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466  Community Forums / The Lounge / Cosmic reward on: July 01, 2010, 04:23:46 PM
Just a thought, there might be some sort of cosmic justice which percolates through our lives when we play poker.
Karma etc etc.......

Sunday a week ago, I am on my way to play poker in luton, coming from Harpenden, when at the big roundabout off the M1 I see on the grassy bank a Crow picking at something, a Magpie or two waiting in line for whatever the Crow leaves.
As I draw alongside I see the object of the Crows attention is a very much alive but frozen to the spot baby Rabbit.
So round the roundabout back the way I came, parked, out of car, clap hands whilst advancing on Crow, saved the  Rabbit booted his arse he squealed and hopped off into undergrowth. Went to poker Game, won it!!

Clearly an example of "Cosmic Justice"...................

Monday 30th June more Cosmic Justice....... will post it if I get three interested replies?

Thank You
467  Poker Forums / The Rail / Nottingham, robin hood & one merry man (part 2) on: May 15, 2010, 12:33:37 PM
So I  got more than three replies, if you are sitting comfortably then I shall begin.....

Driving round Nottingham late at night looking for a B&B, lost again, in the old town I found a whole string of houses one of which was called: "The Hylands" another omen? Booked in, went to late night store & got 8 cans of STELLA, SNICKERS BAR & special offer cherry pie @ 69p, thats supper sorted! retired to B&B telly on picture only can't get any volume, £39.00 lovely clean room & good breakfast.
Going to sleep planning the overthrow of the DTD 500, day two 38,200 chips (2,000 above the average) surely I won't be card dry this session.....and I can emerge from the shadows to reveal my true identity as pokers best kept secret.......
Seven hours later.......card dry 94 runners left 38,000 chips, great bod & gavin tapped me on the shoulder to say "Hi & good luck" .......I'm big blind @ 3,000 passed to little blind 7,500 to play, I look down A Q off,  all in 38,000 matey Mister Polish (well at least they were on our side during the war) thinks & thinks & thinks then calls with A 7 off ...... so all I had to do was win this hand and I would be right into the game justifying two days of eight hours watching deuce nine & Jack five float by........only sixteen places away from the money starting at £850 going up to 1st of £80,000. HAPPY DAYS!!!
Belting down the M1 (south this time...) didn't get lost, got back to St.Albans & popped back to Nicks restaurant, he was in kitchen 10.30pm one of his regulars having a drink with him, told him the sad news then had to listen to pissed restaurant customer who knows ALL about poker because he's played blackjack in a Casino, telling me where I went wrong, the end of a perfect day?
Would I do it again?
Could I have done better?
What have I learnt from this experience? get a bloody good Cherry Pie & B&B in Nottingham....................
468  Poker Forums / The Rail / Nottingham, should have took my bow & arrows on: May 14, 2010, 09:38:00 PM
went to Luton last several nights in a row, with the outlandish prospect of maybe winning enough for the Nottingham £500 comp.

Not to be but I was playing at Luton last wednesday where I shared the money with one other (must remind Dave to say "thank you" for the Blondie points) just about to leave the club and mentioned what a shame it was that I did not win it the night before as I could have gone to Nottingham, my colleague/player informs me "you still can as there are two starting dates".
So I'm driving out of Luton and a black cat runs across the road in front of me but I miss it, must be a good luck omen?
Thursday morning I rearrange all my work commitments and find myself at my mate nicks restaurant at 9.30am having a quick breakfast prior to the journey to Nottingham, he tells me it takes 2 hours to drive to Nottingham so I figure on allowing myself 3 hours as I always get lost in the last 5 miles, so not knowing if the DTD has a booking before 12 noon rule or if their already sold out with a mile long waiting list, I decide to toss a coin...... heads I go !
Belting up the motorway I get to within 3 miles of my exit and for the first time in three days my mobile phone rings with a customer, hello customer, goodbye exit then up the M1 to the next exit turn round,  come back round the roundabout looking for my exit ahhh there it is off we go, no it bloody isn't, its the M1 north again! Ditto next exit, then ditto back again  arrived at DTD 35 minutes late, booked into comp.
Played first eight hours, fantastic dealers (mostly) anyone running a club would do well to base it on DTD (must remember to tell Carmel) some young lad from Luton club says "Hi" but none of the dealers that said they were going up to play the comp were there. Big Richard was BLOGGING all over the place.9.00pm got clear concise instructions from a very friendly staff member as to how to get to the Premier Inn which had a vacancy @ £61.00, only 5 mins away. 35mins later drove back to DTD couldn't find hotel, considered having 4 pints of STELLA and kipping in car..... No off again looking for any Hotel, found Travelodge who were full but gave me directions to other branch up the road priced @ £50.00, no car park but will get discount off NCP?  SO £8.00 to park my car a fair distance away unprotected, didn't get lost as I didn't attempt to find that one..........If I get three replies to this BLOG of a positive nature I'll add the final thrilling chapter of this Odyssey!! .. Tom
469  Poker Forums / Live poker / get it free of luton g on: January 17, 2010, 09:06:17 AM
Saturday 40 comp   full of a head cold courtesy of a dealer a week earlier i will call big ant, he was coughing all over the table a week earlier so much i asked and had him removed from dealing ,clearly not soon enough. shear genius by the casino,  how can we make our business more successful,   i know lets let a dealer sit 2 to 4 feet from them and splutter germs all over them , then see how many are so ill they dint come for a while,must remember that one should i ever get on to the apprentice program.
any way enough bitching,i would have got the cold sooner or latter any thing like that goes thru a closely huddled group of poker players just as surly as a roulette ball finds the only number on the table with nowt on it.

