Degenerate Diaries: The Chronicles Pt. 2

[EvilPie]

Fantastic.

[titaniumbean]

 


MOARRRRRRR

[cambridgealex]

see sean. plenty of readers. keep it coming.

[titaniumbean]

see sean. plenty of readers. keep it coming.

Didn't you used to have a diary once?

It's all about the dejected one ! 

[cambridgealex]

see sean. plenty of readers. keep it coming.

Didn't you used to have a diary once?

It's all about the dejected one ! 

mwahhaahhhhhhhhh 

[PizzicatoXev]

After I turned broadway in the second hand of the night and doubled up, the topic of age came up in conversation. Allow me to best explain the segue: "must be nice" -> "do you want to crossbook?" -> "we can't play games like that, we all have children/a mortgage apart from Sean" -> "Sean doesn't have kids? How old is he?" For those of you who don't know, I'm 23. Barely legal. However, after getting the table in question to guess how old I was, it was revealed that my perceived age range is between 29 and 36. That's a deviation of around 55%. What in the world is going on?

Even though I'm keeping one mind's eye open for signs of being middle-aged, a lot was revealed in my morning grocery shop. First of all, I woke up and immediately thought about Yorkshire tea. But that's not uncommon, right? Not many people on this forum are morning people, we need caffeine to function, it's only a natural human response to get excited about the consumption of a necessity. Then I brought in my mail, clutching my back as I bent over to pick it up. My bank are offering me several pension plans. That's fine. The idea is to start planning for being old, before you're old, no need to worry... So I'm getting in my car to drive down to Tesco, and it suddenly occurred to me that I can't get in or out of a chair without groaning. Then I popped a CD in the stereo (because I can't keep up with kids and their mp3 players - hey, at least I didn't slip in a cassette. Or a vinyl.) and before I know it, I'm cranking up the volume and singing along to Eric Clapton. And reminiscing about how inexpensive petrol was "in my day." I actually said "oooh," when I found a banana loaf in the bargain bin. All of a sudden, 36 doesn't seem like such a ludicrous guess. As soon as a got home, I took a look in the mirror, and apparently my hairline was so frightened by the middle aged monster that stood before it that it backpedaled half way up my scalp. Oh well, at least now I have that forehead that I was so lacking as a teenager.

Anyway, I'm off to pour myself a glass of prune juice, soak my feet in some warm salty water, and fall asleep drooling in front on the television, before I drop my grandchildren off at football practice and my wife off at aerobics. Old money in spandex. Just thinking about it makes me wish I could still get an erection. Peace.

Priceless!

Interestingly enough, I had the same issues when I was your age with peoples perception of my age Sean... Must be a family thing or something...

[zerofive]

After I turned broadway in the second hand of the night and doubled up, the topic of age came up in conversation. Allow me to best explain the segue: "must be nice" -> "do you want to crossbook?" -> "we can't play games like that, we all have children/a mortgage apart from Sean" -> "Sean doesn't have kids? How old is he?" For those of you who don't know, I'm 23. Barely legal. However, after getting the table in question to guess how old I was, it was revealed that my perceived age range is between 29 and 36. That's a deviation of around 55%. What in the world is going on?

Even though I'm keeping one mind's eye open for signs of being middle-aged, a lot was revealed in my morning grocery shop. First of all, I woke up and immediately thought about Yorkshire tea. But that's not uncommon, right? Not many people on this forum are morning people, we need caffeine to function, it's only a natural human response to get excited about the consumption of a necessity. Then I brought in my mail, clutching my back as I bent over to pick it up. My bank are offering me several pension plans. That's fine. The idea is to start planning for being old, before you're old, no need to worry... So I'm getting in my car to drive down to Tesco, and it suddenly occurred to me that I can't get in or out of a chair without groaning. Then I popped a CD in the stereo (because I can't keep up with kids and their mp3 players - hey, at least I didn't slip in a cassette. Or a vinyl.) and before I know it, I'm cranking up the volume and singing along to Eric Clapton. And reminiscing about how inexpensive petrol was "in my day." I actually said "oooh," when I found a banana loaf in the bargain bin. All of a sudden, 36 doesn't seem like such a ludicrous guess. As soon as a got home, I took a look in the mirror, and apparently my hairline was so frightened by the middle aged monster that stood before it that it backpedaled half way up my scalp. Oh well, at least now I have that forehead that I was so lacking as a teenager.

Anyway, I'm off to pour myself a glass of prune juice, soak my feet in some warm salty water, and fall asleep drooling in front on the television, before I drop my grandchildren off at football practice and my wife off at aerobics. Old money in spandex. Just thinking about it makes me wish I could still get an erection. Peace.

Priceless!

Interestingly enough, I had the same issues when I was your age with peoples perception of my age Sean... Must be a family thing or something...

