Vagueness and the Aftermath - A sporadic diary

[RED-DOG]

Friday night, the son with the new car asked if I would help him replace an eight quid gasket on Saturday. Garage had quoted £170 for the job.

When my fingers regain full working order I'll explain how £170 would have been stupendous value.

 

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You can take a village out of Yorkshire but you can't take Yorkshire out of the village.

Click to see full-size image.

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I did eventually find the road leading to the hillside farm, I thought it was a footpath at first it was so narrow.

Click to see full-size image.

I didn't buy the van but we were still invited to "come in and have a bit of dinner".

[RED-DOG]

As we set off on our way home we noticed a burned out pub with graffiti on the walls.

"Ooh" Said Mrs Red, "I bet Ian Brady and Myra Hindley use to go there".

I sighed a long suffering sigh and rolled my eyes.

"They could have, you don't know, Mr doubting Thomas, I'm Googling it"

She googled and found this, concrete proof according to her, that she was right and I'm an idiot.


https://saddind.co.uk/new-work-of-art-for-saddleworth-but-who-painted-it/

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Pulled off the road for a pee and saw this. Can anyone give me a better reason why they shouldn't let women be farmers?

This wouldn't have been allowed when Saddleworth was in Yorkshire.

Click to see full-size image.

[tonytats]

Two guys decide to flip a coin, best of five, each puts £50 into the pot.

Jim take heads, Ron takes tails.

The first three flips come heads, heads, tails, then an emergency happens and the game has to be abandoned.

How should the money be shared out to reflect what has already happened?

Personally I don’t like gambling with friends Tom
It leads to feelings of superiority- as in when he wins which he often does he gloats and I wanna throat punch him
Or inferiority as in I never win that c* nt always does
So the most I’m prepared to bet is a shilling -5p or two shillings / 2 bob -10 p with mates
Because every time we go somewhere as a Group someone has the idea let’s play cards for xxx£ or spoof and I run so bad !
I do however like a bit of credit card roulette for the food bill after an evening out
Pull 4 cards out of your wallet ,credit or loyalty it doesn’t matter, fan them out get your oppo to pick one and guess if the end number is odd or even
Hey presto the loser pays

[RED-DOG]

Two guys decide to flip a coin, best of five, each puts £50 into the pot.

Jim take heads, Ron takes tails.

The first three flips come heads, heads, tails, then an emergency happens and the game has to be abandoned.

How should the money be shared out to reflect what has already happened?

Personally I don’t like gambling with friends Tom
It leads to feelings of superiority- as in when he wins which he often does he gloats and I wanna throat punch him
Or inferiority as in I never win that c* nt always does
So the most I’m prepared to bet is a shilling -5p or two shillings / 2 bob -10 p with mates
Because every time we go somewhere as a Group someone has the idea let’s play cards for xxx£ or spoof and I run so bad !
I do however like a bit of credit card roulette for the food bill after an evening out
Pull 4 cards out of your wallet ,credit or loyalty it doesn’t matter, fan them out get your oppo to pick one and guess if the end number is odd or even
Hey presto the loser pays

Many years ago, on our way home from watching newcomer Stephen Hendry at the Assembly Rooms in Derby, I made the monumental error of spoofing for the bill in a Chinese restaurant BEFORE we had ordered.

I lost and my three so-called friends thought it would be funny to get at least two of everything on the menu.

I cost me fifteen quid, but back then you could buy a house in Newcastle for about seventeen quid.

[tonytats]

A home made snake pie chips n peas n 2 pints of nelsons revenge cost me £102.40 in the admiral wells last week with on a night out with rob boon n his Mrs n mine .
Plus a rather nice desert each

[RED-DOG]

A home made snake pie chips n peas n 2 pints of nelsons revenge cost me £102.40 in the admiral wells last week with on a night out with rob boon n his Mrs n mine .
Plus a rather nice desert each

£100 is nothing these days though Tony.

