Prose from a Poshboy

[youthnkzR]

plus the diary is gonna die out anyway now it's been sinbinned over here.

WTF? What's happened/what you mean? Did I miss something?

I was just being a mardy fucker last night! Strange considering it was my biggest winning day in 4 months! but I've been feeling crap about poker for so long now and it's starting to spill out. I usually try to keep it off the thread because not many people get it, how tough it is on your emotions and it usually just induces the wrong sort of reaction. It's always better to wait until the morning to post because you inevitably feel so much better after a good nights sleep and can think more clearly. Always end up regretting when I do post, like I do now.

I can understand how this must be tricky. To many you have the "nut" lifestyle, which I'd imagine is often partly caused, and this isn't meant in a pejorative sense towards those who have these feelings at all, by "the grass being greener". That is to say someone who works a traditional full-time job, in which (s)he is fulfilled in some ways but not in others, satisfied with certain aspects (but one naturally forgets this over time) but frustrated with others, who perhaps enjoys many of the facets of poker and deems to dedicate their 'free' time to the game....is jealous of the fact that your 'work' time is filled by, to their mind, what they do in their 'free' time.

The difficulty of course comes in the fact that the translation between the two is far from perfect. Your responsibilities to yourself with regards the game of poker are different/greater to those of the onlooker - does this make sense? As such one can easily make light of the concept of playing poker for a living, but to do so in my opinion is a gross underestimation of the difficulties that are part and parcel of the 'job'.

All of which means that you can't really 'vent'. If someone works a gruelling 8-5 on a building site people sympathise when they are exhausted. If someone works in the medical profession and is particularly upset by the plight of a patient, people sympathise. If a pro poker player is affected by a downswing, becomes frustrated with aspects of the game, or whatever the negative emotion might be....people don't sympathise because they lack the empathy present in the previous examples as to them poker=leisure.

Right, enough philosophical nonsense. Get your head down, work hard, play well, be good for the game. Next Wednesday you're getting in a chauffeur-driven car to London before heading France to smash up a load of frogs at poker in a city that even I won a comp in.

Get a grip

One of the best, if not the best post I've read on this forum.

[MANTIS01]

I don't really agree with the post. I think anybody with experience in poker who isn't already a pro would dread the prospect of trading all the positives a career brings to gamble on cards full time instead. Maybe a few young kids with stars in their eyes might feel jealous but anybody with miles on the clock certainly wouldn't. I think the reality is different professions garner different levels of empathy as standard. So sure I'm gonna show sympathy to the nurse with a dying patient because it's a profession where empathy is high on the agenda. Am I going to show equal empathy to the traffic warden who comes home stressed out after a busy day issuing tickets? Prob not.

Professional poker playing is quite simply very low in the list of professions where sympathy is going to be offered readily. The reason for that is everybody loses at cards most of the time, everybody has bad beats a lot of the time. So when a guy approaches you in the break and tells you the flop came rah rah to crack his bullets the natural reaction is boredom not sympathy. When somebody says check it out I've had a whole month where the flop came rah rah, well it's just gonna bore your ear off. In addition people also see poker players with this hardened emotionless exterior and that contributes to the traditional lack of sympathy.

The thing is the people who genuinely care about you will always be there to offer sympathy whatever trials and tribulations you suffer. But to expect sympathy from randoms or fellow players is a touch unrealistic. I would say talking to people who care about you and your emotions is a much better bet whether they understand poker or not. Cos people who understand poker prob wont give a shit.

[cambridgealex]

RIP #1 spot or a big sunday funday update to come?

not rip obv, was just gonna wait till i had something cheerful to write about. Close today as always, 9th in night on stars with 10k first, and 25th in hiroller with 13k first. Really thought I had moaned something good in as well lol.

[smashedagain]

How's the open face going. Saw Mitch playing at the weekend but the chess was too big a draw for me.

[Tal]

How's the open face going. Saw Mitch playing at the weekend but the chess was too big a draw for me.

Hero

[SuuPRlim]

The thing is the people who genuinely care about you will always be there to offer sympathy whatever trials and tribulations you suffer. But to expect sympathy from randoms or fellow players is a touch unrealistic. I would say talking to people who care about you and your emotions is a much better bet whether they understand poker or not. Cos people who understand poker prob wont give a shit.

