Vegas & The Aftermath - Diary

[tikay]

"Begging/charity" e-Mails come in daily, it's hard to treat them all seriously, we can only spread ourselves so far.

Just read this one, which arrived today....

Hi Guys just click the link below...


So we live a life of luxury compared to most of the rest of the world as you already know. If we get diarrhoea we sit on the toilet for a bit feeling sorry for ourselves before we pop an imodium that someone has lovingly nipped to the garage to get for us, a few glasses of much needed clear, beautiful, water later and we're pretty good to go, hell maybe we'll even stick an episode of Friends on while chomping on a chocolate bar to cheer ourselves up. If a child in poverty stricken Africa gets Diarrhoea to compliment their Malaria they will probably have to lie in excruciating pain, in their own excrement, literally dying of thirst before they slowly die. It's horrific, but it's true. We can help.


I'm climbing Kilimanjaro in July, yes I know I'm a Cheryl Tweedy wannabe but who isn't. The truth is I've wanted to do it for ages and decided it was time to just book it and try and raise some money for charity as well. I'm donating through Comic Relief as every single penny goes directly to help. I'm walking up the Macheme trail on 17th July and will summit Kilimanjaro, at 19,344ft, 8 days later. We'll start in the rainforest and end on the summit in -20 temperatures with winds of up to 80mph. It's gonna be the trip of a lifetime for me and I'm trying to raise a minimum of £1000. Please donate anything, if only a pound, to make this happen. It will take you 2 minutes and if it changes the comfort of 1 human being, it's worth it!


Now, would you have guessed that it came from Michelle Orpe, of all people? I'm a bit surprised, shocked, even, but I don't know why.

She does the "dumb blonde" bit well, but she's brighter than the average bear, & been a good pal for 4 or 5 years now. But I never had her down as one who would do this, for others, & care so deeply about the dreadful humanitarian situation in Central Africa right now. Fair play to her. She's a big softee really, & I hope she raises a bundle of money. And the mountain climbing will help shed some weight off what is one of the most pleasantly ample arses you could wish to see.

Anyway, here's the link. Please support it.

http://www.justgiving.com/orpsterjets-kilitrek

[tikay]

A weird little tale, which I quite liked. Triumph over adversity, & "ain't it amazing the different ways peeps make a living?".

Johnny Gould rung me this morning, this & that, da de da.

He needed some help with constructing a "Show-Reel" - which is what TV peeps - real TV peeps, not amateurs like me - use instead of a CV. It's just a series of clips from TV shows really. "This is me at work", as it were. He just needed contact details for a few peeps.

Think of Johnny Gould, &, whether you like him or not, the thing that comes to mind is "enthusiasm". Full on, in-yer-face, enthusiasm.

I worked with him on Poker 425, Poker Week, & Sky Poker, & any Show with Johnny in was gonna burst with energy & enthusiasm, "this is fun" sort of thing.

He has had a rough year or two. His marriage broke up, & her has a bunch of kids & a big house, so that was all a bit painful. In the midst of all this, & not un-connected, he left Sky Poker very suddenly, in an (unseuccessful) effort to try & hold the marriage together by spending more time at home.

And then, to pile misery upon misery, right at the end of 2008, he received another mortal blow.

He's Presented Baseball on Channel 5 for about 12 years - it's the rock in his life, the stable thing, it pays good, gives him huge profile, he lived the Baseball gig.

So when Channel 5 sat him down & said "we are in money poo, & have to make cuts," he feared the worst. Rightly, because they canned the Show, & canned him. Oops.

But salvation came from the most unlikely of quarters.

He'd started to do the occasional "Charity Auctioneer" gig, which had begun when he attended a fund-raising do & the A-List personality Auctioneer failed to show up. Johnny stepped up to the plate (see what I did there?), & the Auction raised 5 times what had beeen expected.

And that's how he makes his living now - as an Auctioneer at these fund-raising do's. He pretty much guarantees to raise more money - by a factor of several - than any other Auctioneer, by sheer power of enthusiasm & personality. And he gets paid about 4 times more per auction than he ever did for any TV show.

