china mug on china mug by china mug for china mug courtsy of china mug...a diary

[Chompy]

Wednesday night fields of 22 at the G take some cracking, so wpwp Thomas.

I'll take 1% at 1.0 in the first bag event you sell for ta.

[nirvana]

Yep, just post a few more things here and then use the staking board, follow the templates mapped out for staking requests and hope for the best.

[OverTheBorder]

Tom, you would sell for bag events with absolue no problem.

I would suggest posting your next DTD cash as a 70 post epic and discuss your various eccentric tendencies in the lounge, maybe set up your own jokes thread

Also, serious advice, e-mail the good people at the Hendon Mob and say that:

http://pokerdb.thehendonmob.com/player.php?a=r&n=211924

and

http://pokerdb.thehendonmob.com/player.php?a=r&n=1247

Are the same person.  This should help to sell yourself.

[Chompy]

Did you know Tommy Lee named he's book after you?

Click to see full-size image.

[china mug]

thanks for feed back guys ......you fell for it chompy you are hear by my ..poker manager,..by proxy......you had better shape up
i await instructions as to where ,when ,and how .....will buy you meal at luton g for a sit down and the laying out of your directional fine tuneing ,not a kebab...
say when here   
ty

[china mug]

i think i shall treat the next events at the vic ,end of this monthas a test piece,so i shall have to see what if any sats i can win into the events online and failing that just pay and enter......time to put away the toys and get seriouse,.......

chompsky what odds to win the next 1000 gukpt at the vic,im thinking 300 to 1 ish,if chompsky is tied up on his smb perhaps glevana could proxy for her....

[china mug]

last night at luton g was like stepping onto the marie celest,....onley without the sea and a ship....

[china mug]

friday night at luton g was like a eppasode of the twilight zone........nearley 4k in prize pool and im on cash table whielst chandra is ploughing thru the comp ,must have slipped iinto a parerell unaverse,no make that a gate way at the end of a black hole.....glevana is there on the final table also......weird sights and sounds abound fuelled by the ever present propullsion fuel ,red diesel chahtea alla lidels reserve 2012......now its getting scarey vinny joins the cash  on my left and vaccerela on my right ,as much fun as a kushner sandwich,time for bed andy pandy, time for bed loopey loo,and ted.....

[china mug]

hi chompy,got your e mail 17,2,13..will take on board all the useful comments,thanks for the input.....tried to email you back on the link and ended up looking at a load of snats old e mails....
me and tecnolagy dont mix,there fore would you tell h mob that they have two headings for me
will add a starter to the meal i owe you at luton g for your time,thanks again
pokers best kept secret
tom

[china mug]

cant understand it ...whent to vic for satalite 20 plus tickets generated,...and i didnt get near,dont they know i used to be bbppil...ba humbug back to luton for the free stuff,shazbutt

[The Camel]

My favourite diary on Blonde.

[china mug]

so not being able to get a ticket into the vics 1000 satalitei still had dtd to shoot at
got train up there as im too idle to drive ,me my bag and quiltted jacket alight at beeston station like a scene from pale rider ,book in and taxi ,which i phone myself as ive cottoned to the hylands hotel seems to call a costley cab service ,as in kick back i think mmmmm ....into dtd hi to tighty  at his station,its a bit like haveing the same girl on the same till at tescos...seeing him there sort of reassureing...and on with the poker now i have two tickets which i got from sats ,so if no luck today..friday..therae always saturday
so i played and played ....and played,and whats that word im looking for...o yea and played...all to no avail,im like a frigging plane on a airfield thats trundling around but cant take off,spewing chips horrible nowt no chances ,as ive been playing tight everey one is takeing it in turn to play rear gunner and raise my blinds and i cant find a hand to shove it up them with....about 11 ish im out after a truley horrible poker non experiance,into cab into beeston pub and into 3 pints of stella...cabbie forgot to put metre on and asked me what faire usualey is ,so i told him...free enterprice still exists in nottingham cabbies ,back to hotel and tv,
console my self with theres always saturday
yea ill show them
yea its got to be better
right



tbc
formeley lgbbpp

[china mug]

