Vagueness and the Aftermath - A sporadic diary

[RED-DOG]

A few people have enquired as to why I haven't updated my diary for a while. One or two of those enquiries came from very unlikely sources. In fact, they were so unlikely that I can't help but suspect that they were "Put up to it".

I have a whole plethora of reasons for not updating, mostly beginning with the letter "i"  (Idleness, incompetence and insecurity to name but three)

Over the last few weeks (Since GUKPT Blackpool) I've sort of taken a step back and re-evaluated some things. My relationship with blonde, my poker, my private life etc, and I came to the conclusion that I was labouring under a misapprehension. Somehow, it seemed to me, I had developed an over-inflated opinion of myself, so I sat myself down and told myself a few home truths.

Afterwards, I felt much better. It was like removing a mask and saying, "Look, it's only me."  I found it difficult to post on my diary though, and the longer I left it, the more difficult it became. The life and times of the newly deflated Red Dog just seem very pedestrian, and the scope of my knowledge so limited. Don't get me wrong, life seems just as full of wonder and excitement from my side of the optic nerve, but at the same time so dull and uninspiring for potential diary readers.

During my hiatus, I've been on a little voyage of self discovery. What I found reminded me of a Ford Escort 1100 Mk1 to which someone had added twin fiberglass aerials, front and rear spoilers, faux leopard skin bucket seats, a modified exhaust, go-faster stripes and fluffy dice. All well and good, it may fool a few people for a while, but underneath all the pretence, it's still just an Escort 1100 mk1.

There is nothing at all wrong with a Ford Escort 1100 mk1, except when you try to pretend it's a Ferarri.

I've got the socket set out, and I'm in the process of unbolting the fake bits.

 

[tikay]

".....life seems just as full of wonder and excitement from my side of the optic nerve, but at the same time so dull and uninspiring for potential diary readers....."

Please let us be the judge of that, Ford Escort Man. If we don't enjoy your musings, we won't read them.

Almost to a man, we adore those lovely tales you tell, & especially the way you tell them.

No rush, just come back when you are ready. We can wait.

[tikay]

It's those little, taken for granted, wonders of nature I like best in your Diary, Tom.

A photograph of a weed, growing out of inhospitable concrete, says so much, & I can still see it in my minds eye. And I see it everywhere I go now. But never before.

[kinboshi]

Get writing again you oaf!!

[Colchester Kev]

yeah, stop being a fanny and get on with it ffs.

[doubleup]

I've got the socket set out, and I'm in the process of unbolting the fake bits.

 

Fake bits keep a lot of people sane, so I don't see much harm in them

[bookiebasher]

wot kev said !!

[Dingdell]

How is your dad's project of a grinding bike thingymajig going?

[tikay]

How is your dad's project of a grinding bike thingymajig going?

Ooh, clever Post by Ding!

He won't be able to resist answering that.

[AndrewT]

How is your dad's project of a grinding bike thingymajig going?

Ooh, clever Post by Ding!

He won't be able to resist answering that.

If a gentleman has a period of frenetic activity but then is unable to perform, it would appear she does just the right thing to be able to get them going again.

[dik9]

During my hiatus, I've been on a little voyage of self discovery. What I found reminded me of a Ford Escort 1100 Mk1 to which someone had added twin fiberglass aerials, front and rear spoilers, faux leopard skin bucket seats, a modified exhaust, go-faster stripes and fluffy dice. All well and good, it may fool a few people for a while, but underneath all the pretence, it's still just an Escort 1100 mk1.

There is nothing at all wrong with a Ford Escort 1100 mk1, except when you try to pretend it's a Ferarri.

I've got the socket set out, and I'm in the process of unbolting the fake bits.

 

Forget the cosmetic modifications, you it may be a bangor on the outside, but it's under the hood that counts. Just change the engine



You are certainly not incompetent, you should not be insecure, your writing is fantastic but can't think of anything to say about idleness, pull ya bloody finger out!!

[RED-DOG]

How is your dad's project of a grinding bike thingymajig going?

Ooh, clever Post by Ding!

He won't be able to resist answering that.

I refuse to be sidetracked by Ding on a bike.

I want to talk about the massive turnout at GUKPT Blackpool, and how hard the staff worked.

I want to ask why they couldn't start a comp on time, make consistent rulings, or impose penalties.

I want to talk about staking and ask, is it right for me?

I want to talk about Brighton, the buffet, and "That Man"

I want to talk about DTD, the anniversary week festival, the new schedule, and the alarming number of employees (Mostly female) that I have a crush on.

I would appreciate your comments on any of this stuff, because I'm struggling to get started.

In the meanwhile, I will tell you about the grinding bike. (I'm so weak)

[RED-DOG]

This is the bike that my dad is in the process of converting. It's an ex police Raleigh circa 1940 obtained by my brother Tracy in mysterious circumstances at this year's summer horse fair at Stow-on-the-Wold

It's absolutely authentic and original, exactly the type of bike that would have been used for this purpose.

Note the upright seating position that allows you to pedal comfortably while leaving your hands free, and what about that externally sprung leather saddle? No padding whatsoever, but once it had molded itself to your arse, it was so much more comfortable than anything you can buy today.

Note also handlebar shape, rod brakes, front hub dynamo, chain guard and mudguards.

It is superior to todays modern bikes in every way except one, it's weight is equivalent to that of a baby elephant. I once crashed one of these into a cement lorry and the cement lorry came off worst.

Click to see full-size image.

[RED-DOG]

This pic shows the clamp that's used to hold the grindstone in place. It consits of a couple of strips of 1/4in steel plate that is heated up, bent into shape, and then drilled.

Click to see full-size image.

[Redsgirl]

"ive got the socket set out, and im in the process of removing the fake bits"

I knew it! I just KNEW that wasnt a real tash!






Seriously though Dad, I dont know whats brought all this on but its slightly worrying.

If your a fake youve had me fooled for about thirty years!

I think ill put it down to your "artistic temprement" you creative types are all the same.
(we'll tell people your Bi Polar, Its the in thing at the moment)

So pull yourself together man, and tell us something, anything, it dosent realy matter what it is, its the way you see it that makes it special

put the spanners (and the microscope) away now and get on with what your good at xx



P.S for Xmas I think ill buy you one of those horns that goes "diddle der der diddle diddle der der der der!