Vegas & The Aftermath - Diary

[tikay]

I became impatient to play by around November, so I decided to take the plunge & play the 9 hole course, & suddenly I discovered a major problem I had not considered. It’s a proper 9 hole Course, not a Pitch & Putt, but quite hilly.

I was carrying my bag, & just could not manage the hills without having to stop to catch my breath. The whole thing was not much fun, as I was struggling so much for breath.  And I chunked almost every shot too. But then, on the Par 3 9th, I hit a perfect, clean shot, dead straight, right at the flag, & it landed on the front of the Green & rolled about 15 foot past. From there it was a simple matter of 4 putts for a Double Bogey. Easy peasy. The die was cast though, & I was hooked.  

Tom of course said I was daft to try & carry my bag, “get a trolley” he said. He’s so annoying when he’s right.

My next round was a few days later, I had the bug now, & this time I had a pull-trolley. It was wet, sloppy, & I was wearing trainers, as I did not have my proper golf shoes at the time.  It was like Bambi as I slipped & slithered down the hills, with my pull trolley becoming a push trolley. Eventually I slithered over onto my arse, & in trying to save myself, rolled over twice, making a complete pratt of myself.

Nah, golf was not for me.

But of course after a few days the itch returned, so I went & got myself some proper golf shoes. And eventually, after a dozen or so 9 hole rounds, I got myself a proper Handicap.

All I have to do now is learn to hit my Irons, & wait for the weather to get better. No matter how much you want to play golf, trudging round in the mud, off winter tees in the freezing cold & rain is not much fun.  

[tikay]

With Christmas approaching, & with a bout of bronchitis, there were no more rounds for a month or two, but soon I was back to the Range most every day, & yes, I was actually hitting the ball better. I was dying to get out on a grown up Big Boys 18 hole course, but I was not really ready, so I decided to be sensible & wait a while until the weather was better.

And then one day in early February, the sun was shining, & I could not resist the urge to play my maiden 18 hole round.

I drove to Morley Hayes & they had no tee-times available, so I went across to Breadsall priory to try the Moorland Course. There were 3 x 4 balls stacked up on the 1st Tee, so that was no good. So I drove across to Ormonde Fields, which – 20+ years ago – I was very familiar with. How did that go?

[tikay]

It was nothing short of a disaster. I asked for a trolley & the bloke said “help yourself, but we only have two & both are broken”. Thanks mate. Buggies were not in use, (the course was too wet), so I was back to carrying. On a hilly 18 holer. Any sensible person would have realised that would end badly.

Anyway, I got myself a tee time & walked up to the 1st Tee, & there was a young lad standing there who invited me to pair up with him. Lordy, that was the last thing I wanted. And he was dead good, you could tell. Brand new shiny set of Ping Irons, a £350 Taylor Made Driver, a £150 pair of Footjoys, all the gear. I sort of said “thanks but no thanks” but he insisted, so that was that. He teed off first, and sliced his ball short & OOB. (And he proceeded to duff every shot he took).  Oioi.

I took a deep breath, stepped up & abso creamed my Driver, right down the Middle, & in doing so took the water out of play. My 2nd shot landed plum in the middle of the water. And that set the pattern, every shot just got worse. Tops, thins, fluff, shanks, the whole repertoire.  

Worse was to come. I was carrying my bag, & there’s a vey steep path from the 5th Green to the 6th Tee. I had to stop 3 times to get my breath. This is not good. Then I hit a shot into a ditch, jumped in to retrieve it (still carrying my bag…) & I could not climb out, the banks were steep, smooth, & slippery mud. Then we reach the 9th, a brutal uphill 550+ yards, even 500+ off the Winter Tee. Try as I might, I just could not get up that hill without stopping 3 or 4 times. My head was spinning, I was gasping for breath, but luckily Matey Boy gave me the opening. “You look whacked mate, we are by the Clubhouse, why don’t you give best for today?”. So that was it, I quit. The dream was over.

[tikay]

Within days, the itch was back, so I was soon at the Range again. Hitting the ball beautifully, too.

I was due to go down to SPT Brighton on the Friday, so I went a day early, having booked a Tee Time at Cuckfield Golf Centre, on the North Downs.  I was pretty excited, I can tell you. It was an odd course, a bit Mickey Mouse but fine for me. Essentially, it was a 9 hole Course with 18 Tee Boxes, each hole had two Tee-Boxes at different angles & lengths, so you could play 18 if you wished. Nah, 9 is plenty at this stage, & I was able to use a Buggy this time.

Sadly, I could not get my swing working until the 9th hole, so I decided to go round again. And played pretty damn well. Proper golfer me.

