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Author Topic: Vagueness and the Aftermath - A sporadic diary  (Read 3587075 times)
RED-DOG
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« Reply #32115 on: December 14, 2019, 10:25:16 AM »

Did you spot the trick he pulled off?


Come on then Teddy, what was the trick?
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« Reply #32116 on: December 14, 2019, 12:06:12 PM »

Some people achieve such a lot in one lifetime.


Clive James: The obituary he wrote himself






The following Note on the Author is based on the one appended to As of This Writing, the selection from my essays published in the USA by Norton in 2003. Since the facts are accurate, and the tone is a bit less embarrassing than in many similar excursions, I am glad to assure editors, producers, journalists and events organizers that if they really, sincerely need to run a biographical note they should feel free to quote any or all of the following, preferably keeping in mind that shorter is better, and that a single line is best. There are no copyright problems, so this piece, or part of it, will serve as a cheaper obituary than anything most newspapers are likely to have in the freezer. I will keep updating it until they carry me to the slab, during which journey I will try to give details of my final medication.






https://www.cambridgeindependent.co.uk/news/clive-james-the-obituary-he-wrote-himself-9091610/
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« Reply #32117 on: December 14, 2019, 12:48:32 PM »

 Click to see full-size image.
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« Reply #32118 on: December 14, 2019, 03:25:38 PM »

I do hope that everyone has been watching Sir Dave's fabulous Seven Worlds, One Planet series.


I was totally mesmerised by this snake's hunting adaptation.










It was one of slow burn things for me, in the couple of weeks since I saw the prog I've found myself contemplating it over and over again. I mean, I understand the basics of evolution, but I can't imagine the time scale for something like this to develop and become perfected.

It really highlights the brevity of a human life.
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« Reply #32119 on: December 14, 2019, 05:12:21 PM »


Blimey.
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« Reply #32120 on: December 14, 2019, 06:03:40 PM »

I almost spilled my tea and it was sitting in front of me on the table.
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« Reply #32121 on: December 15, 2019, 09:00:13 AM »


How many stages did you think there were in the lifecycle of a ladybird?

This astonishing process, complex beyond belief, & with an amazing end product, happens billions of times every year. Extraordinary.


My only previous knowledge of ladybirds was that little ditty we used to sing as kids, "Ladybird ladybird, fly away home, your house is on fire your children shall burn".



https://twitter.com/dodo/status/1206046217861574656
« Last Edit: December 15, 2019, 09:20:10 AM by tikay » Logged

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« Reply #32122 on: December 15, 2019, 09:41:58 AM »


How many stages did you think there were in the lifecycle of a ladybird?

This astonishing process, complex beyond belief, & with an amazing end product, happens billions of times every year. Extraordinary.


My only previous knowledge of ladybirds was that little ditty we used to sing as kids, "Ladybird ladybird, fly away home, your house is on fire your children shall burn".



https://twitter.com/dodo/status/1206046217861574656



Pupation is one of natures most amazing feats.

Basically a fully formed living creature's outside turns into a saucepan while it's inside turns into soup. The soup then rearranges itself into an entirely different creature, gets out of the saucepan and continues with its life.

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« Reply #32123 on: December 15, 2019, 10:30:22 AM »


How many stages did you think there were in the lifecycle of a ladybird?

This astonishing process, complex beyond belief, & with an amazing end product, happens billions of times every year. Extraordinary.


My only previous knowledge of ladybirds was that little ditty we used to sing as kids, "Ladybird ladybird, fly away home, your house is on fire your children shall burn".



https://twitter.com/dodo/status/1206046217861574656



Pupation is one of natures most amazing feats.

Basically a fully formed living creature's outside turns into a saucepan while it's inside turns into soup. The soup then rearranges itself into an entirely different creature, gets out of the saucepan and continues with its life.



Yup, that sums it up pretty well.

Nature has so many extraordinary tricks, but that must be amongst the best of them all.

Here's the Monarch butterfly version of the trick. Quite how picture 2 becomes picture 3 is extraordinary.


 Click to see full-size image.



 
 Click to see full-size image.




 Click to see full-size image.





  
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« Reply #32124 on: December 15, 2019, 12:48:09 PM »

Did you spot the trick he pulled off?

No.
No I didn't.

hehe.

better man than i, it had to be pointed out to me.
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« Reply #32125 on: December 15, 2019, 12:50:27 PM »

Did you spot the trick he pulled off?

No.
No I didn't.

hehe.

better man than i, it had to be pointed out to me.


Thanks Ted. I just wanted confirmation that that was it and I wasn't missing something else.
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He who laughs last didn't get it.


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« Reply #32126 on: December 15, 2019, 03:37:18 PM »

I always just have Ring Ring, Ring Ring as the ringtone on my phone, but several members of my family have now gone that way too, so an incoming call sends us all reaching for our pockets or handbags.

