Joke!!

[bobAlike]

I've just been to a charity football match for stroke victims.
I've never seen such a one sided game.

[Lucky]

Not new, but made me smile this morning.


A man was sitting reading his papers when his wife hit him on the head with a frying pan.

'What was that for?' the man asked.

The wife replied 'That was for the piece of paper with the name Jenny on it that I found in your trouser pocket'.

The man then said 'When I was at the races last week Jenny was the name of the horse I bet on'  The wife apologized and went on with the housework.

Three days later the man is watching TV when his wife bashes him on the head with an even bigger frying pan, knocking him unconscious.

Upon regaining consciousness the man asked why she had hit again.

Wife replied. 'Your horse phoned'

[pokerfan]

I was telling my mates in the pub the old joke about  "what do you do when an epileptic has a fit in the bath?
 
Throw in your washing." 

They were all laughing out loud when a bloke tapped me on the shoulder and said "that's not funny, my brother was epileptic and died in the bath."

"sorry mate" i said "did he have a fit?"

"no" he said "he choked on a sock..."

[Woodsey]

The England team went to visit a South African orphanage. "It was good to put a smile on the faces of people who have no hope and are constantly struggling," said Joseph Umboto, aged six

[Woodsey]

Rob Green trained today and in 3 hours and 30,000 shots he didnt concede one goal! Tomorrow him and Heskey are going to train with the rest of the squad

[Claw75]

tank posted this one on facebook the other day.  As he hasn't seen fit to share it here I make no apologies for the blatant plagiarism.

Who was the funniest dictator?

Chairman lmao

[boldie]

To all the women that watch the footie and shout "Bring on Joe Cole!" or "Pass it to Frank!"

Please keep quiet, you didn't hear me say "Take her from behind" during Sex And The City 2, did you?

[The_nun]

 

To all the women that watch the footie and shout "Bring on Joe Cole!" or "Pass it to Frank!"

Please keep quiet, you didn't hear me say "Take her from behind" during Sex And The City 2, did you?

[TheChipPrince]

I went to the bookshop earlier to get the latest edition of 'Where's Wally'...  I looked for ages, couldn't find it, asked the young girl at the counter, she could either...  We went to the manager, she said it's here somewhere, but after 2 hours, nothing...  Well played Wally, well played...

[Girgy85]

I went to the bookshop earlier to get the latest edition of 'Where's Wally'...  I looked for ages, couldn't find it, asked the young girl at the counter, she could either...  We went to the manager, she said it's here somewhere, but after 2 hours, nothing...  Well played Wally, well played...

am I missing the joke here?

[boldie]

I went to the bookshop earlier to get the latest edition of 'Where's Wally'...  I looked for ages, couldn't find it, asked the young girl at the counter, she could either...  We went to the manager, she said it's here somewhere, but after 2 hours, nothing...  Well played Wally, well played...

am I missing the joke here?

that I posted the joke earlier?

It's a seriously cracking joke.

[jakally]

I went to the bookshop earlier to get the latest edition of 'Where's Wally'...  I looked for ages, couldn't find it, asked the young girl at the counter, she could either...  We went to the manager, she said it's here somewhere, but after 2 hours, nothing...  Well played Wally, well played...

am I missing the joke here?

I'm with you Girg.......... think there's a bit of info that I'm missing to make this funny.

[themisery]

I went to the bookshop earlier to get the latest edition of 'Where's Wally'...  I looked for ages, couldn't find it, asked the young girl at the counter, she could either...  We went to the manager, she said it's here somewhere, but after 2 hours, nothing...  Well played Wally, well played...

am I missing the joke here?

I'm with you Girg.......... think there's a bit of info that I'm missing to make this funny.

Maybe the title of the book has something to do with it...

[Claw75]

don't think there's anything missing, it's just obviously an acquired sense of humour.

[ ] I lolled

[Claw75]

I went to get some money out of the cashpoint this morning.  Little old lady in front of me was standing on one leg and wobbling about a bit - looked like she was gonna fall over tbh, so I asked her if she was ok or needed some help.  "No it's ok dear" she said "I'm just checking my balance."