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Joke!!
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Topic: Joke!! (Read 313827 times)
Girgy85
Hero Member
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Posts: 9507
Re: Joke!!
«
Reply #1080 on:
March 07, 2013, 12:01:47 PM »
A 35 year old Pakistani man from Slough has been arrested for punching his wife in the face
Chinda Goodunpropa denies the charge.
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Best poster Girgy IMO - Mantis
Girgy is my new hero! - Evilpie
Think Girgy has shown the best leopard instincts in this thread and would prob survive best in the wild. Eye of the tiger that fella - Mantis
Girgy is a m'fkn machine - Daveshoelace
bobAlike
Hero Member
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Posts: 5922
Re: Joke!!
«
Reply #1081 on:
March 07, 2013, 12:07:54 PM »
In honor of Hugo Chavez I've engraved my taps with his initials.
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Ah! The element of surprise
smashedagain
moderator of moderators
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Posts: 12522
if you are gonna kiss arse you have to do it right
Re: Joke!!
«
Reply #1082 on:
March 09, 2013, 02:03:08 PM »
Looking to rent an ice cream van to give me a bit of pocket money this summer. Trouble is everyone wants hundreds and thousands.
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[ ] ept title
[ ] wpt title
[ ] wsop braclet
[X] mickey mouse hoodies
KarmaDope
Hero Member
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Posts: 9283
Re: Joke!!
«
Reply #1083 on:
March 09, 2013, 06:50:10 PM »
Click to see full-size image.
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geordieneil
we are we are we are the mods
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Posts: 1472
Re: Joke!!
«
Reply #1084 on:
March 10, 2013, 12:22:37 PM »
My wife was sitting on the sofa last night reading a book called, "100 ways to please your man."
I said, "Don't bother reading any of that nonsense, you only need to do two things for me and I'll be the happiest bloke ever.
She smiled and said, "Aww, what's that then?"
I said, "Pack your bags and fuck off."
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zerofive
Hero Member
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Posts: 1890
Re: Joke!!
«
Reply #1085 on:
March 10, 2013, 12:39:28 PM »
I just got a text from my mate, who misclick wished me a "happy mother's day" lol
Fortunately, his mom spent the night so I was able to pass the message on.
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Tal
Hero Member
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Posts: 24352
"He's always at it!"
Re: Joke!!
«
Reply #1086 on:
March 13, 2013, 08:09:44 AM »
How many hipsters does it take to change a light bulb?
It's not a mainstream number. You wouldn't have heard of it.
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"You must take your opponent into a deep, dark forest, where 2+2=5, and the path leading out is only wide enough for one"
sovietsong
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Posts: 8497
Re: Joke!!
«
Reply #1087 on:
March 15, 2013, 09:11:16 AM »
When U2 last played in Glasgow, Bono started slowly clapping his hands and said "every time I clap my hands, a child dies in Africa..." Someone shouted out "STOP CLAPPING YOUR FUCKING HANDS THEN!!"
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In the category of Funniest Poster I nominate sovietsong. - mantis 21/12/2012
sovietsong
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Posts: 8497
Re: Joke!!
«
Reply #1088 on:
March 16, 2013, 05:02:59 PM »
"Go and have a look at the size of the shit I've just done in the bathroom!" I said to my wife.
"No thanks," she replied.
"Please, just one quick look," I said, "You won't believe it, it's a good two pounder."
Shaking her head in disbelief, she pinched her nose, ran in, looked down the toilet, then ran out and said, "There's nothing down there, you must've flushed it."
I said, "It's on the scales."
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In the category of Funniest Poster I nominate sovietsong. - mantis 21/12/2012
bobAlike
Hero Member
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Posts: 5922
Re: Joke!!
«
Reply #1089 on:
March 16, 2013, 07:08:14 PM »
How does the Pope pay for his Internet shopping?
Papal
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Ah! The element of surprise
bobAlike
Hero Member
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Posts: 5922
Re: Joke!!
«
Reply #1090 on:
March 16, 2013, 07:13:18 PM »
My girlfriend said she wanted to spice up our sex life so I began with cumin on her tits.
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Ah! The element of surprise
david3103
Hero Member
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Posts: 6104
Re: Joke!!
«
Reply #1091 on:
March 20, 2013, 02:40:56 PM »
Women are like carpets, lay them right first time and you can walk over them for years
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It's more about the winning than the winnings
5 November 2012 - Kinboshi says "Best post ever on blonde thumbs up"
RED-DOG
International Lover World Wide Playboy
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Posts: 46991
Re: Joke!!
«
Reply #1092 on:
March 20, 2013, 02:49:49 PM »
Quote from: david3103 on March 20, 2013, 02:40:56 PM
Women are like carpets, lay them right first time and you can walk over them for years
Yes, but eventually you get tired of the same old shag pile.
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The older I get, the better I was.
Tal
Hero Member
Offline
Posts: 24352
"He's always at it!"
Re: Joke!!
«
Reply #1093 on:
March 20, 2013, 02:59:37 PM »
The world is a dangerous place. Only yesterday I walked into Boots and punched someone in the face.
- Jeremy Lamb
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"You must take your opponent into a deep, dark forest, where 2+2=5, and the path leading out is only wide enough for one"
david3103
Hero Member
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Posts: 6104
Re: Joke!!
«
Reply #1094 on:
March 20, 2013, 02:59:42 PM »
Quote from: RED-DOG on March 20, 2013, 02:49:49 PM
Quote from: david3103 on March 20, 2013, 02:40:56 PM
Women are like carpets, lay them right first time and you can walk over them for years
Yes, but eventually you get tired of the same old shag pile.
(had to post it here to avoid offering it as advice to Alex in his diary)
Logged
It's more about the winning than the winnings
5 November 2012 - Kinboshi says "Best post ever on blonde thumbs up"
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