The SceneA street corner on 38th and Broadway, NYC
Click to see full-size image. |
An illegal bookie meets with an employee to discuss the day's takings
"Hey Vito, come and tell me how we did today" said Don, smoking an enormous cigar
"Hey boss, a good day. We've been laying everything they back on that tips for tikay thread."
"Yes?" said Don, a broad smile creasing his face in anticipation "tell me more"
"It wasn't looking so good, boss, they were making money this month but it all turned round yesterday"
"I was worried early in the afternoon. The old man was asleep and they were set for a good day"
"asleep again?" enquired Don "no one told him about the narcoleptic properties of beetroot yet?"
"don't know boss, anyway they had a big bet on Oosthuizen to be second round leader at Augusta. All our agents had laid it across the country when they saw the bet go up. Fingers jimmy in Minnesota, Fats domino the pizza man in Cleveland...." as the list grew it soon became apparent that it was important to the syndicate that Oosthuizen lost
"and he was -5 teeing off on the 15th, joint leader and they had chances of winning a grand and we were going to do millions"
Don sat up
"please tell me the Old Man woke up?"
Vito said, deadpan
"the old man woke up. Even better, he posted on their forum about possibly winning a grand"
Don visibly relaxed
Vito continued
"Oosthuizen imploded on 15. 3rd shot into the water, 5th onto green, sixth putted short, 7th raced by, 8th into hole. Back to -1. Ended 7 shots off the lead"
Don shook his head
"will those schmucks never learn?"
the question hung heavy as Vito continued
"the golf got better for us. Zach Johnson, Garcia and Schwarzel all missed the cut"
Don nodded sagely
"I knew Garcia would miss the cut" he said and cut off Vito when he was about to ask why
"so they did £270 on the golf and now have to rely on Freddie Couples and Jordan Speith to get them out of it"
"even better, they were on Castle-ford"
"Castle-ford?" enquired Don
"a bleak industrial nightmare somewhere off the A1 in Northern England" replied Vito "like Detriot, only without the charm"
Don nodded
"18-0 up, then 24-10 up. At 11/4 they were set to claw some back. My lads were not happy"
Don arched an eyebrow
"but it was ok, the old man posted on the forum again"
Don waited, expectant
""its in the bag, surely we can't lose?" the old man was saying. Even joking about it"
"go on" said Don
"Only it wasn't in the bag and Saint Helens came back to win 30-28"
Don shook his head
"He did it again. Why don't those schmucks keep him away from a computer when they have a sweat on?"
Vito shook his head back
"beats me boss"
and continued
"Only one bad bet for us yesterday. Doooobye put up droopy sultana at romford. Stands to raisin that it won, from that source"
Don went to speak but Vito got the bad news out early
"it won at 15/8 and they won £75 on it. Fortunately it went up so late that we didn't get a chance to lay it"
Don raised a hand
"never lay anything dooobye puts up. golden rule. so that worked out well too"
"Yes boss. "
Don pondered then asked a final question
"so they did their whole monthly profit in a day?"
"Yes boss they set fire to £213. We won thousands"
"good job Vito. If the old man is asleep tomorrow, get English Ray to wake him up, somehow"
"Yes boss"