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So this is a bit disconcerting.

There's an advert that comes on the telly where a stupid looking middle aged bloke, (think Nirvana but younger) stands in the middle of his kitchen with a casserole dish, does a pirouette for no discernible reason, and slops a dollop on to the tiled floor.

He glances at the clock on the wall, the big hand is almost on the 12. He grabs his Flash Speed Mop, cleans the kitchen floor in seconds, and opens the kitchen door to welcome his visitor.

Click to see full-size image.

So immediately I'm thinking...



Why is he standing in the middle of the floor waving a casserole dish if his visitor is due any moment?

Why does the spilled casserole splatter everywhere except on his white trousers and white dog?

Why is his visitor a pretty girl who is way out of his league?

Why has she brought him flowers?

Why do they both pose with the mop at the end?

Would this advert persuade anyone (except Nirvana) to buy a speed mop?

I thought I was thinking these questions to myself, but apparently I was asking the telly out loud.




Next advert comes on.

A woman plugs a scent defuser into a wall socket, sinks into a sofa, and almost has an orgasm as the aroma of pine hits her nostrils.

"Enjoy the outdoor freshness of a Glade Plug-In" The voice-over says.

"It's not outdoor freshness, it's chemicals you silly mare" I chunter loudly.

Mrs Red looks up from her book, "Why are you being rude to the television?"


An innocent enough remark, but a bit of a coincidence. You see my golf buddies all jokingly accuse each other of having one or even several undesirable traits, these are usually inspired by some minor slip up or misdemeanor, which is immediately pounced upon and then exaggerated for comic effect.

Example: One unfortunate chap told us he was laying in bed waiting for the plumber and wondering if he would need to get his toolbox out. You can imagine our reaction.

Anyway, obviously unable to find any flaws in my behaviour, they started referring to me as Mr Rude, just to make me feel included.

Mrs Red was unaware of any of this so her remark did strike me as strange.

Then again what does she know? Daft cow. And is it even possible to be rude to a television anyway?

Boat jobs.

Tessa Sanderson is a breath of fresh air - give her Ken Doherty's job!

Yeah, my phone has no optical zoom but I got lucky with that pic.
Normally the egret is very shy and flies away before I can get into phone cam range, but thus time I was just driving out of my gate and he wasn't afraid of me in the car so he just sat there.

It is worth using the digital zoom on your phone cam rather than taking the pic and then cropping it because although digital zoom is essentially just a crop the act of zooming let's the camera know what you are trying to do and the software compensates accordingly.

nice pic. My new phone has a bit of a zoom on it (.5, 1 and 2), so hopefully if I spy any interesting nature when I am out and about, I'll be able to take a better picture than with my previous one.

And what a great excuse to post this pic I took a couple of days ago.

Click to see full-size image.

Incredible isn't it?

I have a small shallow brook that runs past my place. It's about 10 feet wide and in most places somewhere between 6" and 1ft deep. It flows at around walking speed. (I know that because if I throw a twig or something in, it keeps pace with me as I walk along the path.)

I estimated that there would be around three 45 gallon drums worth of water in one of my stride-lengths, that works out at approx 150 gallons of water keeping pace with me, or 150 gallons per second past any given point.

According to my reckoning, (and reckoning isn't my strong point) that's about 12,960,000 gallons per day, just in that lazy little brook.

I can't even begin to guess how much water flows down your river.

https://explore.org/livecams/africam/olifants-river

That is what you call a river in spate.  Can't imagine the volume of water going through.

You would think so wouldn't you Boo.

I found the offending thorn and pulled it out with a pair of pliers. The hole it left was virtually invisible, a tiny pin prick, so I did as you suggest and went with the old hot knife trick. That failed because the sole didn't melt under the hot knife, it just went white and crumbly, like like a perished tire on an old pram.

I scraped the crumbly bit away and re located the hole with some difficulty. Then I tried to force some Gorilla Glue into the tiny opening.

I did a test but as I walked in the mud the boot made a gentle sucking sound, and it wasn't long before I had a wet foot.

I concluded that the thorn hole was too small to get glue into properly so I drilled it out to about 1/16th" and tried again. This time it leaked even worse and when I examined it the glue had actually fallen out.

I read the small print on the glue and it said, "Not suitable for polymer based or oily plastics"

I have a range of glues but they all say the same thing.

I thought about trying a bolt and two large washers but then I decided that if the wellies are £50 a pair and I could average year out of them, it would only cost me £1 per week. Plus if I didn't keep puncturing the same side I could use my spare, thereby cutting the cost down to 50p a week, so that's the way I went.

I'm sure it will even out if I live long enough.

I am sure a man ofyour resourcefulness could find a way to repair your wellies,hot knife,superglue or gorilla tape any good ?