The Best In The Business

[pleno1]

@mantis is anybody ever away from delusion and unhappiness at all
Times though? In your story did you ever feel Completely like you were so unlucky and a sense of
Entitlement. Even if it was only there for 5 minutes. Think about the very worst you felt all times in the last 12 months now imagine you wrote it down all in once without proof reading and then pressed post.

Imagine eso Kral now, really sick at what he does. He makes this new 50 pound idea and for whatever reason for one month every house falls through and he has one night when he's completely feeling shit. He opens his laptop at the peak of his unhappiness, writes for 10 minutes non stop and then presses post.

Imagine arbboy finding every great sports bet. For one month during the World Cup he gets fucked every single game and although he's ok 95% of the time he has lne really bad night, starts writing on his laptop and presses post.

In almost every job even if you approach it perfectly people will have very bad days. It will sound like a broken record but I personally wanted this to be a diary that showed an emotional diary of a poker player at the WSOP who is winning or losing hundreds of thousands of dollars. I showed days of pride, accomplishment, hard work, but there is also the other side. Like I said previously I could have made this rosy but I thought people wanted to see the other side as I can't remember any other pro really being as brutally honest in a proper WSOP diary. I wanted it to
Be blood, sweat, tears and bracelets!

It doesn't offend me that at all That it upsets people or creates so Much controversy, it really has just shown me that protecting exactly what you say and realising how it will come across is important. Of course it will be delusional, of course it will show signs of entitlement, but so would 99.9% of other poker players if their exact thought process was somehow blurted onto a page.

[George2Loose]

The point is that if housing or sports betting was like poker- 80% of eso's housings deals would fall thru (cos he wouldn't crash) or the he would have a deal that would complete 80% of the time but he gets two outered. Or he would go on a run for 6 months where he doesn't make any money from housing sales.

However knowing this he would cope with it. It's the world you live in mate. Most of the time you're gonna lose at poker. Most sessions/comps etc.

[pleno1]

Whether you keep them close to your chest, or whether you write them up, the point is, they are bad thoughts to have.

You are going to need to go through several lifetimes of bracelet events before you even get close to working out whether or not you got what was due to you.  Many more times over in $10k+ events.

So, the only real way I think you can deal with it is to peel off an acceptable amount of your yearly online profit, take it to Vegas and spin it.  And then it is what it is.. and then when an ace rolls off on the river at 5pm one afternoon, you can smile a smile of borderline indifference, wish them gl with your chips and go and do something fun with the rest of your day.

Hey yeah that's exactly what it is and what I've tried to say that I've learned.

I can't go into series like SCOOP and the WSOP with a pre
Conceived idea of wanting to be the player of the series or have a resukts based goal. My goals have to just be to play as good as possible in every tournnament and become the best player possible. That should
And will satisfy me moving forward.

I'm not a complete poker player and I'm not a complete person. I want to learn and develop in both ways. I think I'm a good player but of course I have leaps and bounds to improve. I think I'm a good person, I think I'm actually very Mature for my age but I realise I Have a lot to learn about myself and a lot of development as a person. I'm a 26 year old kid having swings of 100s of thousands, it's tough to be emotionally stable all of the time.

I agree almost entirely with your post btw perhaps I'm wrong but I think most players have similar thoughts and similar demons. There is a huge sense of entitlement, ego and sadness in poker. From $2 SNG players to guys who play super high rollers, the nature of the game creates a really difficult mental situation. Why do you think the best players in the world use mental game coaches? Why is jared tendler and Barry's book probably tthe best poker book out there at the moment? People really
Struggle with this and I just wanted to show people this summer the times I felt great and the times I felt awful.

[dwayne110]

Really interesting last few pages of the diary,

Re your above post Pads, fwiw there's nothing wrong with penning your immediate thoughts etc at the time - it can be therapeutic to you, and also gives a good insight into the raw emotions you're experiencing at the point of the good/bad event.

Likewise, I think you've explained above clearly that such posts are not representative of what you are / your normal self.

What I would recommend is:


- remember, once you put something in writing on a forum etc it's there for all to see, and people invariable take longer to forget than to do; so maybe have a quick read over your posts first, as objectively as possible
- avoid random references to controversial subjects like depression, especially if not qualified to give or not relevant to you
- always keep in mind perspective. Your life situation is incredible really!
- keep writing. This diary is brilliant and without question one of the highlights of Blonde. I'm pretty confident the benefits to you of posting/recording/getting feedback etc outweighs the negatives

Hoping you'll crush the ME, as for the work you put into your game/career the positive variance spin would be deserved.

[pleno1]

The point is that if housing or sports betting was like poker- 80% of eso's housings deals would fall thru (cos he wouldn't crash) or the he would have a deal that would complete 80% of the time but he gets two outered. Or he would go on a run for 6 months where he doesn't make any money from housing sales.

However knowing this he would cope with it. It's the world you live in mate. Most of the time you're gonna lose at poker. Most sessions/comps etc.

Hey yeah and most of the time I will be ok and most of the time eso will be ok and most of
The time most people will be ok, but there is times when everybody Is sad and upset and they would very normally not vent their personal feelings at their lowest for the exact reasons as I mentioned here.

I just wanted to show how a poker player thinks during their good and bad times in a diary format.
I know I've said that a lot but I still think it's still lost on people.

