Vagueness and the Aftermath - A sporadic diary

[RED-DOG]

I'd like to see just how much gun gum and baked bean cans the exhaust would take.

Alas those days are gone Mr L.

I remember with fondness the time when exhaust systems were substantial enough to withstand the ministrations of a welder, unfortunately today's offerings are about a tough as wet tissue paper.

I'm just thankful that mine doesn't have a cat, and if it wasn't illegal I would remove the particulate filter and have the system re mapped. cough.

  

I'm sure someone with a better memory than I have will correct me, but not sure that we've ever seen the word ministrations previously used here in what is now blonde's 16th year. If we have, I've forgotten it. To be fair, I don't read some threads. (Official Movie & TV Show threads for example).

You get a Bonus Point for that.

If you get a big enough welder you can do maxistrations.

[RED-DOG]

Horrifying and fascinating.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-49294861

[engy]

Hi Tom, I just love how you can post a photo. I say bike? and you come up with a great story to go with it. You do this regularly, love the way you and Tikay both write about your lives. Think you both have a great book in yourselves.

[RED-DOG]

Hi Tom, I just love how you can post a photo. I say bike? and you come up with a great story to go with it. You do this regularly, love the way you and Tikay both write about your lives. Think you both have a great book in yourselves.

Well I'm a bit embarrassed by that but thank you all the same. I can't tell you how much I appreciate it.

Some years ago I did think I could write nicely, but I seem to have lost it now. You need confidence to write and mine is shot to bits.

Writing doesn't come easily to me, so I might spend say, an hour on a short piece before I'm anything like satisfied with it, then after I post it I sit back and watch the tumbleweed blow across the page.

It's very disheartening, but I think to myself, if it isn't good or interesting enough to elicit comment then fair enough, I have no grounds to grumble. Must do better and all that.

I have to say though, almost every day I see excellent pieces by the usual suspects like Tal, tikay and Tightend, or abrasive stuff by Mantis, Adz, Woodsey etc, (because they're part of an argument, no one notices how eloquent they are) then there's an absolute host of terrific posts by occasional contributors, Geo the Sarge, Longines, The Sicilian, Karabiner and maybe a dozen others, all just lying around the forum like roadside flowers, beautiful, but unnoticed and unloved.


 

[tikay]

^^^^

Cracking post, Tom.

[Karabiner]

^^^^

Cracking post, Tom.

Didn't you used to have a diary too?

[RED-DOG]

Nirvana!

Have to mention him by name. One of my all time faves.

[RED-DOG]

A Tourette's syndrome charity has criticised a joke that won a top award at this year's Edinburgh Festival and demanded an apology.

The one-liner, from Swedish surrealist Olaf Falafel won the award for Dave's Funniest Joke At The Fringe, and contained a pun about vegetables.

It was: "I keep randomly shouting out 'broccoli' and 'cauliflower' - I think I might have florets."



I wonder if your immediate reaction to the tourette's syndrome charity was the same as mine?

[engy]

Agree with Tikay cracking post. As he often says people read the posts but don't comment much, I'm guilty of that. I love reading the politics thread in the Lounge but never comment as I don't feel confident or qualified enough in my knowledge of it all. The posters you mention all post there and make it a brilliant read. Same when Arboy posts on any betting thread. His knowledge of the betting game is superb, shame he doesn't post as much anymore.

[RED-DOG]

Remember we were talking about sticky buds? Well I saw these today. I don't know what they're called but they are the dogs sticky bud bollocks.

Get a handful of these babies rubbed into your hair and it's crew-cut time.

I know, I was that soldier...

Click to see full-size image.

[RED-DOG]

^^^^

Cracking post, Tom.

Thank you. I moaned it in.

(I'm not going to even countenance the possibility that you could be taking the piss.  

[Kev B]

Remember we were talking about sticky buds? Well I saw these today. I don't know what they're called but they are the dogs sticky bud bollocks.

Get a handful of these babies rubbed into your hair and it's crew-cut time.

I know, I was that soldier...

Click to see full-size image.

Sticky bud childhood memories. Free fun. I can't believe the Tourette's syndrome charity found that offensive. There are some great vids on youtube of an Irish lad with Tourette's making funny films to create awareness of the condition. PC gone mad IMO.

[Pokerpops]

A Tourette's syndrome charity has criticised a joke that won a top award at this year's Edinburgh Festival and demanded an apology.

The one-liner, from Swedish surrealist Olaf Falafel won the award for Dave's Funniest Joke At The Fringe, and contained a pun about vegetables.

It was: "I keep randomly shouting out 'broccoli' and 'cauliflower' - I think I might have florets."



I wonder if your immediate reaction to the tourette's syndrome charity was the same as mine?

Muppets!

[nirvana]

^^^^

Cracking post, Tom.

Yes, and it's a really good point. I read every post you write in here - invariably smile or learn something and acknowledge rarely - Booder is good at acknowledging stuff- we should all be more like Boo

[RED-DOG]

I enjoy mending things, but I also enjoy moaning about doing it. I suppose it's a bit like poker players and bad beat stories.

Still, I wouldn't dream of boring you to death with the minutiae of my mend and make do existance... Unless of course someone were to choose a specific picture and ask for more information, then it would be my public duty.

The bottom photo please. It's a red something - either a lawn mower or a coffee machine at a guess.

         

         ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
In 10 years he has never missed a chance.



I used to have a ride-on lawnmower. She was a Hayter, she was green, she was hydrostatic, she had a 16 HP Briggs & Stratton v twin and she it was beyond doubt the most cantankerous, frustrating piece of machinery ever invented.

Click to see full-size image.

During the summer months once a week she and I used to cut my grass, which meant that once a week, before she it would do my bidding, I had to mend her.

Well I say mend her but that doesn't accurately describe the processes. Sure, I had to attend to some or other mechanical issue, (often several) but I also had to coax her and fanny about with her, alternately swearing and pleading as I primed her carburettor, adjusted her air screws and re-set the gap in her spark plugs.

Finally, when she was satisfied with my ministrations she would roar into life and perform faultlessly, cutting and mulching the grass like it was all she ever wanted to do, then I would park her in the shed and she would purr contentedly until I switched off the engine.

The following week the whole process would start again....

We went on like that for years that bloody mower and me, arguing and fighting like an old married couple, but always getting the job done. I even used to write about our weekly spats on here, if my fingers weren't to sore to type that is. Then came that one fateful day when, like many a good man before me, my head was turned by a younger, sexier model.

Click to see full-size image.

I was smitten. She had all the right curves in all the right places, she was young, she was fast, she was nice to handle, she was available and she was cheap. It's a story as old as time. I didn't stand a chance.

I got rid of the Hayter and moved the new girl in.

Proudly I posted a pic of her on here. I expected praise but tikay launched right into me. "Aww.. your poor old mower. Have you no heart? After all you've been through together. Mark my words, you'll regret it."

Now tikay may not be the world's greatest mechanic, I don't think he knows his laughing shaft from his giggling pin but he does understand about the relationship that sometimes forms between a man and a piece of machinery when they work together and depend on each other. (I think he inherited it from his dad or his grandad).

Whatever the case, he was right. I did regret it, but took me a while to realise it, and even longer to admit it.

To be continued...