Vagueness and the Aftermath - A sporadic diary

[celtic]

Oh, and Hi Tom.

[RED-DOG]

Hi Vin. What's happening with you these days? Where do you live now? What are you doing? How's Archie & the Mrs?

[RED-DOG]

The Honda Cub business could have legs. I could have shifted a dozen of them. The second bloke who rang offered to give me £150 more than I'd advertised it for. Unfortunately, I'd already verbally shaken hands down the telephone withe the first bloke.

If you can pick them up cheap there is definately money to be made on them as they sell for really good prices.

Now you are an experienced Cub mechanic you should be able to turn them round quickly.

I've just done some quick calculations and I've worked out that I earned something in the region of 63p for every hour I spent working on that bike.

It costs about £1.75 per hour in tea and sandwiches to keep me going, so unfortunately, the motorcycle sales & repair business is not the answer to my financial problems.

[RED-DOG]

While we were in India, we stayed in some posh hotels. (well they were posh by our standards anyway). What I don't understand is, how come, as soon as you go upmarket a bit, style takes precedence over functionality.

Look at this hand basin for instance. Instead of having a dish shaped bottom, it has a flat one, which means that not only do you have to put two gallons of water in it to get an inch of depth, but also that you can't pick the soap up without having to chase it around like a demented goldfish.

Click to see full-size image.

[RED-DOG]

Also, all our rooms had at least one glass wall between the bedroom and the bathroom. There was a button on the wall, (one even had a remote control) that you could press to raise an electrically operated blind, thereby allowing unrestricted views of the shower and and toilet.

What the Hell is that all about? Imagine accidentally pressing that button with your elbow while you're wiping your bum.

Click to see full-size image.

Click to see full-size image.

Click to see full-size image.

[RED-DOG]

I originally wrote, "imagine accidentally pressing that button while you were wiping your bum with your elbow" but actually, that would be worth seeing.

[RED-DOG]

So for anyone who wants to teach their dog to drop the ball on command, here's what you do. (Warning, this is not a quick fix, it takes weeks of patient practice, if you're not really bothered or don't actually enjoy training your dog, don't attempt it)

OK, first of all we need to reward the dog for behaving in the way we want it to, but we don't want the ball to be part of the equation any longer. We don't want the dog to drop the ball in anticipation of having it thrown again as a reward, and we don't seem and him to hang on to it in anticipation of a possession type game. What we want him to do is associate holding something, or letting it go on command, with a reward.

Now, let's talk for a moment about what constitutes a reward. Some people like to use food but I think there are too many draw backs. For a lot of dogs, the knowledge that there is food involved is so distracting that they can't concentrate on the task in hand. The other problem with food as a reward is that it isn't always available, and it plays havoc with your dogs diet. And lastly, for me at least, I want my dog to obey me because he wants to please me, not because I'm going to give him a choc drop.

The best reward is to show him how pleased you are that he did what you asked him to do when you asked him to do it. If that happens, especially for the first few times when he's learning something new, and even if it happens by accident, make the biggest fuss of him he's ever seen. I mean really go overboard. Praise him to high Heaven, fuss him, roll around on the floor with him or whatever, just let him know that you are chuffed to bits and he is the best dog in the world. Then, end the lesson. There will be time for repetitive stuff later, when he knows exactly what you want and is keen to comply. For the moment, just grab the opportunity to end on a good note with him being the hero.

Now for the actual mechanics of teaching him to drop something, as I said, it's better to get away from the whole ball thing initially. Choose something totally different. (A small wooden dumbbell or a six inch section of broom handle is ideal)

Put your dog on a lead and get him to sit facing you. (if he won't go on a lead or sit facing you you need to teach those thing first) Offer him the dumbell with a pleasant but firm command, "hold". Elongate the word to make it stand out "Hollld".

Some dogs will take the dumbell willingly. If your lucky enough to have one of those, thank your lucky stars, make a huge fuss if your dog and finish for the day. If, as is more likely, he just looks at you as if you have gone barmy, use one hand to gently open his mouth by pressing his lips against his teeth, and then carefully insert the dumbell with the other hand. Hold the dumbell in place for a few seconds, then do the huge fuss thing and finish.


