I was too accident prone to risk it.
I was once caught short out in the fens, not a tree or a bush as far as the eye could see, so I jumped down into a dike that would be deep enough to hide me once I had assumed the position.
Unfortunately when I landed at the bottom, Newton's first law came into play. I stopped, but the contents of my rectum continued on it's downward trajectory.
That was an uncomfortable journey home.
🤣🤣🤣