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Author Topic: Vagueness and the Aftermath - A sporadic diary  (Read 3587790 times)
Longines
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« Reply #31770 on: October 31, 2019, 01:54:35 PM »

https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/Appendix:Glossary_of_Scottish_slang_and_jargon

clarty was the one I was always called as a kid.
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« Reply #31771 on: October 31, 2019, 04:07:34 PM »

A couple of my dads friends were involved in a great scam at the local scrapyard. One owned a couple of lorries and the other a crane on the back of a truck. They used to take one of the lorries full of scrap late in the day not leaving enough time for the yard to empty the lorry but cannily enough time was left to get paid. They would make sure the full lorry was parked up near the perimeter fence of the yard and over night they would bring in the crane and an empty lorry to the other side of the fence. Empty the load and collect the lorry from the yard the next day. Only to resell the scrap back to the yard at a later date.
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Ah! The element of surprise
Rod Paradise
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« Reply #31772 on: October 31, 2019, 05:34:54 PM »


Loving these stories guys.

Rod, what is a "heid-the-baw"?
Longines got it in his link, an idiot. Probably not politically correct with the recent findings of increased risk of dementia for professional footballers...
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« Reply #31773 on: October 31, 2019, 08:09:18 PM »



I had a friend, (sadly passed on) who picked up the nickname heid-the-baw. I never knew what it meant until now, and I don't think he did either.

He was a sassenach like me though
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« Reply #31774 on: November 01, 2019, 12:13:44 PM »

Is there anything more disappointing than a steak that looks great but turns out to be tough and tasteless?

Mrs Red & I had one, (one each that is) On Sunday.

Mine was so bad I Christened it Barry Nevill, then laughed at my own joke all evening.

Mrs Red thinks I'm mental. (She could be right)

Sorry Bazza, no offence intended.







 
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« Reply #31775 on: November 01, 2019, 01:08:16 PM »

I had to go here yesterday to get some treatment for my plantar fasciitis. (Look it up, it's educational).  

What a great facility. Funded, I was told, by the 2012 olympics.



 Click to see full-size image.

 Click to see full-size image.






My appointment letter advised me to bring along some shorts, so I grabbed an old pair from the cupboard. Mrs Red snatched them from me.

"No way you're taking those disgusting old things. Here, take this new pair... if they still fit you"

I thought her last remark might have been a slur on my physique but decided on reflection she was probably just worried that she had stored them incorrectly and they had shrunk.

"And don't bloody lose them or I'll rip your lights out" She called playfully as I drove away.

I walked into reception and realised that I'd left the shorts on the passenger seat of the car, so I rushed back to get them.

When the consultant called me in, I left them in the waiting room and had to go back for them.

The consultant told me to remove my shoes, socks and trousers. "Shall I put my shorts on?" I asked excitedly.

"No, you'll be fine as you are."

After my examination I was passed on to a physiotherapist who took me into to another room. Halfway through our session I remembered that I had left my shorts in the consultant's room.

"Don't worry" The physiotherapist said, "We'll pick them up before we leave" and so we did. I tucked them under my arm and went back to reception to book my next appointment. Obviously I left without the shorts but by some miracle remembered them again when I got to the car.

I ran back to get them and I popped to the loo at the same time


When I got home the first thing that Mrs Red said was, "Where are your new shorts?" (She seemed to say the word 'new' with particular venom)

I checked under my arm, not there. I checked the car too, not there either.

This is a true story.

I can't tell you how mortified I am to be so scatter-brained, and I can only guess at how long Mrs Red will make me wait before allowing me access to my other pair of good shorts.

« Last Edit: November 01, 2019, 01:10:49 PM by RED-DOG » Logged

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« Reply #31776 on: November 01, 2019, 02:18:10 PM »

I had to go here yesterday to get some treatment for my plantar fasciitis. (Look it up, it's educational).  

Plantar fasciitis is horrible, and one of the oddest conditions I've ever experienced.

The first time I had it, I woke up one morning and pretty much screamed from the totally unexpected pain as my foot touched the ground.  Having gone to bed with no symptoms my first thought was that I'd somehow broken my foot by kicking the bedpost in my sleep.

Having made it to the doctors, and him having ruled out gout as a cause of the pain, he said it was plantar fasciitis and that the pain would simply go away again in a few days.  At this stage I was ready to kill him, as there was no way pain on this scale was simply going to go away.  His advice was to avoid walking barefoot or just in socks at home, as that was one of the main causes.

I spent the next 3 or 4 days barely able to make contact with the ground on the bad foot, and spent the time devising increasingly painful ways to murder the GP, before waking up one morning and having the pain miraculously disappear overnight, as advised.


