Luton 2012 thread, powered by the same old 3-4 posters

[GMan]

Luther You the best>>>!!!!!!!!

[tikay]

Incredible writing & observational skills, Luther!

Do we miss Chompy? Chompy who?

PS - he PM's me daily with updates of all the money he is winning in Vegas. First PM expected any day now.......

[tikay]

Ahh, at last, just in, news from Vegas, where our man is positively CRUSHING.

250 for day 1a of the $350. 25k at the first break, 50k at dinner. Came back at 800-1600. up to 60k when...folded to me in the SB, had a shove monkey to my left with 40k, so limped with AK. He duly shoved A6. Sx on the turn. Sigh. Back up to 60k. 29 due to come back. Matey boy shoved 35k utg at 1k-2k, so I jammed AK. Sure got there v JJ. Gone soon after. Will try again today. So far -$800..

Anyone care to guess what date flouncing commences?

[Poker_Monkey]

Ahh, at last, just in, news from Vegas, where our man is positively CRUSHING.

250 for day 1a of the $350. 25k at the first break, 50k at dinner. Came back at 800-1600. up to 60k when...folded to me in the SB, had a shove monkey to my left with 40k, so limped with AK. He duly shoved A6. Sx on the turn. Sigh. Back up to 60k. 29 due to come back. Matey boy shoved 35k utg at 1k-2k, so I jammed AK. Sure got there v JJ. Gone soon after. Will try again today. So far -$800..

Anyone care to guess what date flouncing commences?

My moneys on it all ready happened

[tikay]

Ahh, at last, better news from our man in Vegas, who has now settled in, & got the tables sussed. Deffo crushing now.

"Level 13 yesterday, Level 12 today - sure made Day Two - try again in the five hundo tomorrow".

I replied, reassuring him of my full confidence, he wrote back "yup, am very confident of a big cash, it is going very well here, send more money".

[the sicilian]

Played at luton last night out in the Sports bar as there was apparently a comedy night on in the poker room.  The real comedy was out on the poker tables as i encountered a multitude of limp call with any 2 cards fish...K5 105 64 os were amongst them...aces cracked early and a rebuy..can't believe i lasted until last 3 tables as was desperate to bust as the play was truly shocking even for Luton.

After busting myself and the Pizz man went on an epic spin up on the roulette and the G kindly donated six and a half grand to our degen fund..even the snow blizzard outside couldn't dampen our spirits as we exited stage left ..pockets bulging with filthy ill gotten gains....

[tikay]

Only poker players could complain that the opposition was so bad we could not possibly win.

More skill in that roulette, eh?

[the sicilian]

Only poker players could complain that the opposition was so bad we could not possibly win.

More skill in that roulette, eh?

hard to beat people who call with crap hit the world or won't give up one pair...roulette + ev for me compared to my mad poker skillz

[tikay]

Only poker players could complain that the opposition was so bad we could not possibly win.

More skill in that roulette, eh?

hard to beat people who call with crap hit the world or won't give up one pair...roulette + ev for me compared to my mad poker skillz

You will be telling us that it is easier to beat the likes of Shalllow, Cody, Toby & co next.....

We have a whole Forum Board next door dedicated to poker players who say it is not possible to beat low stakes players, or "bad" players. Seems somewhat illogical to me.

[the sicilian]

Only poker players could complain that the opposition was so bad we could not possibly win.

More skill in that roulette, eh?

hard to beat people who call with crap hit the world or won't give up one pair...roulette + ev for me compared to my mad poker skillz

You will be telling us that it is easier to beat the likes of Shalllow, Cody, Toby & co next.....

We have a whole Forum Board next door dedicated to poker players who say it is not possible to beat low stakes players, or "bad" players. Seems somewhat illogical to me.

I suppose the phrase should be its hard to beat bad players that hit the world...im having a whinge ffs grandad..usually im happy to play the fish..easy game but..tbh..id rather play Cody et al...best tournament i played last year was my only fessie outing of the year.. the gukpt main at coventry..proper poker played by people who can really play.... oh and i got mentally slow rolled as well..fortunately for him he was the only bloke who plays poker whose actually older than u...

[OverTheBorder]

Well, as I made a first appearance in 6 months, I thought I would do a Saturday night review in view of Luther's failure to give his usual thorough assesment! there will be less ..... and less phuqqin's but I shall try.

