrolled yelping.

So to check in, where Shieldsy walked up and down the 46 check in desks asking for phone numbers, with absolutely no success whatsoever. Five suitcases checked in and then we gently placed the first packing case onto the weighing conveyor. The check in girl looked across and arched an eyebrow, at which point the dog leapt out of the box and began to run amok through the check-in queue, chased not only by Master, semi-chased by Shieldsy being unable to move at any pace whatsoever and assorted Policemen carrying Machine Guns.

As this was taking place I noticed that two policemen were at my side and they lifted me straight into a side room and sat me down.

What was I to do? I had known that Master had made a foolhardy decision the night before and now I was to carry the can. Ever the loyal servant I told them they were my dogs, and I could not bear a fortnight without them. I was strip searched which brough uncomfortable echoes of Eton and Mr Harris the Maths teacher's algebra detentions and told that I would be detained for the time being whilst they made arrangements for the dogs. I provided the address in Oxford and when left for a few minutes saw Master and his companions go through to departures, Master crying on his mobile phone, and Shieldsy once more fiddling down below while my Rome burnt all around me.

Several hours of solitary penitence later I was released, and my first task was to find the next flight to Las Vegas, where no doubt my luggage was already, together with my charges.

Before I boarded I recieved a text message.

"Rosy enjoyed Dora the Explorer on Nick Junior on the flight. Shieldsy soaking wet. Noly boring. Where are you? Hurry up. Ben"

Twelve hours later I knocked on the door of the room Master and Shieldsy were sharing. Lit dimly only by a light above a mirror the room was already a mess. Shieldsy was resting on his bed in nothing but creased boxer shorts, not a welcome sight after so many hours in transit, whilst Master was looking longingly at Sky Poker (produced by fish, has to find guests for the Club five days a week, for fish) logos and pictures of Greyhounds on the other bed.

I asked Master if my services were required until the morning and was met with the quiet voice of a man homesick already

"No Jeeves, see you at midday tomorrow. We are going to hit the sack and then the 2pm tournamnet at Caesars. Wear your toga....."

With a sigh as I knew the next morning would involve me transforming a terylene sheet into a Roman creation, I bade them goodnight and headed straight off to Peppermints for some R and R.

[kinboshi]

[ariston]

stick to peppermints jeeves and dont go off strip- trust me on that.

[Dingdell]

stick to peppermints jeeves and dont go off strip- trust me on that.

I really feel that we need an explanation of that one Ariston. 

[tikay]

stick to peppermints jeeves and dont go off strip- trust me on that.

I really feel that we need an explanation of that one Ariston. 

I'd rather he did not elaborate, to be honest.

[Dingdell]

stick to peppermints jeeves and dont go off strip- trust me on that.

I really feel that we need an explanation of that one Ariston. 

I'd rather he did not elaborate, to be honest.

You were there too Tikay? 

Wow - I thought I'd heard a different version but over to you Ariston - don't miss out any of the bits involving Tikay.....

[Jeeves]

This is Police Sergeant Antwan Demarcus Juliano of Las Vegas Police Department, Nevada

I found details of this website, and login/password, in a wallet belonging to an English gentleman, Bartholemew Jeeves, of Kensington, London, England

It is with much sadness that I have to report the the death of this gentleman, in mysterious circumstances. The body was discovered at the well of a fairground ride in the Stratosphere on Saturday night.

On investigating my officers discovered that the restraint mechanism on the carriage containing the now deceased gentleman was faulty, and investigations as to cause of death are ongoing.

If anyone has any information on this gentleman, particularly anyone with a possible motive/grudge against Mr Jeeves, please contact me on 00331525825400. You can speak confidentially.

Mr Jeeves' travelling companions have been informed of his tragic loss, and have been interviewed in the VIP lounge of "Pure". They will be re-interviewed as they did not make much sense first time round. It was late. They were emotional.

[tikay]

No - say it ain't so.

Mistaken identity?

[TightEnd]

RIP Jeeves.

[Laxie]

Has to be mistaken identity!  I reckon someone stole his wallet when he landed in Vegas.  We've got to find Jeeves!!!

[mondatoo]

I tried ringing the number but there's some crazy woman asking what i'm wearing and making strange noises down the phone what's that about,surely this is a hoax

[Rod Paradise]

I tried ringing the number but there's some crazy woman asking what i'm wearing and making strange noises down the phone what's that about,surely this is a hoax

0033 is the code for France - I reckon Jeeves is doing a Reggie Perrin & going to clandestinely make English fry-up breakfasts for SpaceFrog!!!

[Karabiner]

Any sign of a cookoo clock ?