High Desert State Prison, Sunday
It started like any other day. Up early, preparing Master's breakfast, laying out his clothes and doing deals with security staff to ensure he could get into the media centre at 4.30am to "work"
Except upon waking, I soon realised this was to be different
"Morning Jeeves, Road trip"
Despite an inner sense of dread, i was professional as ever
"Yes sir, shall I prepare a picnic and buy some China and cutlery sir? White tablecloth?"
"No need Jeeves. Hre us a cheap discreet car and we will head into the mountains, do some sight-seeing. A day off Poker. A day off Sky Poker, seems to be doing fine without me, analysis by people who can really fill five hours talking nonsense, look and learn Adrian Chiles, Jeeves"
I felt like asking Master if he could punctuate his sentences verbally, such was the torrent of excitement his words seemed to evoke in him
I set to work, asking the concierge downstairs to hire us a Ford Anglia, Austin Allegro or Sunbeam Alpine (
or equivalent, the concierge insisted) for 9am and then buying supplies for the day
- travel blanket. Quite tough to find in Las Vegas in summer
- Factor 200 sun-cream
- Pop up sunglasses
- Beetroot smoothies
- shotgun. just in case
We set off for the front of the hotel on time, and on arrival outside searched for our car. Nothing looked like it was booked for us.
"where's my Morris 1100 Jeeves?"
His bottom lip began to jut out
"not that easy in Vegas sir" and as the Enterprise rent-a-car lady bounded up to us i realised that she had delivered the next best thing
Discreet, and gleaming
After securing the lady's number for future endeavours we departed, hood down the wind whistling in my Master's hair as we drove out of Vegas on I-15 headed for Mount Charleston.
On arrival, and after less than 5 minutes of looking around, Master decided he had had enough
"Drones, Jeeves"
"Yes I know sir, you do" I replied without thinking, a rare lapse in my professionalism
I didn't look across at my master, but could feel his eyes buring into the side of my head
"Creech US Air Force Base, Jeeves. Drones"
"Quite sir" I replied hiding the boredom that I was already beginning to feel "how exciting"
Half an hour later were outside the base
"Top secret military installation" read the sign, which Master took a photograph of, close up
Soon after, whirring through the air came the drones, and Master snapped each one, jumping up and down excitedly as he wrote notes in his small notebook.
"Jeeves Jeeves JEEVES" he shouted as I reclined in the front seat, feigning interest
"It's a Lockheed Martin RQ-170 Sentinel Jeeves. JEEVES"
I shouted back "Sentinel sir, RQ sir, Marvellous sir"
at that moment a jeep pulled up, and a man exited
| Click to see full-size image. |
I was asked for my name, my abode and what we were doing here. My master bounded towards us, and before I could warn him blurted out
"We're photographing every drone and we're from England. He's Jeeves, I'm tikay and I was voted Sky Poker's third favourite analyst in the BRMB Octover 2013 survey"
He nodded, proudly.
"This is classified territory gentlemen, said the uniformed man, you are going to have to come with us"
at that point My master appeared to panic. He ran round the front of the car, jumped in the drivers seat, started the car and shouted back to me as he drove off
"I'm too old for prison Jeeves, I'll write!!"
I was handcuffed, bundled into the back of the jeep and twenty minutes later found myself being processed
at
Frankly, I felt Ihad been let down somewhat.
When this note arrived in Master's handwriting a few hours later, my ire rose somewhat further
Though writing it on the postcard of the prison was a nice touch.
I am not quite sure yet what Master's plans are to extricate me from this situation.
If you see him touring the Rio card-room trying to wake up Seniors mid-hand, tell him to spare me a thought
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