Rate My Fry-up...

[david3103]

@MANTIS
I expected better.

Are those sausages Richmonds? They look as though they are 60% rusk.
Too many beans.
Fried bread? What was it fried in? Flora?

5.5/10

@Alex. Asda West Bridgeford do an eight items breakfast for <£5.
If you really want to cook and impress the young lady, then you need to start practicing. Delia's 'How to Cook' is a good start point. One frying pan is unlikely to be enough, especially since you will inevitably burn the sausages or the bacon or both and that means either washing the frying pan before frying the eggs or having the eggs sticking on the burnt bits and that can get very messy.

[paulhouk03]

U can microwave the beans and tinned tomatoes
Oven the sausages
Then u need to juggle the  eggs bacon black pudding and mushrooms with ur frying pans depending how many pans u have


Warm ur plates up so food won't go cold


Glgllglglglglgl

[77dave]

Mantis

Too many harsh minus points from the critics for me

Cutlery on wrong side of plate -0.25
s*n -1 People + 0.25
Plate size and side plates +1
need extra bacon and sausage -1
eggs needed a little more -.05

8.5/10
great effort might be best plate served so far

On Tikays rate my photo thread this is 2/10
 

[MANTIS01]

I find it incredible how I've been harshly chastised for my photo quality and then david3103 steps up and clearly identifies the exact brand of sausage from the submitted images. I mean when Tikay presents a photo of a duck but the duck has flown away and there is just a lake I understand why that meets with criticism. Here though all elements are clearly visible. Yes, Richmond is my preferred brand these days since all the butchers closed down and imo 60% rusk tastes good. I would like to thank 77dave for his more realistic take on things.

[EvilPie]

The trick Alex is to stick to the easy ingredients that you can't really get wrong.

Beans and tomatoes are simple so go with them.

Sausages are easy and you can cheat and oven them first to make sure they're cooked properly.

Bacon takes about 4 minutes.

Eggs take 2 minutes and you can whack them under the grill to sort the top out and avoid burning them by having to fry them too long.

Stick with olive oil. Breakfast purists won't like it but your bird probably won't like her breakfast dripping in lard. Avoid cooking in butter, it burns so is hard to deal with.

Fried bread is just a case of using a slice of bread to mop up what's in the pan when everything else is finished. Dead easy.

Make plenty of toast and have plenty of bread available. You can always leave what you don't want.

Pretty simple really.

I'd be careful about sticking the eggs under the grill - it won't take too long before the white turns rubbery like that.

If you really want to play it safe I'd just cook the sausages in the oven - this will take the longest time so I'd work out the rest of my timings from that. But it has got flexibility so if you get it a bit wrong you'll only be left with slightly darker sausages rather than burnt ones (also they're effectively 'frying' in all the fat that will come out of them whilst they're in there - so it isn't really cheating, not really ).

15 seconds under the grill just stops them looking like they're covered in snot. Much more and as Jon says you'll ruin them.

15 minutes at 180 in the oven will sort your sausages out. You can then fry them for a few minutes with the bacon to give them a bit of colour.

[EvilPie]

I find it incredible how I've been harshly chastised for my photo quality and then david3103 steps up and clearly identifies the exact brand of sausage from the submitted images. I mean when Tikay presents a photo of a duck but the duck has flown away and there is just a lake I understand why that meets with criticism. Here though all elements are clearly visible. Yes, Richmond is my preferred brand these days since all the butchers closed down and imo 60% rusk tastes good. I would like to thank 77dave for his more realistic take on things.

You know what. The more I look at it and the more you argue the toss the more I think I wouldn't even feed this pile of dross to my dog.

Clearly the long distance photos have stopped everyone but the ultra astute David from spotting the Richmond sausages.

Those things are only marginally better than the Linda McCartney [ ]sausages we were subjected to recently.

Take it like a man Mantis. I know you wanted rave reviews but unfortunately your breakfast appears to be shit.