so Saturdays comp  managed to beat my 8000 starting stack down to 800,then some thing happened that gives a person hope , i  nagged one of the lads to have a side bet at 50 to 1 for a tenner that i would last longer with my 800 than him with his 15000,some of which i had donated to him clearly enforcing his view of me that I'm some sort of donkey, my grubby ten pound note was shoved in front of him and his hesitant fingers dragged it into his chip stack domain,a enterprising lad on my left gave him a pound on the same bet arrangement    o bliss    let the games begin.
the blinds are 75  150, thirty minutes latter Ive got 2200 chips , Mr   I'm not so sure i should have taken this bet has 15000, player on my right goes to nick my blind with a bet of 700 i go all in 2200  i cant knock you out he says   Ive got to think about  my pound bet with him ,he passes i show a k ,   
my  kk into  tt gives me 6000 chips  Mr I'm bloody sure i shouldn't have done this bet is very attentive to any hands I'm in voled in ,hes allready got the information from two sources that the true odds i should have got would be 8 to 1 ,a few people on other tables are joining in the carnival atmosphere Johnny vac is sending progress reports to g man
i make it  2000 with ak suited ,pair of tens  goes all in fot 2400, Mr tight goes all in 20000,I'm calling all day every day for my last 4000 but i ponder and ruminate for a while ,i tell Mr 50 to 1 bet  hes so lucky then call ,Mr tight has aa  king on turn but not enough to win,   

like a farmer looking for information about the seasons ,birds flying south or the early buds on the hedge rows , confirm to him that his plans are on course,

getting 50 to 1   on a bet  that should be 8 to 1  gives faith hope and clarity , so keep watching the Sky's , don't stop watching the Sky's.
470  Poker Forums / Live poker / it woundnt happen to david bailey on: January 15, 2010, 07:41:29 PM
chompy when you reed this rush out and get a lottery ticket    you are so blessed ,the plan was to take the photos of your clown poker audition and immortalise them on to tea mugs for the drinking of light refreshment at luton g
enter the villain of the piece  flipping Morrison's st albans    sorry sir our machine has  had a chemical problem no films all destroyed
worse still i jocked with one of the pretty girl dealers that  the reason that she hadn't got or even seen the photos i took of her was that i had had them blown up to go on my bedroom ceiling    she may or may not believe me when i tell her of the photos fate     but if i were a gambler i would bet on her not wishing to be snapped again
morons are us  ,ill get my cornflakes and spam somewhere else thank you.
471  Community Forums / The Lounge / poker patter on: January 14, 2010, 06:23:01 PM
i cant find the message i left yesterday wiith poker song words etc 
has that simon cowell nicked it,or has chompy flipped of to the states with it to enter     americas got tallent, 
472  Poker Forums / Live poker / p factor on: January 13, 2010, 01:46:26 PM
wed 13 th  11 am    its bloody snowing so no luton tonight great , used to be a lad could go to pub etc but there all three quid a pint plus you cant mouth of like you can at a poker table ,well not unless you want some punk getting the notion that your dissing him man,
so with all this spare time on my hands i can get the forums opinion on my smash hit poker song wot i have written innit.the idea was originaly to do a skit like the troops did with the song   do you know the way to ammorrillo, with film of locals from luton around poker tables etc,if we could get dina the tv poker dealer to feature in it all the better,might have to let her mate nina the 5 beatle appear just to appeal to the  dick lynch demo graphic.