[pleno1]

Really interesting last few pages of the diary,

Re your above post Pads, fwiw there's nothing wrong with penning your immediate thoughts etc at the time - it can be therapeutic to you, and also gives a good insight into the raw emotions you're really at the point of the good/bad event.

Likewise, I think you've explained about clearly that such posts are not representative of what you are / your normal self.

What I would recommend is:


- remember, once you put something in writing on a forum etc it's there for all to see, and people invariable take longer to forget than to do; so maybe have a quick read over your posts first, as objectively as possible
- avoid random references to controversial subjects like depression, especially if not qualified to give or not relevant to you
- always keep in mind perspective. Your life situation is incredible really!
- keep writing. This diary is brilliant and without question one of the highlights of Blonde. I'm pretty confident the benefits to you of posting/recording/getting feedback etc outweighs the negatives

Hoping you'll crush the ME, as for the work you put into your game/career the positive variance spin would be deserved.

Thanks I agree.

[pleno1]

I asked blonde to take the thread down for a couple of days, people seemed to take some of the stuff I said negatively and I just wanted to have a few days to think about what I wrote.

I think I reiterated it multiple times but I was not trying to
Insinuate I was clinically depressed or close to it. I really very good.

I was just pointing out that if somebody says "hi people I feel
This" and then people reacting saying "you shouldn't feel like that" might not be the best way to react.

The whole talking about depression thing was off at a tangent and I didn't mean to offend anybody etc it wasn't like that.

[Marky147]

It's a diary that is read by lots of people, you can't expect everything you write to be taken positively by everyone.

As for having it taken down, that seems way OTT... Stop being so melodramatic/apologetic about writing your own thoughts/feelings down, and go win something!

[Tal]

I must admit I found it a little galling to be up at 6am for work and read a post from the guy who seems to win five figures every Sunday, complaining about how it sucks to be flying to Monte Carlo and then to Las Vegas.

But as you have tried to say until you're blue in the face, this diary is about capturing the moment; taking a verbal photo of you at that very moment. It's raw and, for me, describes the emotions we all have from time to time. My first reaction ignored that it was just a quick Polaroid/selfie. My second reaction was what I posted.

Footballers complain about the lives they have, Dan Bilzerian probably doesn't fancy a fifth consecutive assault rifle and brandy day and Hugh Heffner gets a bit fed up of blonde twentysomethings every now and then. The rest of us, with 9-5s and obligations, scoff. It's natural. It's not envy, particularly, but it breeds negative reactions.

I was just pointing out that if somebody says "hi people I feel
This" and then people reacting saying "you shouldn't feel like that" might not be the best way to react.

And that is exactly the point.

The comments about not using certain words are fair. You'll just hit people's buttons that way.

Anyway, keep taking the photos, keep working hard and one day you can be rich and successful and earn millions like Mantis.

[pleno1]

I actually had a lot of anxiety about playing the one drop because of how I felt after the 25k in Malta when I lost the big hand at the end of day 1, I didn't know how I'd be able to react to everything. Maybe all of this is a huge blessing in disguise, I feel like I totally "get it" now and that I'm more ready to play a big event than I ever have been. I did the commentary again for HU in the 10k 6max tonight, I generally just feel at the top of my game, not rusty etc and all of the "high roller doubts and potential problems" are totally blown away now.

I feel ready for this tournament and the challenge and motivation towards it really, really excites me. I'm not nervous about winning or losing in the tournament, I'm going to go and try and make lots and lots of good decisions and what will be, will be.

I really am truly excited to play it now. Before I wasn't sure if I was ready or not to play such a tournament, after the last week I don't think I've ever been as ready.

[pleno1]

I must admit I found it a little galling to be up at 6am for work and read a post from the guy who seems to win five figures every Sunday, complaining about how it sucks to be flying to Monte Carlo and then to Las Vegas.

But as you have tried to say until you're blue in the face, this diary is about capturing the moment; taking a verbal photo of you at that very moment. It's raw and, for me, describes the emotions we all have from time to time. My first reaction ignored that it was just a quick Polaroid/selfie. My second reaction was what I posted.

Footballers complain about the lives they have, Dan Bilzerian probably doesn't fancy a fifth consecutive assault rifle and brandy day and Hugh Heffner gets a bit fed up of blonde twentysomethings every now and then. The rest of us, with 9-5s and obligations, scoff. It's natural. It's not envy, particularly, but it breeds negative reactions.

I was just pointing out that if somebody says "hi people I feel
This" and then people reacting saying "you shouldn't feel like that" might not be the best way to react.

And that is exactly the point.

The comments about not using certain words are fair. You'll just hit people's buttons that way.

Anyway, keep taking the photos, keep working hard and one day you can be rich and successful and earn millions like Mantis.

<3

[DaveShoelace]

Keep posting, you are being honest and that's all anyone can ask. If people don't like it, it's sometimes a good thing to hear things that challenge or upset us, if they really don't like it, they can stop reading. Beyond that it's their problem not yours Pads.

[jakally]

Keep posting, you are being honest and that's all anyone can ask. If people don't like it, it's sometimes a good thing to hear things that challenge or upset us, if they really don't like it, they can stop reading. Beyond that it's their problem not yours Pads.

Agree completely with this.

[david3103]

Keep writing please. Keep the honesty there too because the world needs more of that.

And get a grip and start doing some wins, I already used my substitution so you're the captain I'm stuck with.

[shipitgood]

Best/ funniest story of Vegas so far?