Vagueness and the Aftermath - A sporadic diary

[RED-DOG]

I was invited to sit in the observer's gallery at the House of Commons recently. The gallery itself is a large ornate alcove that overlooks proceedings, much like the royal box overlooks the stage at the London Palladium.

It's a great experience. Well it was, until someone threw a bag of flour on to the speaker of the house.

There is now a perspex screen between the gallery and the floor below. It completely ruins the notion that you're actually there, seeing it live. You might just as well watch it on telly.

What an impact they allowed one bloke with a bag of flour to have. Hundreds of years of tradition, swept away in an instant.

[Rod Paradise]

Went to theory test center in Birmingham on the bike today. Used the sat nav in my phone via an earpiece with the screen turned off to avoid major roads. Over 3 hours only used 15% of my battery and it worked great.

Also tested my cold weather riding gear. Thick gauntlets, jeans, shirt, fleece, boiler suit, waterproof over-trousers, waterproof coat, high viz vest, steel toecap boots, ex army snood. I was toasty and dry.

Passed the theory test but it was much more intense than I expected. The hazard awareness test in particular was very, er, testing.

Those practice links rod gave me were very useful. Thanks Rod.

Well done Red!!

[Tal]

Did you see much of the Christmas market?

[RED-DOG]

I went to Leeds in the camper on Wednesday. On the way home, I had a puncture. (in the rain on a busy road obv).

My first job was to find the jack and wheel brace, because, I realised, I had absolutely no idea where they were. After searching under the bonnet, under the seats and under the spare wheel, I finally found them behind a little pop-off panel in the bulkhead.

I tried to crack the wheel nuts before I jacked it up but the tool that I assumed was the key to the locking nut didn't fit, which left me in a bit of a pickle really.

I had one last search through the van and surprised myself by finding a little black plastic box, about the size of a fag packet, sitting next to the fuse box. I opened it up and there was the locking nut key, along with 4 spare wheel nuts. Why would you need 4 spare wheel nuts? One perhaps, but surely not 4.

I cracked the wheel nuts and then went to remove the spare wheel, which sits in a cradle beneath the rear end. Because this cradle is exposed to road salt, the bolt that holds it in place rusts up pretty quickly, and by the look of this one, it had never been undone since the vehicle was built.

Getting it free meant lying on my back in the gutter with water running down the neck of my shirt and out through the bottom of my trousers, whilst shredding my knuckles and swearing.

Eventually I managed to get the spare wheel on, but when I came to tighten the nuts, they didn't fit properly. I assumed it was because I was replacing an alloy wheel with a steel one, and that the nuts were design to seat properly in the alloy, so I forced them until they were tight and drove home.

That night, while lying in bed nursing my torn knuckles, I realised what the spare nuts in the plastic box were for.

The moral of this story? Find out where all your emergency bits are before you need them, and put a dab of copper grease on your exposed nuts.

[RED-DOG]

Did you see much of the Christmas market?

No. I didn't see it at all Tal.

I went in using the sat nav set to 'avoid highways' and it took me through a maze of back streets. I didn't recognise anything. When it said, "You have arrived at your destination" I was right outside an NCP car park. I tried to drive in but the barrier wouldn't open, so I called the attended and he told me that motorcycles don't trigger the sensor and that I should just ride around it and do the same on the way out.

I walked from there to the test place a few doors down without seeing daylight, let alone a Christmas market.

The last time I did see it, it it was a German themed one, with sausages and beer. What is it this year?

[Tal]

Did you see much of the Christmas market?

No. I didn't see it at all Tal.

I went in using the sat nav set to 'avoid highways' and it took me through a maze of back streets. I didn't recognise anything. When it said, "You have arrived at your destination" I was right outside an NCP car park. I tried to drive in but the barrier wouldn't open, so I called the attended and he told me that motorcycles don't trigger the sensor and that I should just ride around it and do the same on the way out.

I walked from there to the test place a few doors down without seeing daylight, let alone a Christmas market.

The last time I did see it, it it was a German themed one, with sausages and beer. What is it this year?

It's always the German market. Just gets a little bigger each year

[RED-DOG]

Did you see much of the Christmas market?

No. I didn't see it at all Tal.

I went in using the sat nav set to 'avoid highways' and it took me through a maze of back streets. I didn't recognise anything. When it said, "You have arrived at your destination" I was right outside an NCP car park. I tried to drive in but the barrier wouldn't open, so I called the attended and he told me that motorcycles don't trigger the sensor and that I should just ride around it and do the same on the way out.

I walked from there to the test place a few doors down without seeing daylight, let alone a Christmas market.

The last time I did see it, it it was a German themed one, with sausages and beer. What is it this year?

It's always the German market. Just gets a little bigger each year

FYP.


Es ist immer der Deutsche Markt. Gerade wird ein wenig größer jedes Jahr.



(Either that, or I've just propositioned you)

Click to see full-size image.

[Tal]

Genau.

[RED-DOG]

Genau.

Another Gnu.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OPgo6s1lBbw

[atdc21]

A man climbs over 10ft high railings at the White House, sprints past two secret service agents and runs into some bushes. The secret service agents radio their dog handler mate on the other side of the bushes but he doesn't hear his radio because he's chatting on his mobile phone.

The intruder now runs up to the door of the White House, which everyone assumes is locked, and finds it open. He goes through and is confronted by a female officer who accidentally grabs her torch instead of her gun. He pushes past her and continues on. He is finally apprehended in a function room, deep inside the residence of the President of the United States.

The upshot of this farce? There is now a second barrier around the White House. What a shame to punish tourists and residents for the incompetence of the security services.

Click to see full-size image.

Hi Tom, its amazing they didnt think of putting those extra railings in before, they look like thay couild almost keep a small child out !!
Congrats on passing part of yer test.
I have lost count the amount of times i have had people call me with a puncture and encounter all the things you had, a you say moral is locate and lube 
Good luck with rest of test

[booder]

Well done on the test pass

[RED-DOG]

Well done on the test pass

Cheers chaps.

Mod 1 test is on the 5th of December.

[bobAlike]

My weather app is crap. Every time I look at it it says summary for today, even if it's pissing down.

This made me smile. but I am easily pleased.

Well done on passing your theory test.
 

[The_nun]

My weather app is crap. Every time I look at it it says summary for today, even if it's pissing down.

This made me smile. but I am easily pleased.

Well done on passing your theory test.
 

That took me a while...

Well done on theory test Tom. I recently attended a selection day which entailed both numerical and verbal reasoning tests...bloody hard..think its an age thing for me personally. More nervous and look too deep into the questions.

[david3103]

I guess you're already aware of 'TED Talks' Tom.

I caught this one today and for some reason it felt like it would appeal to you.

http://www.ted.com/talks/jim_holt_why_does_the_universe_exist