Fishiest Gala cash game in the world ever.
There was me, and there was Creasey to my left, followed by the nittiest player I've ever seen, then a bad reg, then four absolute spewtards. What a setup. Didn't win a bean, though it was a bumpy ride to the realm of breakeven. All of the spewy players were sat about £40 deep and just calling any two pre and not even evaluating post. There was a pot where Creasey 3bets to £25 after one of the spewtards opens £8, one spewbot cold calls, the original raiser flats. They're both playing £15 behind and both snap fold a 9 high flop. What a life.
There was an orbit of the table where Q6 won just about every pot. Spewtard #1 - who had a hundred stories to tell to a bunch of Indian students about his gap yah yet bottled them all up until the action was on him (henceforth known as Clocktard) - opened utg for £6. Two callers. I flick it in on the button with
, the blinds fold. All check a
flop, then he bets £10 on the
turn, folded to be and I call.
on the river and he tank bets £20. I hate it and call, and get shown the immortal
. Although it might be misleading to say I was "shown;" Gala, in their never-ending quest to alienate just about everyone from their casino, have switched to Bridge-size small-index cards. I had to lean forward and do the Goulder-squint, asking the dealer if that was in fact an offsuit 6. He won the next hand with Q6 as well, against the absolute nit who couldn't have more obviously had KK, but as we have already ascertained: Q6 never loses.
Armed with that knowledge, I open the next pot from the hijack with
to £5 and get five callers.
. Obviously. Spewtard #2 - whose characteristics included buying in for £40 then reloading another £25 and buying his mate in for £25 using
only £1 coins, and being the happiest man to ever lose a pot (henceforth known as Changetard) - bets £15. I raise to £50 and he calls with about £22 behind. The
hits the turn and he just moves the rest in. I sigh and call. The river comes an even more damning
, at which point he assures me, "I missed." I do another Goulder-squint and scan the board for a draw worth £72, before he flips his
and starts giving it what I like to call the PLO-pain. PLO-pain = "I had the second nut flush draw, a complete wrap at the bottom, and a backdoor gutshot straight flush draw, set draws, pair draws, a ton of fold equity, blockers... but my showdown hand is deuces."
I gave back everything I won in that pot when I missed with
on
versus
. Then Changetard gave it all to Clocktard, who snap cashed out and that was the end of that. Winning 50p after four hours, and that went to the dealer. Bring on the Friday night fiasco at Alea!
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