Preperation - following advice from my coach Darren "Drainy" Allen, I decided to go for a solid 7 hours in the pub before arriving nice and early for the 8pm tournement, felt I was at a solid level of drunkness to ensure comedy bluffs, regular openings and questionable table chat.  With £47 pounds in my pocket, I visited the cash providing machine which indicated a lack of desire to provide any money.  This 15 days from pay day presented somewhat of a problem.  Therefore this evenings tournement was pivotal in my hopes for A getting back to Edinburgh and B eating for the rest of the month.  After successfully borrowing enough to ensure a constant level of drinking I registered and awaited the Saturday Night Madness.

Opening Table - I found myself on table 8 of 8, a tought spot having two raising machines Chinese George and Betty on my right meant opening was going to be very difficult, this coupled with John, a pair of questionable reflective Aviators accross the table which proved ideal for checking my hair, and a non dennis table slapping American meant for an interesting dynamic.  I counted something like 30 pre flop raises in my 3 levels on this table, of which 27 were mine, so I was having a great deal of fun!

Luther - our regular updater only stayed in the building for approximately 42 minutes, covering two attempts at Saturday Night Fame.  My favourite moment being when queueing for a re-entry, cunningly putting his jacket back on to make it appear it was a first attempt.  Genius...made me chuckle!

"the break" - after doubling my stack through non stop raising and very little care of actual cards dealt, I triumphantly took my break after 3 levels.  Having entered the bar area to make sure Saturday night entertainment had not improved, I decided to return to find my table broken and a whole level missed! Apparently they dont break after 3 levels anymore...WP

New Table - John and Chinese George missed me too much to stay off my table, joined by Bharrat Homes Joshi and several new faces to me.  One gentleman asked my advice on when to go to the toilet every few levels, I told him its G policy that players must soil themselves as opposed to dare leave the table! another player asked if he could raise before doing it, very polite table.  Bharrat spent most of the time looking suspiciously at every one of my 246 opening bets, very shrewd that man.  Despite being decimated by 1010>KK I managed to build and maintain average stack with a policy of steal, steal and steal some more!

the Structure - having read 14 pages of turbot bashing I was concerned I would be hate it, but it did play semi okay, it was getting a bit silly near the final table (sick brags to follow), but thankfully the knight in shining armer who is Daniel accidently put the clock up to 30! turns out this was an accident but it sure helped!  the afternoon game appeared to run for the best part of 29 hours, so evidently it lasted okay too! the final table 30 minutes business is very good, and it wasnt too bad and kept a lot of play!

the final - having out lasted a selection of first time players and fellow drunks I reached a comedy final table with the exception of Gentleman Jim had no recognised players, I include myself in that being the 2ndWPIL last season.  realised resonably early the concept of equity, range and anyother of the things these crazy kids think of, would mean nothing here, so I employed a limp to victory policy which whilst hurting my very soul, appeared the best idea!  remembering laddering was further ensuring future eating!  my plan whilst soul destroying got me heads up with someone who had never played before! with me having played so badly all my life, he was a clear favourite, and he duly converted! but 2nd pretty much levels my whole 2011 so shant complain! I could not beat 7th level thinking, the winning hand being limp   in the SB heads up, flat the 3 bet, far too well disguised for me!

The Drainy's - the whole clan was in, and challenging me on the drinks front, also involved in a £20 one buy in random double chance self deal tournement with 8000000000 chips and 2 days levels by the looks of things, which seemed to never end! but WP Drainy for outlasting mini Drainy to make heads up, who won escaped me as I was pretty wasted by that point.

I shall be back in another month on another raiding mission! having also plundered your cash tables for a princely sum despite refusing to value bet any hands due to savage low balling enforced by a requirement to eat for the rest of the month.  Highlight being the promotion to the "feature" table which included cash game pro Vinnie Calenti! highlights being getting a bacon sandwich 15 minutes after Vinnie was refused one! and mine and Vinnie's £2 per hand #ballin side bet counting the winning hand of against Vinnie's dastardly     double sided card in every pot.  Led to some comedy raising to lock up a £2 profit in several hands and cut down Vinnie's draws! think I ended up >ve for £2-3 over the night! #ballinoutofcontrol!

Back over the border now....ta ta

[luther101]

It’s a (belated) Loofah comp Report-Fest, BOGOF!

Thursday;

Hooray, the Cardroom was turned over to live ‘entertainment’, and the poker got shoved into the telly room – laughing called The Sports Lounge!

“Comedy Night at the G”, extolled the flyer     …    and over in The Poker Lounge Morose Morris entered into the spirit.

