Vegas & The Aftermath - Diary

[tikay]

Think I'm inclined to agree with both of the sensationally portly gentlemen. (Note use of adverb).

It might just be poor reporting by the Journo - that'd be no surprise.

I'll have a shufty on google tonight or tomorrow morning, and see if I can locate further details. Much of it does not add up, including her family (apparently) not noticing she had gone missing for an entire week.

[hhyftrftdr]

On a scale of 1 to 10, how much are you enjoying your evening?

[Pokerpops]

Up until recently I had never heard of a baby shower. The women in my orbit carried on with life until the baby was due, went into hospital, stayed there only until the moment they were allowed to leave, then went back to life as usual.

There was no baby showers, maternity leave, moving to a bigger house, special diets or anything else. It was a palaver free process.

Now the media has convinced women everywhere that they need all that stuff.

Stand on me girls, there's nothing like a good day's hard work followed by a stint in the kitchen to help get your figure back and combat post-natal depression

With heavily pregnant ladies as my cue, a deft change of topic now.

I was reading some Bryson this morning, & his inventive use of adjectives fill me with awe, jealousy & admiration. Generally, he writes pretty well too. How could this not bring a smile?

Iowa women are always sensationally overweight.

He then goes on to explain how, in their shorts & halter top, they remind him of an elephant dressed in children's clothes.   

Too good Mr Bryson, too good.

As you know I haven't read any fiction for years but the other day I was early for a meeting and had an hour to kill.

It was in a building where you have to clear security and collect a visitors tag so going out for a stroll wasn't really worth it; of course I could have strolled before I entered the building but then if there had been any probs with security (as there often is with me) I might have been late .

So I waited in a hospitality suite. It had nice comfy chairs, wifi, and  free tea, coffee and biscuits so waiting wasn't a hardship.

There was a little bookcase, one of those efforts where people leave and take used books, I picked one up and thumbed it idly. 10 minutes later I was firmly hooked.

The thing I had forgotten about good fiction is, 95% of it is fact. Like when the author talks about special forces combat procedures, the workings of a nuclear reactor or explains what happens when a soft-nose bullet enters a human skull, all that stuff is fact, and it's fascinating.

The book is Killing Floor, the first in the Jack Reacher series by Lee Child.

No spoilers please, I haven't finished it yet.

The Reacher stories are proper page turners. Plenty more to get your teeth into after you finish this one.

Reacher is described by Lee Child as
a blond, 6 ft 5 in (1.96 m) tall, 250-pound man.

Played by Tom Cruse in the movies...

[tikay]

On a scale of 1 to 10, how much are you enjoying your evening?

Lordy.

Just the 9 different threads so far.

For those not aware of what Plumpy is alluding to, Next Door have tournament "issues" this evening. Fun evening......

[Magic817]

On a scale of 1 to 10, how much are you enjoying your evening?

Lordy.

Just the 9 different threads so far.

For those not aware of what Plumpy is alluding to, Next Door have tournament "issues" this evening. Fun evening......

It is hard to imagine that all those people happened to start their threads before any others existed. I saw people in chat saying about contacting customer care for an update. It is super frustrating when stuff like that happens but people become very illogical.

[BigAdz]

As a regular to Iowa where my companies is, I can confirm this fact.

I walk down the street most days and can fall in love with 4 or five different women.

On 20+ trips to Iowa it has not happened more than once....

Ps. The man that stood for two day to win the NDPT. Did he bend down each time to look at his cards?!

[RED-DOG]

In a well known card room I was standing to ease my back and was told that I had to be sitting at the table when the cards were dealt otherwise my hand would be dead.

[BigAdz]

In a well known card room I was standing to ease my back and was told that I had to be sitting at the table when the cards were dealt otherwise my hand would be dead.

Yep, all seems very accommodating.

[Karabiner]

Perhaps the geezer was afflicted with a bad case of the Farmer Giles.

[tikay]

My first reaction when I saw him standing was that it was out of order. Once it transpired that he had a bad back, it was accepted at face value.

I'd certainly not want to be sat either side of Stood Up Bloke. It's like when someone stands right behind you at the table to chat to the bloke next to you, it just feels very uncomfortable. I mean, they are almost never peeking at your cards, but it's one of those weird personal space things which messes with your mind.

James Browning, completely innocently, always stood with his face pressed against you when he came to chat. And he chatted a lot, of course. So it was a process of continually backing away to reinstate that personal space thing. He was on that Ladbrokes Cruise thing with me & we got in a heated debate about that Online Poker site he helped run, Poka-Poka, (blonde owned 2.5% of it, along with about 100 others) the convo lasted 2 hours & I ended up doing 3 circuits of the ship backwards.   

It's the same in a lift, have you ever noticed? We stare at the floor, ceiling or the lift buttons - nobody ever makes eye contact in a lift. We also pretend to be using our 'phones, even though we all know full well that 'phones almost never work in a lift.

Click to see full-size image.

 

[RED-DOG]

I look at people, safe in the knowledge that they are avoiding looking at me.

If they do happen to look at me, male or female, I think I've pulled.

[tikay]

As a regular to Iowa where my companies HQ is, I can confirm this fact.

I walk down the street most days and can fall in love with 4 or five different women.

On 20+ trips to Iowa it has not happened more than once....

Ps. The man that stood for two day to win the NDPT. Did he bend down each time to look at his cards?!

Bryson also added......

The teenage daughters of these fat women are always utterly delectable, as soft and gloriously rounded and naturally fresh-smelling like a basket of fruit. I don't know what it is that happens to them, but it must be awful to marry one of those nubile cuties knowing that there is a time-bomb ticking away in her that will at some unknown date will make her bloat out into something huge & grotesque, presumably all of a sudden & without notice, like a self-inflating raft from which the pin has been yanked.

I wonder how long it took Bryson to craft & tweak that sentence?

[tikay]

Ps. The man that stood for two day to win the NDPT. Did he bend down each time to look at his cards?!

That was what struck me as odd. That sort of quarter stoop to place his blinds in, peek at his cards, make a bet etc must have been real uncomfy in itself, especially over a 13 hour period. So I'm pretty sure it was genuine.

[tikay]

It is a little odd how most if us sort of gradually increase in size as we age.

Just imagine, when he was a boy, Vinny was normal size.

[tikay]

All of which might just seem a little sexist in this sensitive age, so for balance.....

Waitrose have been forced to change the name of these, as it was deemed sexist.

Does not take much to cause offence these days, does it?

Click to see full-size image.