Eventually, and sooner rather than later if you get your fuss timing right, he will start to take the dumbell on command. Remember, even if he just slackens his jaw in anticipation of you shoving the dumbbell in, he is going in the right direction, praise him well.

Once you have the him holding on to the dumbell on command, reverse the process. Get him to sit in front of you on his lead, holding the dumbell, give the command "Drooopp" and press his lips gently against his teeth with one hand while taking the dumbell with the other. Massive praise etc etc.


When you have this lesson down pat you can give him different objects to hold and drop. Eventually, you can even progress to that ball.


If you do it properly, everything you teach your dog will make the next thing easier. Well trained dogs be come serial learners because they understand how the game works. They work out what you want by your tone and mannerisms in a cold... warmer....warmer.... hot fashion.

If you think this seems like a lot of hard work, you're right, it is. If you enjoy the process it's wonderful.

[RED-DOG]

Firstly, I love this advert. It's just so delightfully whimsical.


Second, why doesn't Barry the Biscuit Boy's mam make a new, handsome young head for his dad?

[RED-DOG]

Must learn to treat these two impostors just the same.

[TightEnd]

So for anyone who wants to teach their dog to drop the ball on command, here's what you do. (Warning, this is not a quick fix, it takes weeks of patient practice, if you're not really bothered or don't actually enjoy training your dog, don't attempt it)

OK, first of all we need to reward the dog for behaving in the way we want it to, but we don't want the ball to be part of the equation any longer. We don't want the dog to drop the ball in anticipation of having it thrown again as a reward, and we don't seem and him to hang on to it in anticipation of a possession type game. What we want him to do is associate holding something, or letting it go on command, with a reward.

Now, let's talk for a moment about what constitutes a reward. Some people like to use food but I think there are too many draw backs. For a lot of dogs, the knowledge that there is food involved is so distracting that they can't concentrate on the task in hand. The other problem with food as a reward is that it isn't always available, and it plays havoc with your dogs diet. And lastly, for me at least, I want my dog to obey me because he wants to please me, not because I'm going to give him a choc drop.

The best reward is to show him how pleased you are that he did what you asked him to do when you asked him to do it. If that happens, especially for the first few times when he's learning something new, and even if it happens by accident, make the biggest fuss of him he's ever seen. I mean really go overboard. Praise him to high Heaven, fuss him, roll around on the floor with him or whatever, just let him know that you are chuffed to bits and he is the best dog in the world. Then, end the lesson. There will be time for repetitive stuff later, when he knows exactly what you want and is keen to comply. For the moment, just grab the opportunity to end on a good note with him being the hero.

Now for the actual mechanics of teaching him to drop something, as I said, it's better to get away from the whole ball thing initially. Choose something totally different. (A small wooden dumbbell or a six inch section of broom handle is ideal)

Put your dog on a lead and get him to sit facing you. (if he won't go on a lead or sit facing you you need to teach those thing first) Offer him the dumbell with a pleasant but firm command, "hold". Elongate the word to make it stand out "Hollld".

Some dogs will take the dumbell willingly. If your lucky enough to have one of those, thank your lucky stars, make a huge fuss if your dog and finish for the day. If, as is more likely, he just looks at you as if you have gone barmy, use one hand to gently open his mouth by pressing his lips against his teeth, and then carefully insert the dumbell with the other hand. Hold the dumbell in place for a few seconds, then do the huge fuss thing and finish.


Eventually, and sooner rather than later if you get your fuss timing right, he will start to take the dumbell on command. Remember, even if he just slackens his jaw in anticipation of you shoving the dumbbell in, he is going in the right direction, praise him well.

Once you have the him holding on to the dumbell on command, reverse the process. Get him to sit in front of you on his lead, holding the dumbell, give the command "Drooopp" and press his lips gently against his teeth with one hand while taking the dumbell with the other. Massive praise etc etc.


When you have this lesson down pat you can give him different objects to hold and drop. Eventually, you can even progress to that ball.