I decided to leave them to it and download something a bit more distinctive. A piece of music would be OK, so long as it ticked certain boxes.

Something that I like obv.
Not too common.
A soft, quiet-ish start but quickly building to some strident notes if I didn't hear it straight away.

I settled on the Bond theme.


My wife is called Muzelley, but I usually shorten it to Zel or Zelly.

My Daughter is also called Muzelley. (So is my Granddaughter but that's a different story)


Anyway, millions of years ago when I got my first phone, it was capable of storing up to 10 numbers, one for each digit on the keypad. There was no way of assigning a name to a digit, you just had to remember who's number was stored where.


By the time Mrs Red, (Zelly) got a phone many years later, you could store as many numbers as you liked, and what's more, you could add a name.

It still wasn't an easy process though, there was no touch screen, you had to press the keypad buttons, (often several times) to produce each letter.

Putting something like a hundred phone numbers in was a real pain in the arse so like most people I abbreviated the well known and often used ones. I used a Z for my wife Zelly and, to avoid confusion, an M for my daughter Muzelley and now, even with my modern phone, that is the way it has stayed.



I was with a group of friends and my phone was face up on the table when I received a call. At this very moment I saw the unintended consequences of my actions for the first time. The Bond theme filled the air and a big letter M flashed on the screen....

I'm hoping they will run out of puns soon.


 


https://www.facebook.com/catfeinecatcafe/videos/522310368539454/?t=1
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« Reply #32127 on: December 16, 2019, 12:06:10 AM »


Why the buzz Tom ? Did you used to buy and sell cars ?
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« Reply #32128 on: December 16, 2019, 12:08:37 PM »

I did buy the odd car Lisa but mostly vans and light commercials.

Cars were a pain in the arse. Difficult to buy cheap because the owners had fallen in love with them and difficult to sell because prospective buyers wanted finance and a warrenty, nether of which I could provide.

Commercial vehicles on the other hand were a different kettle of fish, there was always a good supply of buyers for white vans, small tipper lorries etc.

Most of the stuff I bought and sold was from and to 'private individuals'. Self employed tradesmen of all kinds who either needed to sell or buy a van in a hurry. Cash in hand types who were not registered for VAT and did not provide or require a guarantee or a receipt with an amount written on it.

I used to buy and sell through AutoTrader, which created a dilemma because when the magazine came out on a Thursday morning I needed to be out on the road looking at the bargains and at home selling the stuff I bought last week.

The solution was to work in partnership with someone. One week I would be the buyer and he the seller, next week vice versa.

Because we were living in caravans, often on the roadside, we had to aquire the services of a friendly house owner so that we could park the vehicles outside and pretend that we lived there.

The other problem with the Auto Trader coming out once a week was that on Thursday morning, everyone in the motor trade was eagerly scanning its pages at the same time, trying to spot the best bargains and get there before anyone else.

One night, after a rare visit to a casino, I was walking past Sheffield train station at about 4am when I noticed a lorry being loaded with big bundles of newspapers and magazines. Among them was the Auto Trader.

I approached the bloke doing the loading and tried to buy a copy. To my amazement he gave me a lecture on why he shouldn't do it, and then sold me one for a quid, which at the time was face value.

After that I went to the casino every Wednesday night and bought the Auto Trader from the bloke at Sheffield train station.

I've never been the type of gambler that loses control but going to the casino with a wad big enough to buy a vehicle or two was dangerous. Not because I might blow the lot, there was zero chance if that, but I might lose more than I wanted to, so I used to take say, £50 max.

Even if I was running bad I could usually make £50 last most of the night because back then there were 25p boxes on blackjack and 25p roulette tables.

Still, I always used to leave a quid in the car so that if I went skint, I could still buy the Auto Trader. (I won't tell you how often I went outside, took the pound from the car and lost that too, causing me to have to beg the bloke at the station to let me pay double next time).


Merry Christmas Lisa. Give Pete a kiss for me. XX


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« Reply #32129 on: December 16, 2019, 01:04:04 PM »

Ringing someone about the vehicle they had advertised for sale at 4am in the morning while they were still wrapped tightly in the arms of Hypnos could occasionally be hilarious or dangerous.

Sometimes the befuddled seller, having at this ungodly hour no recollection of placing the ad, and being unable to drag himself into a state of full wakefulness, couldn't understand why I was calling and kept repeating, "What?" "Who is it again?"

Others became incandescent with rage that I would ring them so early.

You had to be very careful when someone who had been threatening to punch your lights out suddenly calmed down and decided that you should come and see the vehicle and gave you their address.


  
« Last Edit: December 16, 2019, 01:58:50 PM by RED-DOG » Logged

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