I can remember trying to get my life savings up to £100. I used seem to be hovering around £60 or £70 for weeks, then I'd have a bit of a touch and get up to £90+....    Then something would go pear shaped and I'd be down to £20 or £30 again.

 

[tonytats]

It certainly doesn’t go far in a pub Tom
these days which is why we drink at home
I can go all week and only spend £7/£8 on a breakfast once or twice
Otherwise cash rarely jumps out of my wallet like it used to

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I used to buy 10 No 6 for 2/3. That's about 11p in modern money.

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There were 240 pennies in a pound.

I wonder what they would weigh? I'm guessing over 4lbs.

[Longines]

So I'm undoubtedly a desk jockey, never been a practical type. My mechanical limits to date have been a few oil changes, the occasional disks and pads and once even managed a wishbone change.

Son announces that a garage has diagnosed a slight oil leak as a weeping oil filter housing gasket. Apparently there are loads of forum posts (of bollocks(c)) and YouTube videos and it's dead easy Dad. Just need to remove a couple of belts, loosen some pulleys, remove the alternator, remove the entire housing and bob's your uncle....

The confidence of youth eh? I wasn't quite so sure. I wander down at 09:30 and son already has the aux belt lying on the driveway. In for a penny and all that.

With the benefit of hindsight, if we knew what we were doing we could have been finished by 11:00. With the benefit of foresight I'd have gladly given him the £170 to get the garage to do it and buggered off back to the sofa.
 
Belts? easy.

Tensioners? simples once we'd got past the traditional trip to the motor factors to buy this weeks new tools: a T50 torx bit and a handy coshing weapon disguised as a 36mm socket.

Pulley removal? Pulley bolt length = 10cm. Distance between bolt and bodywork = 10.5cm. These paperthin sockets obviously haven't made it over from Germany yet. We improvise with our remaining knuckle skin.

Alternator removal? Remove two bolts and convince ourselves there must be a third because the bastard thing was not shifting. Persuasion with a crow bar eventually helped. This should have been a slight clue as to what was to come....

Getting the housing off was a piece of cake. Change the gasket and I'm thinking we can make the pub for lunch at this rate.

Fitting the alternator is the reversal of removal. Like bollocks it is. There is a BMW engine designer somewhere whose ears were on fire this weekend. Imagine trying to perfectly align two bolt holes, one attached to an engine block and one attached to a bulky alternator when the clearance between the four metal faces is measured in angstroms. And you can't see it. Once you've push the alternator into position you have zero chance to move it, all you can do is yank it out and try again.

Four chuffing hours.

Son wraps the belts back in place and starts it up. I'm half expecting four foot sparks and pistons exiting the garage at a rate of knots but to be fair to him, started first time and did not immediately implode.

Apparently next weekend's task is the clutch delay valve. Can't wait.

[RED-DOG]

So I'm undoubtedly a desk jockey, never been a practical type. My mechanical limits to date have been a few oil changes, the occasional disks and pads and once even managed a wishbone change.

Son announces that a garage has diagnosed a slight oil leak as a weeping oil filter housing gasket. Apparently there are loads of forum posts (of bollocks(c)) and YouTube videos and it's dead easy Dad. Just need to remove a couple of belts, loosen some pulleys, remove the alternator, remove the entire housing and bob's your uncle....

The confidence of youth eh? I wasn't quite so sure. I wander down at 09:30 and son already has the aux belt lying on the driveway. In for a penny and all that.

With the benefit of hindsight, if we knew what we were doing we could have been finished by 11:00. With the benefit of foresight I'd have gladly given him the £170 to get the garage to do it and buggered off back to the sofa.
 
Belts? easy.

Tensioners? simples once we'd got past the traditional trip to the motor factors to buy this weeks new tools: a T50 torx bit and a handy coshing weapon disguised as a 36mm socket.

Pulley removal? Pulley bolt length = 10cm. Distance between bolt and bodywork = 10.5cm. These paperthin sockets obviously haven't made it over from Germany yet. We improvise with our remaining knuckle skin.