If you do it properly, everything you teach your dog will make the next thing easier. Well trained dogs be come serial learners because they understand how the game works. They work out what you want by your tone and mannerisms in a cold... warmer....warmer.... hot fashion.

If you think this seems like a lot of hard work, you're right, it is. If you enjoy the process it's wonderful.

OK Thank you

Cover me,I am going in. With a toy bone.

[tikay]

Firstly, I love this advert. It's just so delightfully whimsical.


Second, why doesn't Barry the Biscuit Boy's mam make a new, handsome young head for his dad?

You do watch some poo, Tom.

If the heads of children interest you, this is the way to go.

Click to see full-size image.

[RED-DOG]

That's just childish.

[david3103]

Good stuff on the dog training front Tom. Thanks.

[RED-DOG]

So for anyone who wants to teach their dog to drop the ball on command, here's what you do. (Warning, this is not a quick fix, it takes weeks of patient practice, if you're not really bothered or don't actually enjoy training your dog, don't attempt it)

OK, first of all we need to reward the dog for behaving in the way we want it to, but we don't want the ball to be part of the equation any longer. We don't want the dog to drop the ball in anticipation of having it thrown again as a reward, and we don't seem and him to hang on to it in anticipation of a possession type game. What we want him to do is associate holding something, or letting it go on command, with a reward.

Now, let's talk for a moment about what constitutes a reward. Some people like to use food but I think there are too many draw backs. For a lot of dogs, the knowledge that there is food involved is so distracting that they can't concentrate on the task in hand. The other problem with food as a reward is that it isn't always available, and it plays havoc with your dogs diet. And lastly, for me at least, I want my dog to obey me because he wants to please me, not because I'm going to give him a choc drop.

The best reward is to show him how pleased you are that he did what you asked him to do when you asked him to do it. If that happens, especially for the first few times when he's learning something new, and even if it happens by accident, make the biggest fuss of him he's ever seen. I mean really go overboard. Praise him to high Heaven, fuss him, roll around on the floor with him or whatever, just let him know that you are chuffed to bits and he is the best dog in the world. Then, end the lesson. There will be time for repetitive stuff later, when he knows exactly what you want and is keen to comply. For the moment, just grab the opportunity to end on a good note with him being the hero.

Now for the actual mechanics of teaching him to drop something, as I said, it's better to get away from the whole ball thing initially. Choose something totally different. (A small wooden dumbbell or a six inch section of broom handle is ideal)

Put your dog on a lead and get him to sit facing you. (if he won't go on a lead or sit facing you you need to teach those thing first) Offer him the dumbell with a pleasant but firm command, "hold". Elongate the word to make it stand out "Hollld".

Some dogs will take the dumbell willingly. If your lucky enough to have one of those, thank your lucky stars, make a huge fuss if your dog and finish for the day. If, as is more likely, he just looks at you as if you have gone barmy, use one hand to gently open his mouth by pressing his lips against his teeth, and then carefully insert the dumbell with the other hand. Hold the dumbell in place for a few seconds, then do the huge fuss thing and finish.


Eventually, and sooner rather than later if you get your fuss timing right, he will start to take the dumbell on command. Remember, even if he just slackens his jaw in anticipation of you shoving the dumbbell in, he is going in the right direction, praise him well.

Once you have the him holding on to the dumbell on command, reverse the process. Get him to sit in front of you on his lead, holding the dumbell, give the command "Drooopp" and press his lips gently against his teeth with one hand while taking the dumbell with the other. Massive praise etc etc.


When you have this lesson down pat you can give him different objects to hold and drop. Eventually, you can even progress to that ball.


If you do it properly, everything you teach your dog will make the next thing easier. Well trained dogs be come serial learners because they understand how the game works. They work out what you want by your tone and mannerisms in a cold... warmer....warmer.... hot fashion.

If you think this seems like a lot of hard work, you're right, it is. If you enjoy the process it's wonderful.

OK Thank you

Cover me,I am going in. With a toy bone.

Whoa Rich! Is the rubber bone a familiar chew / tug / throw / squeak toy? It needs to be a neutral item with no connections to previous games.

[TightEnd]

ok gotcha

cut off old broom handle then