Good luck to him. I hope he makes plenty. Lots, in fact.

[Chompy]

Tikay, the Racing Post launched a weekly two-page poker column today? You seen it?

[tikay]

Tikay, the Racing Post launched a weekly two-page poker column today? You seen it?

No - but I'd like to. I'll try and pick a copy up somewhere.

On a note of pedantry, how can a "column" be two pages? IMO.

[Chompy]

Good point, more of a feature I guess.
Roy the boy wrote a column, tipping Noel Furlong for the Irish Open at 250-1, while the rest of it is a review/preview. Review of the GUKPT ME and a look at what's coming up. Has the potential to be very good.

[tikay]

That's me done for now, I'm in Feltham, having stayed at Jurys, Heathrow, overnight, & now I'm heading to Rocford, Southend, to stay for 2 nights at a "boutique hotel" - ooooh! - called "Maison Renouf".

It's between the Railway Station & Southend Airport. A sort of geeks paradise really.

Just a shame about the journey (& back on Monday) - M3, M25, (lots of it) & A127.

On the M25 yesterday, I saw the most upsetting thing. A swan flew overhead - right across the M25, & Swans fly very low, neck straight as a gun barrel. Moments later, I saw a Swan sitting in the slow lane, facing oncoming traffic, hissing like billy-o, & clearly in distress. A lorry & several cars stopped to rescue it, but I did not dare look, as if they approached the Swan, it would run across the carriageway, & be killed for sure. (Swans need a lot of land to take off).

Swans mate for life, & I reckon the one I saw fly across the M25 was looking for his/her mate, so would probz land there too. I'm puzzled how the Swan came to land on the road - they need water to land on really, in a sort of feet forward, wings outstretched, weeeeeeeeeeee landing. I think that, flying low, it may have been hit by a lorry.

I fretted about it all night. How stupid & pointless is that? But they are such lovely creatures.

[tikay]

Mystery solved!

It was a KLM swan.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=74HV1A8UcPc

[tikay]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vgd426QrtJQ&feature=related

[Lucky]

  Lots, in fact.

Very good!

[snoopy1239]

While we're on the subject of punctuation...

What are your feelings on the use of a semicolon rather than a conjunction or comma?

I saw this last year which tickled me.



I don't use many semicolons; it's a shame.

tikay, the author of this thread, uses lots of commas, and always splits his sentences, most of them, into short little bursts, like this, & he doesn't like, from what I can see, writing the word 'and,' & he often, I believe, adds a couple of words at the end, pretty much.

[EvilPie]

And the mountain climbing will help shed some weight off what is one of the most pleasantly ample arses you could wish to see.

Anyway, here's the link. Please support it.

http://www.justgiving.com/orpsterjets-kilitrek

Biggest let down ever. Supporting Michelle Orpe's ample arse would've been a pleasure.

[EvilPie]

An aeroplane/airplane question:

I have been watching a lot of the program Aircraft Investigation on Sky recently and have noticed something the pilots always say in conversation with the tower.

When letting the tower know who they are the pilots describe themselves as  BA5048 heavy.

What does the heavy mean? I've never heard them say that they are light so wondered if it had any meaning?

[MANTIS01]

Just a quick tip for anybody who wants success with women. Don't use the adjective ample to describe a woman's bottom. Even pleasantly ample is a mistake really cos she will read pleasantly AMPLE

By the way, imo, Miss Orpe has a peach of an arse.

[kinboshi]

Just a quick tip for anybody who wants success with women. Don't use the adjective ample to describe a woman's bottom. Even pleasantly ample is a mistake really cos she will read pleasantly AMPLE

By the way, imo, Miss Orpe has a peach of an arse.

Peach >>>> ample.

Tikay prefers to say "child-bearing hips."

[  ] This is appreciated

[AndrewT]

By the way, imo, Miss Orpe has a peach of an arse.

Bruises easily?

Slightly furry to the touch?

Tastes good in yoghurt?