so on to the song
poker patter

she says

i lost my lover to a poker table
to stop him im not able
with the hours that were ours ,he now carresses the cards

i lost my lover to a poker table
he says hes not osessive he only plays four nights a week
the rest of the time he needs for sleep

he says

ive got the nuts
it cant be beat
gotta play it cool as my heart skips a beat

ive got the nuts
first man checks
secound one too
i check to keep up the charade
next man bets
now to get paid

one man calls another too
i raise all in what else could i do
to keep me honest they all give me a spin
turn and river no danger there
as i turn my cards over they all declare

hes got the nuts
what a lucky fish
i wish it was me
hes got the nuts
icant belive im beat
must be that lucky seat

hes got the nuts
biggest pot of the night
whod have thought a fish that can bite

she says

ive found a new lover who treats me real good
you stick with yours by the way shes made of wood
well see if your able just you and your poker table

good players dont always win
they just lose less times than bad players

end of song to tummultiouse applause and woemen throwing under garments on stage
so all we need is a couple of people that can sing and about twenty poker players to be in the video ,and a poker club to let us film in there premises[exelent addvertiseing oppatunity for any club] o plus a camera  and music then we upload it onto utube and any other tube       so any ideas to make this happen    get in touch
looks like snow is easing up maybe luton tonite
473  Poker Forums / Live poker / cosmic justice on: January 06, 2010, 02:00:12 PM
g casino luton [again] there is a gentelman who has started to come back to the poker scene at luton who i shall call lovely george xxx. it would be no exageration to say that when he gets the call to the pearly gates rather than think thats a result and get in there fast,he will stand outside and argue with st peter.
the same man many years ago in the old luton g club hit a top full house on the flop against his all in opponient,as his opponient stompped away from the table he called after him dont go you might hit runner runner,so back to the table he comes the dealer who was about to give the chips to lovely george xxx now deals the last two cards on the flop
runner runner .much merrieyment was taking place with lauther and mickey takeing etc then lovely george xxx declares  im so unlucky the exact same thing happened to him four years earleyer,which was greeted with a chorus of   so why did you call him back.

so back to present times its a comp after christmas,lovely george has raised pre flo and got one lady caller,flop comes  three clubs lovely george min bets and the lady goes allin lovely george snap calls,the lady calls out ive got a set lovely george tells the two players either side of him he has a set of aces then quiries with the dealer is it 4100 and 75 chips or is it 4100 and 50 chips,we the players that heard his declaration of a set of aces tell him three times for flips sake turn your hand over stop flaffing about over the chips,he evently shows his hand the lady takes it all with good grace    as did lovely george until the river gave her quads,lovely george chorus   im so unlucky etc
i think it was einstein that said god dousnt play dice
he might have added  god dousnt like smart arses
474  Community Forums / The Lounge / circus is coming to town on: December 31, 2009, 07:25:05 PM
G casino Luton Wednesday £50 comp; All the blondetts were viaing for positions to be infront of eachother in the league Gham made the fatal mistake of going into his final hand with queens against my jacks against a ladies pair of tens. The inevitable happened with a jack appearing on the flop. The good news is that he will apparently be appearing at Saturdays £150 comp dressed as a clown (something to do with loosing a bet). I shall be bringing the usuall picture boards with all the poker players faces from years passed plus two disposable cameras in order to properly record the antics of this wannabe coco (copies of photos could be available).

Possibly as proof of universal justice i went on to make the final where the blinds were 10000 20000 i suggested we all take 800 each and play for the rest. unfortuinitly mr accountant who had about 300000chips to the average stack of 180000 couldnt see that it was anyones game and declined the offer. A few hands later he pipes up if we do a deal it will be £997 each so we again say lets take 800 each unfortanatley the cards are dealt i bet my jacks strait into the big blinds kings and am reduced to 50000 chips,how im not sure but mr accountant manages to go all in and is next out,closely followed by me,ba humbug

happy new year all
please remember to state size of coco  photos when requesting them
4 X 4
4 X 6
or ooster size that can be seen on trailer on m1
475  Community Forums / The Lounge / bridge order backwards or bob on: December 25, 2009, 01:24:14 PM
it was a few nights before xmas at luton g, i had taken the precaution of bringing my own supply of ballons as i rightly anticipated the luton g would have b a for the poker players that support them all year, what joy to see little dick lynch bouncing a balloon about like a little puppy thats never sees snow,or the wag that rubbed a balloon and stuck it on a post above yank dennises head ,good company good poker staff not makeing too many mistakes carmel going table to table getting every one a christmas drink on the house.scrub that last one i was geting carried away still 3 out of 4 not bad.