You'll be surprised, my "normal mates" from back home will always say to me "how's poker going" when i meet them and when I say, yh really badly atm they mostly just laugh, suggest I do something else and more the subject along - it's fine I dont mind this being what happens it just can get very frustrating/lonely when you're having huge professional problems and literally no1 around can just sit there for 15 minutes and let you moan at them, whenever I'm with my friends from home they spend at least 20 minutes telling me how it takes them 25 minns not 15 to get to tto work in the morning and petrol is going up by X. Would be nice just to be able to vent and let some steam off, speshly as poker defo causes way more drastic short term emotions then some other jobs.

Hey ho though, the upsides are freedom, time to travel, you can wake up when you want and you have a chance to make shedloads of cash so I guess you have to take this for what it is or go get a  job at debenhams

[outragous76]

The thing is the people who genuinely care about you will always be there to offer sympathy whatever trials and tribulations you suffer. But to expect sympathy from randoms or fellow players is a touch unrealistic. I would say talking to people who care about you and your emotions is a much better bet whether they understand poker or not. Cos people who understand poker prob wont give a shit.

You'll be surprised, my "normal mates" from back home will always say to me "how's poker going" when i meet them and when I say, yh really badly atm they mostly just laugh, suggest I do something else and more the subject along - it's fine I dont mind this being what happens it just can get very frustrating/lonely when you're having huge professional problems and literally no1 around can just sit there for 15 minutes and let you moan at them, whenever I'm with my friends from home they spend at least 20 minutes telling me how it takes them 25 minns not 15 to get to tto work in the morning and petrol is going up by X. Would be nice just to be able to vent and let some steam off, speshly as poker defo causes way more drastic short term emotions then some other jobs.

Hey ho though, the upsides are freedom, time to travel, you can wake up when you want and you have a chance to make shedloads of cash so I guess you have to take this for what it is or go get a  job at debenhams

But the flip side of this is that (some) people "moan" with their peers everyday. Poker has established this "we dont talk about it" mentality, because "it happens to us all" and "noneone wants to hear it".

The reality is, you would all be much better off having a serious whinge and moan (periodically) and supporting mates through downswings and not just saying "lol variance"

And Dave, if you want to whinge to a poker understanding non pro, im all ears. Coffee in Chapel A this week? Besides Im good with "plans" too - or at least coming up with them! Not so much the implementation!

[MANTIS01]

The thing is the people who genuinely care about you will always be there to offer sympathy whatever trials and tribulations you suffer. But to expect sympathy from randoms or fellow players is a touch unrealistic. I would say talking to people who care about you and your emotions is a much better bet whether they understand poker or not. Cos people who understand poker prob wont give a shit.

You'll be surprised, my "normal mates" from back home will always say to me "how's poker going" when i meet them and when I say, yh really badly atm they mostly just laugh, suggest I do something else and more the subject along - it's fine I dont mind this being what happens it just can get very frustrating/lonely when you're having huge professional problems and literally no1 around can just sit there for 15 minutes and let you moan at them, whenever I'm with my friends from home they spend at least 20 minutes telling me how it takes them 25 minns not 15 to get to tto work in the morning and petrol is going up by X. Would be nice just to be able to vent and let some steam off, speshly as poker defo causes way more drastic short term emotions then some other jobs.

Hey ho though, the upsides are freedom, time to travel, you can wake up when you want and you have a chance to make shedloads of cash so I guess you have to take this for what it is or go get a  job at debenhams

What you're talking about there tho is just banter with your mates. I mean how much sympathy do YOU really offer friends who get stuck in traffic on the way to work? Getting stuck in traffic is just a normal problem of your job if you work in the city so basically there is no real practical solution other than to get another job. It would be different if you sought advice in a serious fashion about your emotions I'm sure. In the same vein downswings are just a normal problem of being a poker professional and there is no real practical solution to that either other than to get another job. It is just a fundamental of the job. What would you say to the nurse who came home and said she was sick of the sight of blood? What can you say, it's just a fundamental aspect of the job. I would suggest if people want to simply 'vent' their frustration they should go for a run or get a punchbag or something because there is no real solution and nobody will be interested.

