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Author Topic: Post bust-out handshakes  (Read 25144 times)
RED-DOG
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« Reply #90 on: August 21, 2012, 10:39:34 AM »

Surely the difference in opinion here comes from people who play poker primarily for fun and those who play primarily for a living?



Virtually all professional sportsmen shake hands and congratulate the winner.

In fact a professional player should realise that losing is just part of the game. He of all people shouldn't get upset by it.

In my opinion. You should be the same man win or lose. It's easy to be magnanimous when your winning.



I'd like to think I behave the same way if I win or lose.

I never jump around the room celebrating if I win (I might do if I ever bust Negreanu), and I never rant or rave if I lose.

Just don't think the poker table is a place for handshakes.

I'll see you in the bar afterwards if you want to shake my hand.


Why not?
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AlunB
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« Reply #91 on: August 21, 2012, 10:43:39 AM »

Surely the difference in opinion here comes from people who play poker primarily for fun and those who play primarily for a living?

In the former context I think people who refuse to shake hands are in the wrong, and in the latter those who insist on it are in the wrong.

As to the 'sorry' debate, I totally disagree that it's always false. I've made some horrific calls and sucked out on someone and said 'sorry about that mate' and truly meant it. I made a mistake and got lucky. I've been in that other guy's shoes and know how shitty it feels. I'm glad I'm still in the tournament, but I do have some human empathy and am able to feel simultaneously bad for someone else and pleased for myself.

But do you not see how you saying "sorry" just rubs it in and makes it worse?

If you really feel empathy you'll shut up and get on with the next hand.

That's a pretty huge assumption there that everyone is the same as you. I know that personally if someone says it sincerely to me it makes me feel a tiny bit better. I certainly prefer it to someone ignoring me and stacking their chips.

Different people are different. But point taken. And I'd like to think I have reasonable judgement so that I would know when to say something and when to shut up. It's part of my job.

That said more often than not I would err on the side of saying a few words. But no I wouldn't always say anything. If a guy's obviously steaming I will generally stay out of his way.

It just seems you are saying sorry to make yourself feel better about putting the beat on someone.

I can't think o any moment when an apology is less appreciated than when you've just outdrawn me.

Yes I'm sure that's a big part of it. But also it's because you genuinely feel bad for the person. It's always 'sorry about what happened' rather than 'sorry'.

It is, however, your responsibility to make sure you're not causing more offence by offering it. I agree with that.
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« Reply #92 on: August 21, 2012, 10:48:14 AM »

I'm super funking for a table draw with Keith sometime soon

Now can't we all shake hands and let this one go?
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« Reply #93 on: August 21, 2012, 10:49:53 AM »

Surely the difference in opinion here comes from people who play poker primarily for fun and those who play primarily for a living?



Virtually all professional sportsmen shake hands and congratulate the winner.

In fact a professional player should realise that losing is just part of the game. He of all people shouldn't get upset by it.

In my opinion. You should be the same man win or lose. It's easy to be magnanimous when your winning.



I'd like to think I behave the same way if I win or lose.

I never jump around the room celebrating if I win (I might do if I ever bust Negreanu), and I never rant or rave if I lose.

Just don't think the poker table is a place for handshakes.

I'll see you in the bar afterwards if you want to shake my hand.


Why not?


If it's someone I know and respect, there is no need to shake hands at the table. We will have shaken hands already and if we haven't I'll see them in the bar later.

If it's someone I don't know, I have no reason to shake their hands just because we have, by chance, drawn the same table at a poker tournament.
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« Reply #94 on: August 21, 2012, 10:58:05 AM »

So a hug is completely out of the question?
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« Reply #95 on: August 21, 2012, 10:59:40 AM »



If it's someone I know and respect, there is no need to shake hands at the table. We will have shaken hands already and if we haven't I'll see them in the bar later.

If it's someone I don't know, I have no reason to shake their hands just because we have, by chance, drawn the same table at a poker tournament.

These are both excellent reasons to shake hands.



There is no need to smile, or speak, or make conversation, or eye contact, but the world is a nicer place if you do.
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« Reply #96 on: August 21, 2012, 11:07:20 AM »

I shake hands with people i know or who im meeting for the first time. I dont shake hands with people im trying to beat at a table. Unless they offer, and then i will because im not ignorant.
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« Reply #97 on: August 21, 2012, 11:33:19 AM »

There is no need to smile, or speak, or make conversation, or eye contact, but the world is a nicer place if you do.

But by doing those things you're not really forcing the recipient to do anything in response - if they don't want to engage in conversation or hold your stare then they don't have to.

But if you hold out your hand for a handshake you're kinda forcing them to reciprocate as it makes them look the bad guy if they refuse it.
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« Reply #98 on: August 21, 2012, 11:35:44 AM »



If it's someone I know and respect, there is no need to shake hands at the table. We will have shaken hands already and if we haven't I'll see them in the bar later.

If it's someone I don't know, I have no reason to shake their hands just because we have, by chance, drawn the same table at a poker tournament.

These are both excellent reasons to shake hands.



There is no need to smile, or speak, or make conversation, or eye contact, but the world is a nicer place if you do.

I always feel bad if I leave without shaking hands or wishing good luck.   I just don't see it any different to suffering a severe beating at 5 a side.  You may feel terrible at the time but that is no reason to forget you manners.   There can always be exceptions, I was pretty quick to leave my main event table when my opponent insisted in shouting "ship it, ship it" at me.  