Alternator removal? Remove two bolts and convince ourselves there must be a third because the bastard thing was not shifting. Persuasion with a crow bar eventually helped. This should have been a slight clue as to what was to come....

Getting the housing off was a piece of cake. Change the gasket and I'm thinking we can make the pub for lunch at this rate.

Fitting the alternator is the reversal of removal. Like bollocks it is. There is a BMW engine designer somewhere whose ears were on fire this weekend. Imagine trying to perfectly align two bolt holes, one attached to an engine block and one attached to a bulky alternator when the clearance between the four metal faces is measured in angstroms. And you can't see it. Once you've push the alternator into position you have zero chance to move it, all you can do is yank it out and try again.

Four chuffing hours.

Son wraps the belts back in place and starts it up. I'm half expecting four foot sparks and pistons exiting the garage at a rate of knots but to be fair to him, started first time and did not immediately implode.

Apparently next weekend's task is the clutch delay valve. Can't wait.

Please don't stop doing the DIY car repair projects, you describe them so accurately and passionately It's like I'm doing these things for the first time all over again, only this time I can laugh and enjoy it.

Every mechanic in the world has been there and suffered with you, and we all have the scars, both mental and physical, to prove it.

Kudos Mr Long & son, you not only walk the walk, you torx the torque.

[booder]

So I'm undoubtedly a desk jockey, never been a practical type. My mechanical limits to date have been a few oil changes, the occasional disks and pads and once even managed a wishbone change.

Son announces that a garage has diagnosed a slight oil leak as a weeping oil filter housing gasket. Apparently there are loads of forum posts (of bollocks(c)) and YouTube videos and it's dead easy Dad. Just need to remove a couple of belts, loosen some pulleys, remove the alternator, remove the entire housing and bob's your uncle....

The confidence of youth eh? I wasn't quite so sure. I wander down at 09:30 and son already has the aux belt lying on the driveway. In for a penny and all that.

With the benefit of hindsight, if we knew what we were doing we could have been finished by 11:00. With the benefit of foresight I'd have gladly given him the £170 to get the garage to do it and buggered off back to the sofa.
 
Belts? easy.

Tensioners? simples once we'd got past the traditional trip to the motor factors to buy this weeks new tools: a T50 torx bit and a handy coshing weapon disguised as a 36mm socket.

Pulley removal? Pulley bolt length = 10cm. Distance between bolt and bodywork = 10.5cm. These paperthin sockets obviously haven't made it over from Germany yet. We improvise with our remaining knuckle skin.

Alternator removal? Remove two bolts and convince ourselves there must be a third because the bastard thing was not shifting. Persuasion with a crow bar eventually helped. This should have been a slight clue as to what was to come....

Getting the housing off was a piece of cake. Change the gasket and I'm thinking we can make the pub for lunch at this rate.

Fitting the alternator is the reversal of removal. Like bollocks it is. There is a BMW engine designer somewhere whose ears were on fire this weekend. Imagine trying to perfectly align two bolt holes, one attached to an engine block and one attached to a bulky alternator when the clearance between the four metal faces is measured in angstroms. And you can't see it. Once you've push the alternator into position you have zero chance to move it, all you can do is yank it out and try again.

Four chuffing hours.

Son wraps the belts back in place and starts it up. I'm half expecting four foot sparks and pistons exiting the garage at a rate of knots but to be fair to him, started first time and did not immediately implode.

Apparently next weekend's task is the clutch delay valve. Can't wait.

Please don't stop doing the DIY car repair projects, you describe them so accurately and passionately It's like I'm doing these things for the first time all over again, only this time I can laugh and enjoy it.

Every mechanic in the world has been there and suffered with you, and we all have the scars, both mental and physical, to prove it.

Kudos Mr Long & son, you not only walk the walk, you torx the torque.

Agree with Tom.
Brings back many memories of car maintenance.