We spend some time in the room watching TV.. theres only a couple of days left of the trip.. poker is all but done.. its time to break hearts at the gaming tables..
I shower..dress... and prepare.. We have our Wynn Red card and just over $3K in our back pocket..its time to earn some Casino player points.
There are only a select number of 3-2 Blackjack pits in the Wynn..all the rest are 6-5.. it may not sound much but it can add up to an awful lot of money... as one pit dealer said.. ' I hate it when they nickle & Dime the customer '
Theres a pit of 4 tables in the Wynn that are 3-2..nice views of the main drag as the young ladies come tottering along in there skyscraper heels .
Regular viewers may remember on a previous trip I learnt the art of shouting 'MONKEY !' at the blackjack dealers when praying for a ten for them to bust.. it had been enthusiastically used by a couple of old Chinese ladies in Florida who I deemed were completely bonkers and had promptly joined in with.
Now in Vegas I had heard the same shouts from the pits and had occasionally rekindled my own participation.
As I sat at my first $50 table this came to my mind as the dealer continually crucified me with a string of 5 card 21's and from nowhere blackjacks. I decided to threaten her with the immortal lucky words..
'Don't make me shout Monkey at you ' I said sternly.... Unfortunately for me my Brain was 3 milliseconds behind my mouth as I looked up into the eyes of the Black Lady dealer...
Although the uncomfortable silence lasted only a couple of seconds.. it felt like a lifetime... nothing was said as she coldly bust me for the umpteenth time.
I moved tables shortly after that..
Next up a bright young thing called Ada.. who chuckled at my efforts at Pig Spanish that I was employing to try and coerce the cards in my favour.
It was like the Spanish equivalent to Del Boys book of French.
Being Cuban she was fairly good natured as I murdered her native tongue. I only found out she was Cuban after an hour.. actually thinking she was Mexican... now I have a deep fear of Cuban dealers second only to elderly lady Asian dealers.
My fears were well founded... obviously the previous dealer had given her the nod and the Doom switch had been activated. A blackjack horror show ensued... I resorted to Vodka red Bulls to try and take the pain away... They just made me more alert to the utter desolation being wreaked upon me.
Ada the Merciless went for a break and the relief pitcher was a heavenly child with lips that looked as if Mick Jagger & Angelina Jolie had had some kind of weird lip baby.
A middle aged guy joined the table with what one would term a rather well turned out MILF on his arm... She was impeccably groomed with perfect make up and a skin tight dress that showed off every enhanced curve her body had to offer.. Unfortunately she wore a look upon her face of total indifference..as though the world had wronged her in some way and now it had to pay.
The guy sounded Australian and he ordered up a $5K marker. The pit boss was all over him.. so obv some kind of high roller slumming it in the trenches with us piss poor $50 progression boys.
He played $2K a hand and gave the shrew $500 for her own box.. he seemed blessed as the dealer favoured him constantly and everytime she drew to him wished him luck.. all she gave me was fucking 26...
The woman was winning as well but her face never cracked.. maybe her face was incapable of movement..I'd heard one botox jab too many could do that for you.
I always like to see people win at the table even if I'm not... and i even joined in calling for the ten ball for him so that it could mate with his upturned Ace..
It got a little bit nauseating after the third blackjack at $2k a pop and the Harpies smile still not managing to break free.
I moved tables and plonked myself next to a little Arminian guy from LA. He was hilarious..he would often sing to the dealer 'how deep is your love ' in a thickly accented out of tune voice.. he loved to shout MONKEY.. and for any number over 21 as the dealer revealed our fates..out the corner of my eye I saw Ada the Hun returning from break.. I almost felt sorry for our High rolling Milf hunter... almost..but not quite
within 10 minutes Ada had him calling for markers twice more before he got the message and sloped off with the happy One in tow.. I sidled over to the victor..
'you get him good ?'.. a rueful smile and a wink and a silently mouthed twenty thousand was all the info i needed... she truly was a destroyer of souls..
Back at table Armenia we begin to make in roads into what i figured was a two and half grand deficit.. much ducking..much bad singing later it was 6AM and we had reduced it to a $400 loss..
I go to bed...said my new best pal..we bade farewell realising i had a 9am massage booked..
Author