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Author Topic: BlueSquare.com GUKPT Walsall - Day 1A  (Read 23490 times)
snoopy1239
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« on: February 26, 2009, 03:34:30 AM »

Tikay-O, Lord of the Thunderblondes, meets his second in command and most trusted protector, Tightgra, at the blonde's Lair. "What is it?" asks Tikay-O while stroking his mane inquisitively. "Great news," replies Tightgra, his tail swishing excitedly behind him. "We can update Walsall!" "How so?" asks Tikay-O with his whiskers a quiver. "We have no milk with which to bargain with." "Oh contrare, Lord Tikay-O," comes the response. "There has been a donation." "But from who?"

The door slides open and in pounces Chompthro, his trusted fighting stick in one hand, and a bowel of milk in the other. Tightgra's eyes bulge as he spots the milk. "I am the mystery sponsor, your Lord." "Chompthro!" exclaims Tikay-O. "It cannot be, you haven't won a comp since the eighties. Have you struck gold in the Third Earth lottery?" "No, Lord Tikay-O, I managed to sell the Hoverblonde for this bowel of milk, with which we can now use to pay an updater at Walsall." "Why Chompthro, you're a genius," praises Tikay-O. "We never needed that bloody thing anyway. I mean, we're not Top Gear, how many vehicles do we want, what's wrong with just using the blondeTank?" "Well, I like the Tank, my Lord, but he's not the brightest." "No, I mean the vehicle, you buffoon." "I agree with you, Lord Tikay-O," purrs Tightgra excitedly. "We don't do EPTs anymore, so we have no need for the Hoverblonde, and I do love a spot of milk. Is it Pasteurised?"

As Tikay-O goes to take the milk, Chompthro pulls back. "There's one condition though," he warns. "My arch nemesis and ever-living source of evil, Sicilian-Ra, must be insulted in the tournament clock." "This can be arranged," answers Tightgra swiftly. "Sicillian-Ra has a Broadband connection in the Black Pyramid and will undoubtedly read the insult." On that reassuring note, Chompthro passes Tikay-O the milk.

"But who can we lure in with our newly acquired milk at such short notice?" asks Tightgra worriedly. "Don't worry," calms Tikay-O as he casually lifts his sword into the air. "THUNDER!" Tikay-O swipes the air with his sword like a child with a light saber. "THUNDER!... THUNDER!" Tightgra checks his watch and waves his hand impatiently. "THUNDERBLONDES HOOOOOOOOOO!!!" There's a flash of light and, from the pulsating Eye of the Thundera, a giant symbol of a blonde poker chip with a naked woman in the middle appears in the sky. "Wow, you can see the nipples when it's that big." observes Tightgra as his tail wags frantically. "Is she the Ho?" asks Chompthro.

In a nearby village, former Thunderblondes WilySnoopy and WilyFloppy are participating in a spot of heads up for rolls. "You're getting pwned, ya fish," slates WilyFloppy. As WilySnoopy looks up at the summons in the sky, WilyFloppy swipes some chips from his stack. "Lolz, I wonder what they want," ponders WilySnoopy. "They probably want us to update Walsall, imo" replies WilyFloppy, adding the chips to his own stack. "I read it on the forum earlier." "Well, I'd hate to be greedy, Grosvenor Walsall is possibly the most exotic location on Third Earth with its er... nearby cinema and stuff. Why don't you take the job?" "No, 'fraid not, it's my mother's birthday. You should go." WilySnoopy rubs his chin pensively. "Well, I suppose they do have a free buffet. It's not tez is it?" "[ ] Course not, it's tippety-top," replies WilyFloppy rubbing his stomach. "Yum yum, Walsall buffet ftw." "Well, in that case, I'll do it." WilyFloppy sniggers mischievously as WilySnoopy jumps on his tractor and makes his way towards the giant chip.

WilySnoopy joins Tikay-O, Tightgra and Chompthro in the blonde's Lair. "Thanks for offering to update, WilySnoopy," says Tikay-O. "There's a bowel of milk in it for you if you can survive three days." Tightgra turns to Chompthro and whispers, "Ha, he wont' stand a chance going solo with that field, he'll collapse before the end of Day 2 and that bowel of milk will be all mine... all mine! You hear me, aaaaall mineeeee!!! Moahahahaha!" "Yes, I hear you," growls Chompthro. "Stop shouting, you're meant to be whispering." WilySnoopy looks over suspiciously as Tightgra licks his lips.   

