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Author Topic: Vagueness and the Aftermath - A sporadic diary  (Read 3587096 times)
RED-DOG
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« Reply #32685 on: July 28, 2020, 05:29:02 PM »

I was listening to a thing on the wireless about parrots suddenly saying things they had never said before.

This one bloke told us about a parrot he'd had for donkeys years that one day just keeled over and lay motionless at the bottom of it's cage.

The bloke took it out and laid it on the table. Noticing that it was still breathing he poured a spot of brandy into those little nostril-hole things on the top of it's beak.

The parrot opened it's eyes, raised it's head a couple of inches off the table and in a thin reedy voice said, "Thank you" before promptly expiring.

Is it just me or is anyone else filling up?

I wonder if it was a sarcastic thank you?



Another bloke said he bought a parrot that knew loads of phrases. He hadn't owned it long when the house across the way was burgled. The police came round doing routine enquiries to find out if any of the neighbours had seen anything. As soon as it saw the officers in uniform the parrot started shouting, "Help! I am a stolen parrot, call the police".
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booder
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« Reply #32686 on: August 01, 2020, 12:21:33 PM »

Happy Yorkshire Day

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Quote from: action man
im not speculating, either, but id have been pretty peeved if i missed the thread and i ended up getting clipped, kindly accepting a lift home.

In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.
Martin Luther King Jr
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« Reply #32687 on: August 01, 2020, 12:37:38 PM »

Thanks Boo.

My mate asked me what's so special about Yorkshire.

We are no longer friends, I can't cope with that level of stupidity.
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« Reply #32688 on: August 05, 2020, 03:10:01 PM »

Quiz time.

Why should you never write, "You name will be mud?"
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simonnatur
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« Reply #32689 on: August 07, 2020, 04:15:54 PM »

Thanks Boo.

My mate asked me what's so special about Yorkshire.

We are no longer friends, I can't cope with that level of stupidity.

I happened to watch an episode of the motorbike show last night which might appeal to you - it did a good job of selling Yorksire as a biking destination - on a modern Norton on a route through Otley I think
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« Reply #32690 on: August 07, 2020, 08:19:09 PM »

Thanks Boo.

My mate asked me what's so special about Yorkshire.

We are no longer friends, I can't cope with that level of stupidity.

I happened to watch an episode of the motorbike show last night which might appeal to you - it did a good job of selling Yorksire as a biking destination - on a modern Norton on a route through Otley I think


Yorkshire is a great destination for most things.
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« Reply #32691 on: August 07, 2020, 08:19:27 PM »

 Click to see full-size image.
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« Reply #32692 on: August 12, 2020, 04:43:55 PM »

Quiz time.

Why should you never write, "You name will be mud?"

When is reveal time?

Is it to do with the statement "You name will be mud" or is it to do with the question mark being inside the speechy quote type things?
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Motivational speeches at their best:

"Because thats what living is, the 6 inches in front of your face......" - Patrick Leonard - 10th May 2015
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« Reply #32693 on: August 12, 2020, 05:10:54 PM »

Quiz time.

Why should you never write, "You name will be mud?"

When is reveal time?

Is it to do with the statement "You name will be mud" or is it to do with the question mark being inside the speechy quote type things?


None of these things. I have to admit that I've been doing it wrong all my life too.

I will give you the word assassination as a clue.
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RED-DOG
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« Reply #32694 on: August 14, 2020, 09:18:21 PM »

John Wilkes Booth was an American stage actor who shot President Abraham Lincoln in Ford's theatre in Washington.

After doing the deed Booth made his escape by jumping from the presidential box down to the stalls below, breaking his leg in the process.

Broken leg notwithstanding Booth, with the aid of an accomplice, made it outside to where two horses were waiting and the pair galloped off into the sunset.

They rode all day and well in to the night until Boot's leg became so painful he could go no further, so they called upon an unsuspecting country doctor who set Booth's leg, administered pain relief and provided them with board and shelter.

24 hours later, the Doctor learned of the assassination and reported the incident with the men to the authorities.

The authorities didn't believe he had no prior knowledge and linked him to the crime.

Narrowly avoiding the death penalty he was sentenced to life in prison

The Doctor's name was Samuel Mudd.

So, when you write Your name will be mud, you should use an upper case M and add an extra d.
« Last Edit: August 14, 2020, 09:32:11 PM by RED-DOG » Logged

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Rod Paradise
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« Reply #32695 on: August 15, 2020, 11:48:39 AM »

John Wilkes Booth was an American stage actor who shot President Abraham Lincoln in Ford's theatre in Washington.

After doing the deed Booth made his escape by jumping from the presidential box down to the stalls below, breaking his leg in the process.

Broken leg notwithstanding Booth, with the aid of an accomplice, made it outside to where two horses were waiting and the pair galloped off into the sunset.

They rode all day and well in to the night until Boot's leg became so painful he could go no further, so they called upon an unsuspecting country doctor who set Booth's leg, administered pain relief and provided them with board and shelter.

24 hours later, the Doctor learned of the assassination and reported the incident with the men to the authorities.

The authorities didn't believe he had no prior knowledge and linked him to the crime.

Narrowly avoiding the death penalty he was sentenced to life in prison

The Doctor's name was Samuel Mudd.

So, when you write Your name will be mud, you should use an upper case M and add an extra d.

Liking that one Red  - brilliant bit of info.
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« Reply #32696 on: August 17, 2020, 03:19:53 PM »

He was asking for it imo

To supplement his income from his medical practice, Mudd became a small scale tobacco grower, using five slaves according to the 1860 census.[5] Mudd believed that slavery was divinely ordained and wrote a letter to the theologian Orestes Brownson to that effect


https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Samuel_Mudd
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« Reply #32697 on: August 17, 2020, 03:29:57 PM »

He was asking for it imo

To supplement his income from his medical practice, Mudd became a small scale tobacco grower, using five slaves according to the 1860 census.[5] Mudd believed that slavery was divinely ordained and wrote a letter to the theologian Orestes Brownson to that effect


https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Samuel_Mudd

Tosser.
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« Reply #32698 on: August 19, 2020, 04:33:26 PM »

The difference between money and time.

You always know how much money you have.
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« Reply #32699 on: August 23, 2020, 07:55:05 AM »

Things I heard about on the radio.



Most sea monster photographs actually turn out to be the penis the gray whale, which the male waves around to prove to the female that he is fit and healthy.


 Click to see full-size image.
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