Three tables left, and BB Deano was moved off to pastures new – Loofah confided, “You’ll love that lot – a clueless bunch of rookie students await”.

Well Spangly Shirt sure showed them his ‘A game’ – out in an orbit, pwned by a gaggle of freckle-faced foetuses (foetii ??).

Maybe an intense series of tutorials with Celtic might improve Deano’s desperately transparent game      ….

Friday;

That bloke from the Yoyo Appreciation Society from Wednesday night was still sat at the DC table     ….    Loofah mused the poor chap must be homeless – I’ll Google where he can pick up his very own bundle of the Big Issue magazine, that’ll help get him ‘back on his feet’.

Table 1;

Some cock wouldn’t believe me, and I melded a few k into his stack unfashionably early. Normal service resumed – rapid recovery ensued – and it was a BB cough to upset someone new.

Table 1;

Claypole to my immediate left     ….      the rest of the table was like a becalmed wartime convoy, unaware the U-boats were closing.

Periscope up – no escorts!

Conning Tower surfaces        ….      And the convoy scattered under the onslaught.

I’ve never got to talk to Shaun before – but soon hit it off with a thoroughly entertaining lad    ….     which was just as well, as the rest of the table entered a state of catatonic shock as Captain Gaypole let ‘em have it!

I played a hand horribly - but eventually got there to vanquish some impertinent fellow with trip Queens.

Then U-UUPT also made a shocking manoeuvre, shortly after.

We both agreed not to disclose this to that Yeovil fan who, sharing a pizza with Shaun  came over for his half      ….    this resulted in over two thirds of the meal disappearing, as Sellick ‘snacked’ voraciously.

U-UUPT got into a monster pot with Transparent Ted who went all in with his Aces, or Kings, when re-raised by the Sturmenfuher on a Queen high, two club flop – guess who had Queen, two clubs?

Victory for the Valkerie    ….    though I take it mathematics wasn’t one of Claypole’s better subjects at Kindergarten (57% favourite, mein arshloch!).

Vince wobbled over with a full tray of chips, and a half empty stomach, to the table – now down to two - shortly after my KK had held, and the Three Amigos had a third - to half of the chips in play between them     ….     much to the disgust of Chompy, railing from The Venetian!

Loofah was banished from Table Chips to Table Crumbs, to join amongst others Chandra, and Carpark Henderson.

Glen was sans Merlot uber-chirpy on Spring Water     ….    I dunno what minerals they put in Highland tap water but Henderson was babbling like a brook!

Not for long though, he confidently shoved with his Q 9 – and Loofah ‘got there’ with KK.

U-UUPT had sealed his fate earlier by saying to Vin, and moi, “with these stacks we’ll all make the Final Table”       …..     he didn’t!

As we settled into our seats Vin got a text from Shaun    ….      spitting feathers about the guy who’d depthcharged his sub.

Calenti commiserated, and sent a message of condolence     ….     “That drink you ordered has just arrived. Are you coming back for it?”

Chandra conducted the Cash Table’s chants of, “What a player”     ….    As is only right, and proper!

Vince sorted out some bubble payments from the overlay, so all were getting paid – grudging acceptance was finally agreed by an RD that looked like he could be a danger to kids (“I will this time, I don’t usually!”      ….     “Well thank you RD, and wtf are you anyway?” Loofah managed not to blurt out!)

Well some RDs quickly went, followed by a lucky fellow – who looked like Herman Munster - and Chandra    …     and we were down to four.

Danger to Kids, Saarfend Darren, Vincent the Bruce, and your Wondrous Raconteur.

Saarfend D had laddered like a rogue roofer, and now had slightly more chips than I.

So, I stuck it in his eye with 7 3 of shovels     …     whoops – instacall!

Now I don’t know what part of Essex thinks A poxy J is better than 7 3 on the button, but the outcome was never in doubt!

Danger to Kids didn’t last much longer, and stayed to watch two (Austin) Maestros battle out heads up.

We didn’t keep him long, as we managed to get half a mill chips in, in four hands.

Vinny got very lucky when his Ace matched the two Aces on the flop a bit better than me.

We walked away, both agreeing that Shaun shoulda won really!

[FallenAngelAlex]

stuck it in his eye with 7 3 of shovels Hahaha. Just made me throw my coffee all over the train and laugh so abruptly that people are looking at me strange. Love your reports loof keep up the great work!

[tikay]

More incredible writing by Loofah.

He might look daft......

[celtic]

I just can't think of enough words to do justice to luthers tourney reports.