Most exits are pretty standard and the handshake just feels like a recognition of that,  I had QQ, he had KK, always going in.  It is just the way the cards ran so no hard feelings.  


« Last Edit: August 21, 2012, 11:40:34 AM by Doobs » Logged

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« Reply #99 on: August 21, 2012, 11:36:08 AM »

There is no need to smile, or speak, or make conversation, or eye contact, but the world is a nicer place if you do.

But by doing those things you're not really forcing the recipient to do anything in response - if they don't want to engage in conversation or hold your stare then they don't have to.

But if you hold out your hand for a handshake you're kinda forcing them to reciprocate as it makes them look the bad guy if they refuse it.

IMO they are the bad guy if they refuse.

FFS! You're shaking someone's hand. It isn't demeaning or embarrassing and in all likelihood, you won't catch a disease.
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« Reply #100 on: August 21, 2012, 11:44:07 AM »

Surely the difference in opinion here comes from people who play poker primarily for fun and those who play primarily for a living?



Virtually all professional sportsmen shake hands and congratulate the winner.

In fact a professional player should realise that losing is just part of the game. He of all people shouldn't get upset by it.

In my opinion. You should be the same man win or lose. It's easy to be magnanimous when your winning.



I'd like to think I behave the same way if I win or lose.

I never jump around the room celebrating if I win (I might do if I ever bust Negreanu), and I never rant or rave if I lose.

Just don't think the poker table is a place for handshakes.

I'll see you in the bar afterwards if you want to shake my hand.


Why not?


If it's someone I know and respect, there is no need to shake hands at the table. We will have shaken hands already and if we haven't I'll see them in the bar later.

If it's someone I don't know, I have no reason to shake their hands just because we have, by chance, drawn the same table at a poker tournament.

If Alistair Brownlee knows and respects the Spanish guy, there would be no need to give him a handshake after winning the gold medal.  If he did, people would view it as rubbing him down obv?
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« Reply #101 on: August 21, 2012, 11:45:27 AM »

Wow. Canvass opinions... Achieved!

Context is so important here. I am merely talking about the post bust out handshake. I mean, it's thin I know but I even shook hands with Jason Herbert and Tony Kendall this weekend.

 I just hate when a guy busts me and shoves his hand in my direction like I have to shake it. I just wanna get the fuck out.

In most other handshake situations I think it's great to do so. Pre event with guys you know and haven't seen for a while, at work with someone you are meeting for the first time to do business with and many more. NOT though when some nomark hits his two outer, bangs the table and whoops like an excited American kid then wants to shake my hand.

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RED-DOG
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« Reply #102 on: August 21, 2012, 11:47:51 AM »

Wow. Canvass opinions... Achieved!

Context is so important here. I am merely talking about the post bust out handshake. I mean, it's thin I know but I even shook hands with Jason Herbert and Tony Kendall this weekend.

 I just hate when a guy busts me and shoves his hand in my direction like I have to shake it. I just wanna get the fuck out.

In most other handshake situations I think it's great to do so. Pre event with guys you know and haven't seen for a while, at work with someone you are meeting for the first time to do business with and many more. NOT though when some nomark hits his two outer, bangs the table and whoops like an excited American kid then wants to shake my hand.




That's an entirely different question to the original one.
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The Camel
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« Reply #103 on: August 21, 2012, 11:48:13 AM »

Surely the difference in opinion here comes from people who play poker primarily for fun and those who play primarily for a living?



Virtually all professional sportsmen shake hands and congratulate the winner.

In fact a professional player should realise that losing is just part of the game. He of all people shouldn't get upset by it.

In my opinion. You should be the same man win or lose. It's easy to be magnanimous when your winning.



I'd like to think I behave the same way if I win or lose.

I never jump around the room celebrating if I win (I might do if I ever bust Negreanu), and I never rant or rave if I lose.

Just don't think the poker table is a place for handshakes.

I'll see you in the bar afterwards if you want to shake my hand.


Why not?


If it's someone I know and respect, there is no need to shake hands at the table. We will have shaken hands already and if we haven't I'll see them in the bar later.

If it's someone I don't know, I have no reason to shake their hands just because we have, by chance, drawn the same table at a poker tournament.

If Alistair Brownlee knows and respects the Spanish guy, there would be no need to give him a handshake after winning the gold medal.  If he did, people would view it as rubbing him down obv?

The day poker is 1/100th as tough as the Olympic triathlon is the day I give up poker Smiley
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« Reply #104 on: August 21, 2012, 11:51:16 AM »

Wow. Canvass opinions... Achieved!

Context is so important here. I am merely talking about the post bust out handshake. I mean, it's thin I know but I even shook hands with Jason Herbert and Tony Kendall this weekend.

 I just hate when a guy busts me and shoves his hand in my direction like I have to shake it. I just wanna get the fuck out.

In most other handshake situations I think it's great to do so. Pre event with guys you know and haven't seen for a while, at work with someone you are meeting for the first time to do business with and many more. NOT though when some nomark hits his two outer, bangs the table and whoops like an excited American kid then wants to shake my hand.




That's an entirely different question to the original one.

Accepted its a bit different. But not entirely different. In general I don't like post bust out handshakes at all. If I am the winner I will never offer but if the loser wants to shake then I ain't gonna refuse.
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