I often think people like to vent because of ego and status. Believe me I would be a big winner all the time if I wasn't so unlucky all the time kind of thing. It's important to try and gravitate to a place where you are impervious to results and impervious to what people think. I mean that is the journey of improvement for the poker professional imo. That said I think Alex has this diary which could be a good tool to vent some frustration. If people moan at him about that who gives a shit?

Btw I went and played for 6 hours on Saturday and in the end my AK<AQ for the chip lead to knock me out. Do you give a fuck about that? I even stopped giving a fuck about that many years ago.

[Yian]

The thing is the people who genuinely care about you will always be there to offer sympathy whatever trials and tribulations you suffer. But to expect sympathy from randoms or fellow players is a touch unrealistic. I would say talking to people who care about you and your emotions is a much better bet whether they understand poker or not. Cos people who understand poker prob wont give a shit.

You'll be surprised, my "normal mates" from back home will always say to me "how's poker going" when i meet them and when I say, yh really badly atm they mostly just laugh, suggest I do something else and more the subject along - it's fine I dont mind this being what happens it just can get very frustrating/lonely when you're having huge professional problems and literally no1 around can just sit there for 15 minutes and let you moan at them, whenever I'm with my friends from home they spend at least 20 minutes telling me how it takes them 25 minns not 15 to get to tto work in the morning and petrol is going up by X. Would be nice just to be able to vent and let some steam off, speshly as poker defo causes way more drastic short term emotions then some other jobs.

Hey ho though, the upsides are freedom, time to travel, you can wake up when you want and you have a chance to make shedloads of cash so I guess you have to take this for what it is or go get a  job at debenhams

But the flip side of this is that (some) people "moan" with their peers everyday. Poker has established this "we dont talk about it" mentality, because "it happens to us all" and "noneone wants to hear it".

The reality is, you would all be much better off having a serious whinge and moan (periodically) and supporting mates through downswings and not just saying "lol variance"

And Dave, if you want to whinge to a poker understanding non pro, im all ears. Coffee in Chapel A this week? Besides Im good with "plans" too - or at least coming up with them! Not so much the implementation!

I agree with this. I went a very long time keeping all my poker activity a secret and whilst I was convinced that during the downswings I was immune to the emotions of it all and patted myself on the back for being almost robot like and didn't even flinch at the turn of a brutal card, it eventually catches up with you. All the suppressed emotions surface and you feel very burnt out in my experience. So some emotional support is needed but it is hard to find ears that genuinely understand, sympathise and then have the right words to say back to you. I've let my dad in the past couple years and at times I wish I didn't because his choice of words at times when talking about poker can be very tilting and have found myself being very sensitive nowadays to the way a sentence has been put together. I remember on one occasion where I was deep into a tournament and I bluffed off chips for 7 figure stacks, I received a text from him simply saying "BAD", I was not amused.

I guess I'm asking for a bit much when I expect people to speak when I want, say what I want and be quiet when I want; but I think going through your journey completely alone can be increasingly stressful.

[cambridgealex]

my god that would be the most tilting thing in the world!

[SuuPRlim]

The thing is the people who genuinely care about you will always be there to offer sympathy whatever trials and tribulations you suffer. But to expect sympathy from randoms or fellow players is a touch unrealistic. I would say talking to people who care about you and your emotions is a much better bet whether they understand poker or not. Cos people who understand poker prob wont give a shit.

You'll be surprised, my "normal mates" from back home will always say to me "how's poker going" when i meet them and when I say, yh really badly atm they mostly just laugh, suggest I do something else and more the subject along - it's fine I dont mind this being what happens it just can get very frustrating/lonely when you're having huge professional problems and literally no1 around can just sit there for 15 minutes and let you moan at them, whenever I'm with my friends from home they spend at least 20 minutes telling me how it takes them 25 minns not 15 to get to tto work in the morning and petrol is going up by X. Would be nice just to be able to vent and let some steam off, speshly as poker defo causes way more drastic short term emotions then some other jobs.