so its saturday morning and im up for the breakie at the hotel nice food i paticurley like the grapefruit segments...the waitress is chatting to a family of four japenese guests and keeps saying sausages to the one year old child who giggles and is enjoying the attention as he says ..muma and dada and another word which the mother word explains is auntie,so the waitress is happy that she has been adopted by the child as auntis and she presses on with her attempts to teach the child how to say sausages....as the waitress flits about doing the toast ect i see the japenese parents exchanging a glance which to me says ...w t f why wont this silly bat leave us alone ,instead of makeing fun of our childs culture and inabilty to say sausages....
any way i eat up ,leave a pound tip,strange realy i never find any thing to tip at luton but maybe its because im on a trip and of cource i dont want to attract the bad karma elves and pixies to play mischief on me.
usualey i go for a walk around the shops in beeston ,but this time i loaf in the hotel watching tv,
i call a taxi ,they say hello mr thomas...definateley got a number recognition system theres no way they can recognise my voice ,into taxi and into frankie and benies for a coffee and chicken caeuser pizza mmmmm nice ,a few too many noisy kids every where but at least theres no japenese waitress flitting about trying to teach them how to say sacki....
into dtd i say hi to tighty ,followed by no dont get up he feins lack of hearing or understanding as he flits his eyes back to the words on his bible ,but i know his ever spinning rubese brain is already storeing my little witisism away to be re introduced as a original in the near future.....aaarrreee its good to give
i see a good number of people i know lucky allan,north of the border who tells me hes in same hotel and taxi shareing is a good idea and then we start to play....

now as per game plan im going to be pushing the boat out ,not following other players action im going to be makeing the waves not getting dunked by other peoples incontenant splashing....for i am a god amongst poker mortals ,yes i am the poisided of the shores of seats one to nine this is my realm i will send tempest and storm to rain down on any mere mortals who dare to steal free passage across me empire without paying the ferry man his due ,hay wtf im hitting some good stuff i raise with jj three callers flop 3 3 9 i bet i take ,a k flop a 2 7 i bet one caller turn rubbish i bet he folds ,im up to 45000 chips and thers no dowt who the top dog in this battersea dogs home is .......what could possibley go wrong ,i can change down a gear or up as i see fit im in a spead boat whilest every one else is still wearing there inflaitable wings there mummys insisted they have on for swimming lessonsand were onley on level two
i look down at kk there are two limpers at 250 chips i raise to 950 one caller low flop i bet he folds i show hand
three hands latter i look down at kk again there are 4 limpers at 250 i make it 2250 two callers flop j 9 6 rainbow they both check i dont like the straiting potential or two pair possibilitys and decide to take it now i bet 10000 .....like a scene from columbo where the detective is just leaving the room but then has this thought that theres one thing he just dousnt understand and can you help me with it...and then the murderer seeing the logic of columbos train of thought ,so if you bussiness partener was on the 8.30 train why was his car in the late stay car park faceing south....and all the murderer has to say is ,well i dont know mr columbo ,i guess thats one of lifes mysteries but if you find out why feel free to let my lawyers know,but he dousnt say that he confesses instead and columbo has another puff on his cigar
ive bet 10000 matey thinks ,thinks some more then gose all in other player passes another 15000 to me ,has he got lucky and hit a set ,has he played aa brilliantley ,they are the onley two hands that make sence.....i say to him well youre either been very lucky or played brilliantley...i call,leaving my self with 15000 chips
he shows 10 j spades i show kk, o i thought you had a k he says yes a couple of other players chorus the 10000 bet and raise before the flop looked like a k ,
then like the king of the waves that i am undoutabley destined to be im skiming across the surf on one real mother of a wave hot chicks are looking apreciatlively from the beach other hip surfers are pausing in there actions to see this epic coo de gra of brilliant bedazzilling king of cool,i even appear to have lost the bear belly and have grown golden locks of sholder lenth hair ,if they make a film of this i think brad pitt will have to play me,after i give him some coaching to get the very essense of the substance of a poker god ....aaahhhhh happy days ,so i suppose we had better get the formalitey of the rest of the flop out of the way before i don my vikings helmet and start plundering and pilliaging the rest of my table with my 75000 chips and were onley on level two.......

tbc

[china mug]