[MANTIS01]

I find it incredible how I've been harshly chastised for my photo quality and then david3103 steps up and clearly identifies the exact brand of sausage from the submitted images. I mean when Tikay presents a photo of a duck but the duck has flown away and there is just a lake I understand why that meets with criticism. Here though all elements are clearly visible. Yes, Richmond is my preferred brand these days since all the butchers closed down and imo 60% rusk tastes good. I would like to thank 77dave for his more realistic take on things.

You know what. The more I look at it and the more you argue the toss the more I think I wouldn't even feed this pile of dross to my dog.

Clearly the long distance photos have stopped everyone but the ultra astute David from spotting the Richmond sausages.

Those things are only marginally better than the Linda McCartney [ ]sausages we were subjected to recently.

Take it like a man Mantis. I know you wanted rave reviews but unfortunately your breakfast appears to be shit.

Says the man who submitted weird curly stripey sausages that looked like somebody's massive half cooked colon.

[Woodsey]

I find it incredible how I've been harshly chastised for my photo quality and then david3103 steps up and clearly identifies the exact brand of sausage from the submitted images. I mean when Tikay presents a photo of a duck but the duck has flown away and there is just a lake I understand why that meets with criticism. Here though all elements are clearly visible. Yes, Richmond is my preferred brand these days since all the butchers closed down and imo 60% rusk tastes good. I would like to thank 77dave for his more realistic take on things.

-1 point for whining and not taking it like a man, my score is reduced to 7/10 

[EvilPie]

I find it incredible how I've been harshly chastised for my photo quality and then david3103 steps up and clearly identifies the exact brand of sausage from the submitted images. I mean when Tikay presents a photo of a duck but the duck has flown away and there is just a lake I understand why that meets with criticism. Here though all elements are clearly visible. Yes, Richmond is my preferred brand these days since all the butchers closed down and imo 60% rusk tastes good. I would like to thank 77dave for his more realistic take on things.

You know what. The more I look at it and the more you argue the toss the more I think I wouldn't even feed this pile of dross to my dog.

Clearly the long distance photos have stopped everyone but the ultra astute David from spotting the Richmond sausages.

Those things are only marginally better than the Linda McCartney [ ]sausages we were subjected to recently.

Take it like a man Mantis. I know you wanted rave reviews but unfortunately your breakfast appears to be shit.

Says the man who submitted weird curly stripey sausages that looked like somebody's massive half cooked colon.

I accepted all criticism aimed at my colon shaped sausages and vowed to improve for next time.

You just seem to want to tell everyone that their opinions are wrong. How will you ever reach perfection if you don't accept that despite your pig headed unwillingness to look facts in the face your breakfast was in fact mediocre at best?

[TightEnd]

exactly Mantis

Aim for Perfection

Click to see full-size image.

Surprised to see you are a smoker, too.

[RED-DOG]

I mean when Tikay presents a photo of a duck but the duck has flown away and there is just a lake I understand why that meets with criticism.

I lolled. In fact, I'm still lolling.

[bobAlike]

Mantis

Too many harsh minus points from the critics for me

Cutlery on wrong side of plate -0.25
s*n -1 People + 0.25
Plate size and side plates +1
need extra bacon and sausage -1
eggs needed a little more -.05

8.5/10
great effort might be best plate served so far

On Tikays rate my photo thread this is 2/10
 

You've clearly been hanging round with Celtic too long to understand what constitutes a good fry up.

[bobAlike]

exactly Mantis

Aim for Perfection



Surprised to see you are a smoker, too.

FYP

[Woodsey]

Not an entry obviously as its not a fry up, but after seeing Alex mention eggy bread I just had to have some with a couple of other random fridge items that were in. Not had it for years, Lovely stuff om non nom. 

Click to see full-size image.

Click to see full-size image.

[bobAlike]

Aren't you going to miss your penis?