¬¬

[cambridgealex]

you guys do look REALLY similar

[zerofive]

After I turned broadway in the second hand of the night and doubled up, the topic of age came up in conversation. Allow me to best explain the segue: "must be nice" -> "do you want to crossbook?" -> "we can't play games like that, we all have children/a mortgage apart from Sean" -> "Sean doesn't have kids? How old is he?" For those of you who don't know, I'm 23. Barely legal. However, after getting the table in question to guess how old I was, it was revealed that my perceived age range is between 29 and 36. That's a deviation of around 55%. What in the world is going on?

Even though I'm keeping one mind's eye open for signs of being middle-aged, a lot was revealed in my morning grocery shop. First of all, I woke up and immediately thought about Yorkshire tea. But that's not uncommon, right? Not many people on this forum are morning people, we need caffeine to function, it's only a natural human response to get excited about the consumption of a necessity. Then I brought in my mail, clutching my back as I bent over to pick it up. My bank are offering me several pension plans. That's fine. The idea is to start planning for being old, before you're old, no need to worry... So I'm getting in my car to drive down to Tesco, and it suddenly occurred to me that I can't get in or out of a chair without groaning. Then I popped a CD in the stereo (because I can't keep up with kids and their mp3 players - hey, at least I didn't slip in a cassette. Or a vinyl.) and before I know it, I'm cranking up the volume and singing along to Eric Clapton. And reminiscing about how inexpensive petrol was "in my day." I actually said "oooh," when I found a banana loaf in the bargain bin. All of a sudden, 36 doesn't seem like such a ludicrous guess. As soon as a got home, I took a look in the mirror, and apparently my hairline was so frightened by the middle aged monster that stood before it that it backpedaled half way up my scalp. Oh well, at least now I have that forehead that I was so lacking as a teenager.

Anyway, I'm off to pour myself a glass of prune juice, soak my feet in some warm salty water, and fall asleep drooling in front on the television, before I drop my grandchildren off at football practice and my wife off at aerobics. Old money in spandex. Just thinking about it makes me wish I could still get an erection. Peace.

Priceless!

Interestingly enough, I had the same issues when I was your age with peoples perception of my age Sean... Must be a family thing or something...

Wait. When I was betting on your age that night, I was within two months. Have you been in Neverneverland since you were 23?

[PizzicatoXev]

Yeah basically as I got older, people guesses of my age stayed the same... Hopefully that means people think we are 30 when we are 50

[zerofive]

Yeah basically as I got older, people guesses of my age stayed the same... Hopefully that means people think we are 30 when we are 50

"We" will never be 50. Don't forget as the older brother you've got a good ten years on me.

[PizzicatoXev]

Meh... I got 23 years of catching up on nipple cripples, chinese burns and general bullying that older brothers do... By the time I am done with that we will look the same age lol

[zerofive]

Had a ridiculous session this evening. Was losing £700 at one point. Folded the hand that would have got me out of it and was shown a bluff. Finished losing £50. Didn't even get the vague satisfaction of it "feeling like a win." Felt like I played a bunch of bad poker and was appropriately punished.

[zerofive]

A Queen And Another Queen: A Short Story By A Dejected Degenerate

Once upon a cash game lively, while I pondered like Phil Ivey,
Over many a stale and stagnant starting hand I would ignore,
While I watched the bad regs limping, suddenly there came an inkling,
For one second I was thinking, thinking I should make it more,
"I would like to raise," I muttered, grabbed my chips and raised to £4,
"Only this and nothing more."

Distinctly I remember, 'twas the downswing of September,
And one fish in this hand was rendered helpless but to make the call,
I double checked my pocket queens, and forwards I began to lean,
Heads up to the flop it seems, to the flop of Jack Ten Four,
As I made the bet he raised me, thinking he was on a draw,
I asked the dealer, "how much more?"

He informed me it was twenty, though I thought that this was plenty,
It would seem like such a shame if I couldn't get it all.
I asked how much he had back, he revealed the size of his stack,
There were chips both red and black, £135 was what I saw,
We got it in, he binked an ace, to complete his broadway draw,
Vomit lashed across the floor.

[cambridgealex]

A Queen And Another Queen: A Short Story By A Dejected Degenerate

Once upon a cash game lively, while I pondered like Phil Ivey,
Over many a stale and stagnant starting hand I would ignore,
While I watched the bad regs limping, suddenly there came an inkling,
For one second I was thinking, thinking I should make it more,
"I would like to raise," I muttered, grabbed my chips and raised to £4,
"Only this and nothing more."

Distinctly I remember, 'twas the downswing of September,
And one fish in this hand was rendered helpless but to make the call,
I double checked my pocket queens, and forwards I began to lean,
Heads up to the flop it seems, to the flop of Jack Ten Four,
As I made the bet he raised me, thinking he was on a draw,
I asked the dealer, "how much more?"

He informed me it was twenty, though I thought that this was plenty,
It would seem like such a shame if I couldn't get it all.
I asked how much he had back, he revealed the size of his stack,
There were chips both red and black, £135 was what I saw,
We got it in, he binked an ace, to complete his broadway draw,
Vomit lashed across the floor.