After 18 holes I was proper whacked though, & frozen to the bone. I had rounds booked at different Sussex Courses every morning while away – Fri/Sat/Sun/Mon -  & I snap cancelled them all. I was too tired, & too cold. Then I spent all day Friday, Saturday & Sunday playing poker at the SPT. What a life, eh?

[tikay]

I was ready now, or I thought I was, so a week later I polled up at Morley Hayes on spec, hired a buggy, & off I went. I’d rather walk, but I’m not up to it yet, & I really ought to get an electric trolley first. (Have you seen the price of them? Yikes).

18 holes, & I hit 17 good, clean, mostly straight tee shots, & hit 2 of the three Par 3 Greens. BOOM.

I’ve played twice more there since, not quite as consistent off the Tee, but good enough to enjoy myself.

We are off & running. I’m woefully short, but no matter, I have no plans to play competitively, & I can hit the ball well enough to get round 18 holes & have an absolute ball.

Mission accomplished, & a lovely Spring, Summer & Autumn awaits, with 2 or 3 rounds every week. Next round? Tuesday. Can’t wait. And if that bloody Vinni nags me again, I’ll tell you how it went. And you can blame Vinni, not me.

Word got round, & several close blonde friends have invited me for a knock & I hope we can do that, but I'm not quite ready yet, just need to get to hit my Irons better first. There's nothing more embarrassing - for both parties - than a competent golfer paired with a duffer.


PS - sorry if anyone had to plough through that lot, but blame Vinni.


And what else besides golf? Plenty, but that's enough for today. More than enough, one might say.

tbc

[nirvana]

I'm about half your age and it's the buggy life for me, so much more ready to play shots as well. Better weather and a buggy and you'll be loving it even more.

I only play about twice a year but can still hack round in about 22-24 over with enough of a sprinkling of truly awesome shots to think I can still play. Love it when I play, always mean to do more and then never do.

Sounds like you'll do rather more because you've got some kind of addictive personality going on but sounds like you're gonna love it

[booder]

Prior to me going to Bermuda in the early 80s i had never played golf.Since returning home i have not played golf.
But  whilst in Bermuda i played 18 holes every Sunday morning followed by a Champagne brunch,and i absolutely loved it.

Proberly the only golf photo i posess.( me in the burgundy trousers)

[Karabiner]

I caddied for a mate, an assistant pro at Wollaton, about thirty years ago at Morley Hayes.

I had to "tack" sailboat-style to get up that steep hill carrying his light bag - it's almost 1-in-2!

I'm very jealous of your golfing exploits as am still hors de combat but am hoping to start with a little chipping this week.

Hopefully we'll arrange a game this summer.

[doubleup]

tikay get yourself a battery powered trolley. Walking up and down hills is plenty enough exercise. The weather has been very crappy up north and the short game area where I do my chipping and putting practice has been flooded or frozen most of the time, so not very fun at all.

If you now have an official handicap, you can get into seniors open competitions, usually decent courses for an entry fee much less than the normal visitors fees. https://www.happygolf.co.uk/ lists them and you can filter for your area. I've already got 7 booked up for the summer and looking forward to all of them.

[celtic]

Nice. Looking forward to the update of Tuesday's golf around Mid-November

I'm shit at golf. Kind of fancy it though. There's a decent looking course here when you come over. Haven't played since Gav and I smashed Chompy's buggy all over a course in Vegas in 2011. Chompy was not impressed and told us to grow up. Pathetic. There's still a YouTube video of it I think.

Which brings me on to a sadder subject. Didn't really feel like posting at the time but you'll remember Gav/Pizzled. I recall us all having breakfast at Gatwick one morning near the runway and I had to keep reminding you to stop watching the planes and eat your breakfast like a good boy.

Well sadly Gav died in October following a short battle with cancer. He was 44 and had loads to look forward to in the coming years.

Anyways, thought I would post as it was kind of linked. No more derailing from me. Let's get on with some updating!

[doubleup]

That's a sad bit of news. RIP Gav.

[Marky147]

I presume that Wynn & Shadow Creek are on the itinerary for the summer?

[booder]

Laid Mother to rest today Teeks.

One of the gentlemen who carried the coffin played in an F A Cup final.

Care to hazard a guess ?

Clue , he scored twice in the quarter final and twice in the semi final.

[booder]

He also scored twice in the final.

[Rod Paradise]

Prior to me going to Bermuda in the early 80s i had never played golf.Since returning home i have not played golf.
But  whilst in Bermuda i played 18 holes every Sunday morning followed by a Champagne brunch,and i absolutely loved it.

Proberly the only golf photo i posess.( me in the burgundy trousers)

Got to ask Booder, what course was this? Looks a bit like the high tee at Castle Harbour, but it's over 40 years since I played there/stole golf balls out of the sea there