"Survival will be easy," claims WilySnoopy confidently, as I have a secret weapon. Suddenly, the window flings open, a pole hits the floor and in vaults LittleMissCheetara, notepad and pen in hand. "Meet my helper for the weekend," continues WilySnoopy. Tightgra's shoulders drop. "Oh fiddlesticks, I really wanted that bowel of milk." "Come on, hop to it!" orders LittleMissCheetara as she pokes WilySnoopy's tush with her pole. "Can't stand around here all day, we've got an update to do."
« Last Edit: February 26, 2009, 11:56:46 AM by snoopy1239 » Logged
NoflopsHomer
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« Reply #1 on: February 26, 2009, 04:12:05 AM »

Awesome! Cheesy


But no mention of JungleSnarf?
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JungleCat03
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« Reply #2 on: February 26, 2009, 04:24:48 AM »

Awesome! Cheesy


But no mention of JungleSnarf?

I've eaten zebra, ostrich, crocodile and kangaroo recently but I draw the line at drinking bowels of milk!

lol good work snoops!
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sofa----king
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« Reply #3 on: February 26, 2009, 06:59:08 AM »

snoops,.,.,you should write for comics.,.,i was getting into it..,.,lol.,.gl updating .,.,.,and wish farting martyn some luck from me.,.,.,i wont be following as i am heading north for the 250 re-but event in turkey/cyprus
if you see chicken joe,,tell him im playing with his brother over the weekend shaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...thnx
small world...
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taximan007
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« Reply #4 on: February 26, 2009, 08:22:43 AM »

If Carlsberg did updates!!

Well they don't because they DON'T have SNOOPY, pure genius young beagle.
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humbled to be included alongside such esteemed people - thank you
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« Reply #5 on: February 26, 2009, 09:27:26 AM »

There you have why there is nothing like a blonde update.

Snoopy that was brilliant, looking forward to reading the rest tonight 
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snoopy1239
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« Reply #6 on: February 26, 2009, 12:34:20 PM »

Greeting, peeps, and welcome to the opening day of this year's GUKPT Walsall, an event previously won by Jeff Kimber and Jerome Bradpiece. Yes, although you had dreams of others, I'm afraid you've been lumbered with me. Like Hulk Hogan answering the call of Vince McMahan for a one off Wrestlemania appearance, I just couldn't resist the fabric of blonde's fibre and so immediately revved up the ol' tractor and zipped my way down the M1.

Today should you be your usual affair, Golden Yoyo Balls gambling early doors, The Worm grinding like no man has ever ground before, Neil Channing grinning like the Joker as scoops up the chip, and Red-Dog getting in his Full English before the close of level one. Whatever happens, I shall be on hand, and at ringside, to collate as much information as is humanly possible with the aid of my trusted assistant for the day, littlemissC. Think Paul Daniels and Debbie Magee.

Play starts at 2pm sharp, so be there, or be circle. Shit, is that the time, must dash.
« Last Edit: February 26, 2009, 12:37:11 PM by snoopy1239 » Logged
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« Reply #7 on: February 26, 2009, 12:53:55 PM »

glglglgl to messrs trigg + evans, accumulate mad dimez plz.
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easypickings
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« Reply #8 on: February 26, 2009, 01:09:25 PM »

Good luck to the real deal, Tommmmmmy Rutter.

And to Trigg, Nicky, and all the other blondes playing today.
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Blatch
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« Reply #9 on: February 26, 2009, 01:32:05 PM »

good luck all blondies and fran Smiley
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« Reply #10 on: February 26, 2009, 01:51:49 PM »

James Williams and Andy Gibb FTW!!!!!!!
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snoopy1239
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« Reply #11 on: February 26, 2009, 02:02:19 PM »

According to my insider, we're about ten minutes away from kick off here at Grosvenor Walsall, although the history books would suggest otherwise. As you can see, the chips are out and the dealers are poised like coiled springs for action. We've even got the press (although sadly no wireless internet connection). All we need now is the players, who seem to be spread across the roulette wheel, bar and the M6 motorway (not literally lying across the motorway).



« Last Edit: February 26, 2009, 02:05:51 PM by snoopy1239 » Logged
snoopy1239
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« Reply #12 on: February 26, 2009, 02:12:07 PM »

And just like that, as Mr Cooper used to say...

Before



After

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T8MML
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« Reply #13 on: February 26, 2009, 02:13:23 PM »

And just like that, as Mr Cooper used to say...

Before



After


wow greek Jack still in - wp sir!
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snoopy1239
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« Reply #14 on: February 26, 2009, 02:20:11 PM »

And we're off, all 101 of them, although so is my internet connection which is going in and out more than the hokey-cokey.
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