Rate My Fry-up...

[TightEnd]

Browsing blonde in library, got dirty looks for giggling out loud @ maltesers.

I got agreeable looks from Dana for giggling out loud to Tighty being on a diet.

(Just a joke, by the way, don't eat in anger)

 

Preparing your P45 as we speak son.

[lazaroonie]

the overall appearance is haphazard, with magazines strewn over table top, and suggests you live very untidily. I would not expect this from your overall appearance. - 10 points

.

the point being that a jumble of lads mags detracts from the image you must surely wish to portray, where the food is the focal point of the image rather than the viewer merely being left to think "Wonder if Dana knows where he keeps his Razzles?"

Those are Dana's bizarre magazines, not mine. Besides, it's a fry-up, not dinner at Buckingham Palace. What's on the plate is more important than the decor, surely.

As I said, I was a virgin prior to this effort, and asked for that to be taken into account. As such, -20, especially when negative points were given due to an oversight on your part, seems a little harsh.

I would ask where your latest effort is, but you're probably licking the plate before the flash has had time to go off.

sorry bud, there is just so much wrong with it

chips on a fry up ? The only people who are allowed to have chips on a fryup are builders. So its negative marks right away, unless you were heading off to roughcast the back of the house straight afterwards. But you then lose double marks for the fact that they are OVEN CHIPS !!!

i do like the idea of using real tomatoes, but their overall presence is questionable. Also your beanage. The beans look suspiciously dry as well, as if the sauce has been removed....or burnt.

hard to tell with the mushrooms since they cannot be seen. i wouldnt be surprised if they have been poached.

Eggs cannot be on a seperate plate. they are an integral part of the plate.

[Graham C]

Without starting to criticise the contents, it's a huge mess, it may taste good, but it's not scoring highly from me either.  I'm not as harsh as most, but still not great, maybe 4/10

[The-Crow]

Hey a busy reporter does not have time to cook breakfast at home

And If I can find a good value breakfast from a local supplier, its only fair to share it with my pals.

One of the sausages was cold in the centre, indicating they were pre-cooked and micro'd before serving

The eggs were raw on the top ,the white was see-through,

When we complained the sausage was cold , she took the plate back to the kitchen ,

and returned the same sausage, having been warmed in the microwave. Surely a good establishment would have replaced

the cold sausage     with a new one freshly zapped in their microwave.

We will not be going to Weatherspoons for breakfast again

[snoopy1239]

hard to tell with the mushrooms since they cannot be seen. i wouldnt be surprised if they have been poached.

Nope, all above board, bought them in Tesco last night.

[Dewi_cool]

deep fried oven chips are good, never on a fry up though. Get Dana to try nxt time, im sure She would succeed where the beagle buggered up 3/10

[thetank]

deep fried oven chips are good, never on a fry up though. Get Dana to try nxt time, im sure She would succeed where the beagle buggered up 3/10

hard to tell with the mushrooms since they cannot be seen. i wouldnt be surprised if they have been poached.

Nope, all above board, bought them in Tesco last night.

this joke gets breakfast +1 imo

4/10

[tikay]

hard to tell with the mushrooms since they cannot be seen. i wouldnt be surprised if they have been poached.

Nope, all above board, bought them in Tesco last night.

Lol - now that IS funny.

[gatso]

snoops, do you have a really short attention span? can't think of any other reason why you'd just give up 1/2 way through buttering the toast

[LeKnave]

Breakfasts which are bought should be banned from this thread imo.

Absolutely.

hahaha

[Amatay]

Breakfasts which are bought should be banned from this thread imo.

Couldn't agree more. It's lazy and casts a shadow on those who have given their all to home-made efforts.

Potential thread killers too.

Too right Snoops. My effort took ages to perfect

[KarmaDope]

Breakfasts which are bought should be banned from this thread imo.

Couldn't agree more. It's lazy and casts a shadow on those who have given their all to home-made efforts.

Potential thread killers too.

Too right Snoops. My effort took ages to perfect

Your attempt should be banned from ever being cooked again, ffs.

[technolog]

As I know what it's like to have a new one ripped for me after my efforts on this thread, I'm going to be very generous with 5/10.

But the eggs - BASTE PLS!!! Corn on the cob - WTF! Wholemeal toast!?!

Quite liking Kev's idea of using the chips (oven chips FFS!) as egg dippage media - a sort of toast/bread surrogate. Need to be relegated to an off-plate area, in a condimentary fashion.

[dik9]

Snoops ........... Corn on the bloody cob?? OMG!! Body in shock thinking about it 

[danafish]

I've just noticed, one of your tomatoes looks like it's screaming.

Thanks for my fry up, though. Coffee and bacon in bed, mmm. Don't listen to your detractors, I think the corn was inspired. That and the barbecue sauce gave it a Southern feel of which I approve. Grateful for omission of grits though.

My verdict:

8/10

Points deducted for the wrong kind of sausages, selfishly not sharing your mushrooms, and a total lack of hot sauce; one point awarded back for the apparently endless coffee. Excellent effort.