Hey ho though, the upsides are freedom, time to travel, you can wake up when you want and you have a chance to make shedloads of cash so I guess you have to take this for what it is or go get a  job at debenhams

What you're talking about there tho is just banter with your mates. I mean how much sympathy do YOU really offer friends who get stuck in traffic on the way to work? Getting stuck in traffic is just a normal problem of your job if you work in the city so basically there is no real practical solution other than to get another job. It would be different if you sought advice in a serious fashion about your emotions I'm sure. In the same vein downswings are just a normal problem of being a poker professional and there is no real practical solution to that either other than to get another job. It is just a fundamental of the job. What would you say to the nurse who came home and said she was sick of the sight of blood? What can you say, it's just a fundamental aspect of the job. I would suggest if people want to simply 'vent' their frustration they should go for a run or get a punchbag or something because there is no real solution and nobody will be interested.

I often think people like to vent because of ego and status. Believe me I would be a big winner all the time if I wasn't so unlucky all the time kind of thing. It's important to try and gravitate to a place where you are impervious to results and impervious to what people think. I mean that is the journey of improvement for the poker professional imo. That said I think Alex has this diary which could be a good tool to vent some frustration. If people moan at him about that who gives a shit?

Btw I went and played for 6 hours on Saturday and in the end my AK<AQ for the chip lead to knock me out. Do you give a fuck about that? I even stopped giving a fuck about that many years ago.

Not really banter, they ASK me "hows poker going?" I say terrible - not because I've just AK vs AQ on a final table bubble but because I've been losing for a bit, and that's bad - in essence im just performing poorly in my work. You never get any sympathy  ofc that's fine, part of the "job"

Also It's not like I wanna say "seriously I'm way better than my results I'm just unlucky" I'm way better than that its just when poker is going very badly it does upset me a little bit but I have to deal with it all by myself because that's part of the beast. So when people think "oh must be so sick being a pro poker player" not saying that it isn't just saying think about that and the emotional affects that winning/loosing big sums has on your mental balance and then consider having to deal with it all by yourself.

If you cant do it then you wont be a successful pro gambler, so not complaining, just saying it's kind of hard that's all, so when Alex tilts off a bit on here we can defo forgive him imo.

[cambridgealex]

Update

To be successful as a professional poker player, one of the things you need to be is PROFESSIONAL. And that means leaving your ego at the door when it comes to downswings and bankroll management. It's great being "baller" etc and playing anything you please, but it's obviously worth sacrificing a bit of that that for however long it takes if it avoids going busto and getting a "JOB".

This involves dropping down, playing smaller, selling more, grinding out "bowlier" comps, more satellites etc AND taking some tough decisions with regards to staking.

Today I finalised the "transfer" of PJ to the Keith and Keys stable, which is a bit sad, but he was a very expensive horse to stake (plays the highest stakes by far, not cos he's the worst lol) and despite being technically the best I have, it made the most sense to let him go, since I could get a decent "fee" from K&K for him and I really couldn't afford to stake him much longer.

I've staked him for about 18months and done pretty well overall. Last 4 months have been pretty brutal, but overall it's been a great and profitable arrangement. Really happy to see him run like god today in his first session for K&K...

Anyway, it's a nice weight off my shoulders and I've done the right thing. I guess this is the first big setback in my "career" since it started. Guess I should count myself lucky that it's come after more than 2 years and I'm still in a great position financially really compared to a lot of pros.

Nothing interesting has been happening pokerwise personally, running terribly aside from a couple of spurts of rungood in hypers today keeping things afloat. Losing for the month still. Few days to get out before Deauville....

[rfgqqabc]

PJ confirms move to Premiership club?!?

 

Hope it works out well for everyone involved.

[zerofive]

Yeah this sounds like it was a pretty tough decision to have to make Alex. I have a lot of respect for the professionalism that comes out in you sometimes! Good luck to Peej under K&K, and it's time for you to get some morale back and ping this EPT.

[Eso Kral]

Yeah this sounds like it was a pretty tough decision to have to make Alex. I have a lot of respect for the professionalism that comes out in you sometimes! Good luck to Peej under K&K, and it's time for you to get some morale back and ping this EPT.

Yeah very much this ^^ pls win the EPT!!