turn spade,river spade....this pickings from a tramps left nostrel has hit a flush,the whole table is looking embarressed for me ,matey is stacking my chips and keeping his eyes down ......
the game goese on ,i cant seem to recover ,other players are haveing a slice of me ,maybe payback for when i was the daddy on east wing just a few short mineutes ago,the recipatant of my chips is semi spewing and semi hitting flops but is clearley destoned to splurge.....easy come easy go seems to be his family creast,....its now a race to get your begging bowl in front of matey for the free handout of chips,its level 4 good player makes it 1250 matey mr spew my chips calls,i look down at ace ten suited all in 3900,good calls as douse spewamunger,....flop 965 rainbow,both check,turn 6 ,both check ,river 6 ,check  bet 5100 by he who is destened for great things just not in poker call by good player who shows ace nine spewmunger shows 6 9 for quad .........
so its no suprise that i had the best before the flop,i dont ask for special favours in life or poker ,i know eventualey idiouts like spew boy will fade into the flock wall paper that they emergerd from and like a stain on the wall will fade away,an analogy i have used before about poker is that its like a group of peaple crossing a frozen lake ,the experianced players advance cautiousley gaining ground and detouring around thin ice listening for the grouns and flexing of the ice as they steadley advance not put of by haveing to detour a longer route to avoid spots that may swallow them up,other players look at the shortest route and with no regard for any sensiability rush on regardless many of them fall thru the ice ,slip and fail or get lost but the random who gets thru now looks back from his advantagose safe point on the far shaw and congratulates himself on his busness accamen and visonerey decision makeing prowess,
next time they do the same,with success further enforcing there self mysteak ,then they do it again ....but eventualey hopefulley when its a immportant compatition they do it once too often and just as they are approaching the safety of the shore with there brimming bag of chips a polar bear rears up and being starving from its hibernation all on its own for the last 6 months grabs spew boy and thows him down to enjoy a tasty little snack,but as the polar bear follows the same line of thought as spew boy namely head down and go for it,and it has bean a lonsome 6 months hibernation he rips the rags of spew boy and sets about pleasureing himself before his snack time in about 3 hours....as spew boy wonders where did it all go wrong he might just catch glimpses of good players darting by safley.
into taxi into karioke pub into 4 pints stella,i notice all the regs are singing the same songs as last month one old girl black velvet ,her claim to fame then a man with all the moves of a washing machine on ecomeney spin they get the bar maid to do a few numbers as she has a okak voice ,compansation no dout in part.
i spot or think i spot a good looking 35 ish bird scanning me from across the room ,she looks like the bird out of the film with michael douglas ,and he shags her then comes home to a pot of bunney boiler stew,forget it tom i think with my form she is probley looking at the flashing decoration lights on the wall above the door ,two sets of light adjourn the corners of the pub wraped around a twiggy branch each very natural looking and cheap to make,one set is flashing at a steady tempo the other set either owing to there setting or a electrical wireing problem are flashing like the eyes of a new york park squirrel that has bean consumeing peoples secret stashes of amphetamines all day
of out of the pub i go to the indian the locals have told me about,short walk and into what was once a pub but is now ..nimboo fine indian cuisine...nice decor its about 11 ish now and theres a liveley few people about,a reject from tesco tills shows me where to sit and i order,no they dont do oakra lady fingers,no they dont do a meat biani.....i order chicken jalfreize rice spiiage and cottage cheese plus 2 popadoms ......
the popadomms come ,if you could imagen a mutant pack a quaver crisps say 5 crisps the size of a childs hand in a bowl thats the pops the relish is a sweet marmalade,a mint ,and a chilli all of which are liqufied so you could if you wanted use a straw to suck them up....im sitting at a table for 4 as im not drinking ,planning to return to pub,ive moved the drinks glasses onto the left of the table that amounts to 8 glasses in all ,any other indian restraunt ive been into they remove the unwanted items...not here im in a nice cosy venue little flower in vase and candle flickering on tables and im eating whielst beside me it looks like a stacking station from a dishwasher,sod the karma elves and pixies i will be polared if they get a tip
the main meal arrives.....eventualey
all puafied ,its like the food is designed for the ease of the staff to prepare,the chicken jalfrezie is in a sause very simalar to what you would get from mums go to iceland but then and this is the cunning bit some one has got 4 pices of red peppar the size of a small stamp and cooked them and put them in the jalfrieze ...walla,the rice medioce,the spinich again ,what the fudge if your going to buy a mollinour blender you probley want to get your ussage out of it....blended to a purree and then 4 bits of cottage cheese inserted.......the propriator of this jewel in the denial is still chatting to drinkers at the bar ,o well tom what do you expect ,shame realy 80 years ago some locals would have supped ale here and probley complained about the quality of the pork pies ....if they could see it now....
okak ill pay up and go and after all the food was tasty  ,whats this approaching my table are yes its the indian goffa who asked me if i wanted a drink originaley and then abandonded me to she of the ...tesco beans price please.....what could he want ,no ,not ,surley..
......yes he asks me how i enjoyed my meal

he didnt get away from me for 5.5 mineutes as i explained to him what i enjoyed about the meal ,finishing with telling him that if a bus of pensioners were looking for a meal i would certainley send them here as all the food can be eaten with a sraw...and did he know the advert for carlesburg bear and the catchline ..if carlsberg did z y or z
well if mcdonalds did indian restraunts this would be it
he scurried of
i payed the bill at the bar i saw the waiter had not had a chance to give my feed back to el propriator who insisted in exalting to me the discount next time i come
out o indian into pub its dying down into hotel tommorrows another day
onto train home do not pass go do not collect 200 pounds
like a genie in the lamp im getting very pissed in not getting out...
kbo

[the sicilian]

Starting to become a BOB