The bare facts.
6k chips, 45 min Levels, perfect.
I arrive at the Table to be greeted by a
Sky Poker viewer, who tells all & sundry I'm just the greatest TV Bloke & player that ever lived. Everyone stares at me. Already, I sense this could get embarrassing.
Very first hand, serial limping goes off, & I find A-J on the Button, & make it a pot-sized 350. BB makes it 3,000......WTF? Pass.
Next hand, A-J again, this time I limp, & Matey-Boy makes it 500. Into a 125 Pot. Pass.
"best player that ever lived" I can see them thinking, "best donkey more like".
I need to establish some credibility here, but now it gets worse.
The Chips at Manchester-G for Side Events are the regular, plastic, Grosvenor jobbies. In which the 100's are always grey. Always. They ARE. (Please don't argue, I'm not in the mood).
I find AK in early, limp looking for action behind, they all bloody Limp.
Flop is
OK, let's see what you kids are made of, shall we? Now I'll show you how grown-ups play the game. Ready boys?
I decide to bet 300, & throw in three grey chips. Dealer nearly faints.
"That's THREE THOUSAND tikay" says he, top of voice, mouth ajar, agog. "No, 300 I say". "THREE THOUSAND says Nice Dealer. Everyone is staring at me. Best player that......
Stay composed.
"Ahhh......well, actually, I meant 300 - but it goes. I'm cool with it" I hoarsely croak, straining to hold my buttock cheeks as tight as I can to prevent (further) seepage.
Now, I'm rumbled here, & unless someone thinks I'm in Uber-Moody Mode, I'm gonna get called with any hand. They all Pass. Never worried. But this is starting to become a bit of a nightmare. I am the table oaf.
I dribble down to 5,300, win a pot or two, & I'm OK with 5,900. Seat four, smashing lad, is VERY busy, I note, Raising hand after hand, & I think he's been c-betting with air.
I find Queens, & my friend Raises AGAIN, in late pos, to 400. I make it 1,100. He immediately calls, no dwelling, no acting, CALL!
Flop is 9-4-4. I bet 2,000, he flats it. Alarm bells ring.
I check in the dark pre-turn. Don't know why, just thought I'd try & get a feel for what was going off - is he blagging me?
Turn pairs the 9, it's now 9-4-4-9.
No check from him though - he pretty much sets me in.
Long, long, dwell, this time I think he has it. AK on the come? No, too confident. Pushing me round? For all his Stack? Surely not. I'm on telly. Eventually, I let go. He has
.
I go into recovery mode, & get busy, & do another 1,500 PDQ when I get set in again on the end, & I'm not in great shape - T-5 on a T high Board. Can't be winnning, can it? Pass.
They've rumbled me as a soft-touch now.
Now Serial-Raiser-Matey-Nice-Man makes it 400 UTG, & I have 2k left, & A-Q suited. I need to gamble & 2xUp now. He has nothing, but he can outplay me. Bugger this, I can't Pass if I shove. All-In.
CALL. "Sorry mate" say he. Kings.
I try to exit the crowded & cramped room with as much dignity as I can muster. 48 players ask "you out already tikay?".
Get back to Fridge. PM's as above awaiting from my friends. The thread alive with smart-arses.
Poker. The great leveller.
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