Not sure if you've tried them, Tom, but I've got some socks that help with the condition.  They're kind of mini-compression socks with open toes, so I wear them under normal socks when needed, but they do seem to help when I suspect that it might be about to flare up again.
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« Reply #31777 on: November 01, 2019, 03:41:32 PM »

I had to go here yesterday to get some treatment for my plantar fasciitis. (Look it up, it's educational).  

Plantar fasciitis is horrible, and one of the oddest conditions I've ever experienced.

The first time I had it, I woke up one morning and pretty much screamed from the totally unexpected pain as my foot touched the ground.  Having gone to bed with no symptoms my first thought was that I'd somehow broken my foot by kicking the bedpost in my sleep.

Having made it to the doctors, and him having ruled out gout as a cause of the pain, he said it was plantar fasciitis and that the pain would simply go away again in a few days.  At this stage I was ready to kill him, as there was no way pain on this scale was simply going to go away.  His advice was to avoid walking barefoot or just in socks at home, as that was one of the main causes.

I spent the next 3 or 4 days barely able to make contact with the ground on the bad foot, and spent the time devising increasingly painful ways to murder the GP, before waking up one morning and having the pain miraculously disappear overnight, as advised.


Not sure if you've tried them, Tom, but I've got some socks that help with the condition.  They're kind of mini-compression socks with open toes, so I wear them under normal socks when needed, but they do seem to help when I suspect that it might be about to flare up again.


Mine started in 2014 and I was told that 95% of cases clear up in a few days. Unfortunately mine was in the other 5% that become chronic.

I tried every remedy known to man including physio, shoe inserts, cortisone injections, human sacrifice, everything.

After about two years I got a referral to the Sports Medicine Centre at Loughborough Uni, I went for a consultation and a week before my treatment was to commence I noticed a slight improvement.

They advised me to see how it went for a few weeks and lo and behold, it got completely better.


It stayed away for a couple of years but I think all the pain free movement went to my head. I was walking miles, jogging, hill climbing etc until, six months ago, BAM! It came back.

This time around I managed to get myself fast-tracked back the the Sports Medicine Centre and wouldn't you know it, a week before my appointment I noticed some improvement.

I think just the threat of the treatment does the trick.

Time will tell.




PS- All stories of illness, malady, ailment, disability, sickness, malaise & infirmity are welcome on this thread.

Let's liven the place up a bit.
« Last Edit: November 01, 2019, 03:43:23 PM by RED-DOG » Logged

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Longines
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« Reply #31778 on: November 01, 2019, 03:47:31 PM »

Didn't know this was a thing, I've had it a few times in the past although luckily only lasted for a few days.
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« Reply #31779 on: November 01, 2019, 04:01:02 PM »

One of the things the physio told me to do was to spell out the alphabet by doing imaginary writing with with my toes under the bedclothes before getting out of bed in the morning.

Mrs Red: "Make a cuppa".

"I can't".

"Why not?"

"I'm imaginary writing the alphabet with my toes".

(It didn't go down as well as I'd hoped)
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« Reply #31780 on: November 01, 2019, 04:09:32 PM »

PF is a real shock the first time it hits you. Like the Sherriff my first bout came out of the blue, it’s quite scary to just wake up and not be able to put your foot to the floor.
One of the exercises I was given by my GP involved rolling a can back and forward with the sole of my feet. It may have helped. Who can tell with a condition that just decides to occur and ease at random times.

It’s painful mind, but nowhere near as painful as a dislocated replacement hip joint.
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« Reply #31781 on: November 01, 2019, 04:16:24 PM »

PF is a real shock the first time it hits you. Like the Sherriff my first bout came out of the blue, it’s quite scary to just wake up and not be able to put your foot to the floor.
One of the exercises I was given by my GP involved rolling a can back and forward with the sole of my feet. It may have helped. Who can tell with a condition that just decides to occur and ease at random times.

It’s painful mind, but nowhere near as painful as a dislocated replacement hip joint.


Woo! That sounds fun Dave.

I didn't even know you could dislocate a replacement joint. I assumed it was kind like a tow-bar ball hitch, impossible to detach accidentally.
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« Reply #31782 on: November 01, 2019, 04:25:59 PM »

When I come to think about it, I hear people say they have to wait for a hip replacement because if they have it too early it will wear out before they kick the mortal bucket.

What are they making these joints out of, cheese?
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Longines
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« Reply #31783 on: November 01, 2019, 04:43:04 PM »


It’s painful mind, but nowhere near as painful as a dislocated replacement hip joint.

Good opener for a pain I've experienced top 10, least to most:

PF
infected corneal abrasion
drain pipes being removed post heart surgery
properly stubbed toe
tooth abscess
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« Reply #31784 on: November 01, 2019, 05:05:22 PM »


It’s painful mind, but nowhere near as painful as a dislocated replacement hip joint.


infected corneal abrasion



EEEEOOOOWWWCH!
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