Vagueness and the Aftermath - A sporadic diary

[TightEnd]

Mr Red

My slumbers are being affected nightly by the sound of copulating foxes. I gather it is mating season

I am told that copulation is particularly painful for the female as and i quote

"The penis of male felids is covered in small, backward-facing barbs, which rake the walls of the vagina when the penis is withdrawn, causing pain to the female at this point"

which sort of takes this diary in a different direction

anyway, to my point (adopts gangster voice) what can i do to move them along, legally.....

anything they don't like to smell?

[RED-DOG]

Mr Red

My slumbers are being affected nightly by the sound of copulating foxes. I gather it is mating season

I am told that copulation is particularly painful for the female as and i quote

"The penis of male felids is covered in small, backward-facing barbs, which rake the walls of the vagina when the penis is withdrawn, causing pain to the female at this point"

which sort of takes this diary in a different direction

anyway, to my point (adopts gangster voice) what can i do to move them along, legally.....

anything they don't like to smell?

Yeah, you can buy smelly stuff that they don't like but it won't drive them far enough away to prevent you from hearing them and bear in mind your dogs won't like it either.

My advice would be to embrace it as a part of nature. Buy some night vision glasses and some popcorn.

[RED-DOG]

Instant Karma.



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U5NY168-gb4

[RED-DOG]

Banners.

There is a house keeping thread in the mod's room with this one word title.

Whenever I see the word 'Banners' in isolation I always think of a department store that stood on the junction of Staniforth Rd and Attercliffe Rd in Sheffield.

Looking back, I now realise that it was a just a cheap discount store but for me as a little boy it was like Harrods.

Everyone for miles around knew Banners. It was a like our version of the clock in Grand Central Station.

From the stop at Banners it cost 2p to ride the number 52 bus to the city center or 4p on the 74 to go to Rotherham.

As I got older, I used to meet friends there and we would travel to East to Rotherham swimming baths or West to Faulkner's Billiard and Snooker hall.

"I'll meet you outside Banners at seven"

I've lost count of the number of times I've been stood up there and consoled myself by going inside and spending my girl entertaining money on a chip butty and a hot Horlicks in their optimistically titled 'Restaurant'.

Happy days.

Click to see full-size image.

[RED-DOG]

This one was before my time. Just.

Click to see full-size image.

[RED-DOG]

Not many shops have one of these now.

[RED-DOG]

I've lost count of the number of times I've been stood up there and consoled myself by going inside and spending my girl entertaining money on a chip butty and a hot Horlicks in their optimistically titled 'Restaurant'.

Thinking about it, I don't suppose telling a girl to meet you there without her actually agreeing to it counts as being stood up.

[GreekStein]

Hi Red,

My question the other day on your thread was a geniune one just misplaced so I'll try again here incase it's something you've heard before.

My dog gets sick in the car. Begins heavy breathing after just a few minutes and is usually sick (actually throws up) for journeys of any longer than 5 minutes. What would you do?

Taking him on a bike etc is not an option.

Cheers

[RED-DOG]

Hi Red,

My question the other day on your thread was a geniune one just misplaced so I'll try again here incase it's something you've heard before.

My dog gets sick in the car. Begins heavy breathing after just a few minutes and is usually sick (actually throws up) for journeys of any longer than 5 minutes. What would you do?

Taking him on a bike etc is not an option.

Cheers

Sorry Cos. I though you were joking.

Car sickness in dogs is usually fairly easy  to cure but it is a bit time consuming.

First of all the car needs to become a place he likes to be, a place where nice things happen. The best way to achieve this is to get into  car with him and make a bit if a fuss of him for about 30 seconds and then get out and carry on with your day. Gradually increase the time he is happy to stay in there with you but don't force it. Aim to stop before you see any heavy breathing, drooling or other signs of distress.

Once you have him comfortable for two or three minutes, begin starting the car while he's in it. Then progress to moving it a few yards etc. You can see where this is going.

Make going in the car a prelude to something he enjoys. Time it so that he gets out and has his dinner or goes for a nice walk. It's really just a case of removing any anxieties he may have and slowly building up his tolerance to motion.

[GreekStein]

Hi Red,

My question the other day on your thread was a geniune one just misplaced so I'll try again here incase it's something you've heard before.

My dog gets sick in the car. Begins heavy breathing after just a few minutes and is usually sick (actually throws up) for journeys of any longer than 5 minutes. What would you do?

Taking him on a bike etc is not an option.

Cheers

Sorry Cos. I though you were joking.

Car sickness in dogs is usually fairly easy  to cure but it is a bit time consuming.

First of all the car needs to become a place he likes to be, a place where nice things happen. The best way to achieve this is to get into  car with him and make a bit if a fuss of him for about 30 seconds and then get out and carry on with your day. Gradually increase the time he is happy to stay in there with you but don't force it. Aim to stop before you see any heavy breathing, drooling or other signs of distress.

Once you have him comfortable for two or three minutes, begin starting the car while he's in it. Then progress to moving it a few yards etc. You can see where this is going.

Make going in the car a prelude to something he enjoys. Time it so that he gets out and has his dinner or goes for a nice walk. It's really just a case of removing any anxieties he may have and slowly building up his tolerance to motion.

Ok cheers Tom!

Will give it a shot!

[Mohican]

Can your dog see where he his going in the car(ie out of the window)?

[Mohican]

Thought you might appreciate this Red-

[RED-DOG]

Thought you might appreciate this Red-

Beautiful! I did appreciate it. Thank you.

Did you notice that there was not a nail or a screw in sight? Just mortise and tenon joints.

[Rod Paradise]

Thought you might appreciate this Red-

Beautiful! I did appreciate it. Thank you.

Did you notice that there was not a nail or a screw in sight? Just mortise and tenon joints.

THat was a brilliant bit of construction.

One of my 'one day I'll try that' is I'd love to try a bodging course - working the pole lathe.

[RED-DOG]

A dentist pays $50k to go on a hunt where he shoots and wounds a lion with a crossbow. It takes a further 40 hours to track down the lion and put it out of it's misery.

I hope social media has it's way and his business is ruined. At least that might stop him from financing any more big game hunts.





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