then it happended were going on a break and the rounding up of chips is being done my self and the player on my right who i shall call gham to protect his identtety has  i have for the round up he informs the staff with a nod of sage like wisdom that he gets the round up chip so the staff give it to him ,the card room manageress who i shall call the nana or the 5 beatle to protect her idenity confirms its right then when asked again is it bridge order that decides changes her decision and gives the chip to me.

a small occurance on the face of it you may think but wait gham is a pro player he must know bridge order is he the sort of man that when shareing a kitkat with two friends he allways gets two fingers to there one, would he take someone elses suppermarket trolley and keep the pound coin,would he go carol singing for charity then take the cost of a luxery streach limo out off the box to get him home via dtd,
no i think he just made a mistake ,probley distracted by one of the girlie poker players we shall call great bod to protect her idenity who was wearing a verry nice dress instead of jeans ,we just have to work on getting the leather jacket removed,

merry xmas all
snats fingers must be itching to reply
476  Community Forums / The Lounge / poker bumper stickers on: December 15, 2009, 05:23:53 PM
just like the well known sticker    shit happens  or   my other car is a Mercade's,
i feel its time to have poker stickers on the great british car bumpers,with that in mind im inviting ideas , my own are listed below

poker professional                    einstein slow
car for salel                             plays aces

poker players                          the m25 taught
think tipping is a                      me how to slow roll
city in china

Olympic poker                         
trainers not allowed

official god loves poker players
so please stop calling
477  Community Forums / The Lounge / deal or no deal on: April 04, 2009, 08:30:35 PM
about monday i was playing poker at luton,on my table was a man well respected for his knowledge of all things equine.having about 2000 chips to his 6500 i suggested a last longest bet at 50 to 1.his reply was  if i had a tenner on it .
i ran it past my one grey cell  yes sounds like lose 10 pounds or win 500 that will do nicely pig .the next hand was out which i mucked and told my new best British friend he must let me give him the ten pounds in case i lose,also that his only out was to go all in this hand and lose before our bet started at the beginning of the next hand
he had a better idea   he changed his mind   no bet
i pointed out we had a verball agreement to no avail
i offered to go all iln the next three hands in a row  to no avail
yes its crazy to offer 50 to 1 but just imagine if the little voice in his head had said sod it my word is my bound like Maggie thatcher this lady is not for turning.

the table would come to life players would sit a couple of inches taller apart from me as i would have a handicap pushing me down into my seat players from other tables would come offering sage wisdom ending with equine references about a donkey.his chum with the golden locks would abandon his table to shake his head and say haven't i taught you any thing.all would watch as if a baby hedgehog was trying to cross the m25 willing it on to victory or to join his flat that moment we are alive,there is no credit crunch,we are kings,we only tried Viagra for a laugh,nothing can stop us ,a great moment in poker history tis in the making.

but no he changed his mind ,what if Mr churchill changed his mind
we will fight them on the beaches ,we will fight them in the streets .no Ive changed my mind lets give it to the germans
in the words of homer Simpson when talking to tony the mafia don who  wanted his cut of Marge's cookie bussines     for shame tony for shame

thanks for matterial for this article go to
babe,Paris Hilton,Maggie thatcher,sonic the hedgehog,the whole cast of WW2,
and homer Simpson.
478  Community Forums / The Lounge / kebab or not to kebab on: March 21, 2009, 10:09:59 AM
i found myself doing something i havent done for twenty years,

it all started at aspers about six weeks ago a pal with a merc plus cash offered to pay and split any winnings,so i park my skip on wheels at toddington services and
get chauffered to aspers;on entering were given a tenpound voucher for slots plus ten for a house bet;profit on bets thirty pounds each.saw billy who works there he promises he will be at luton following friday to play ,he dousnt show up but a 50 fine for parking at toddington douse,

with 30 cash played sat sun cheapies at luton ,got into 50 100 at luton,won some
decided to head for 300 at vic,got thru to last 27 going back friday,

enter the kebab,vinne,graham and me decide to go 50 yards up edgeware road to kebab shop,secound time for one of us .
its 4.30 am  a  aselection of local characters are milling about ,one of which out of respect to his countrymen goes a full thirty feet up the pavemant  to spew his guts on pavement,then hes back talking to his mate and waveing his fag and smoke around the skewer of meat,the gordon ramsey credentials of our chosen eatery established we have three kebabs and two cans of coke ,not diet as the were out of it.

so there we are doing some thing from yesteryear standing around a black city of westminster litter bin,our table,eating kebabs,drinking coke,talking poker hands,planning train journeys home ,good job we were without a pack of cards.
 subway next time

479  Community Forums / The Lounge / first post on any computer on: February 23, 2009, 05:29:05 PM
thinking of writeing a book on poker
how to play poker on a shoe string,without a shoe or a string
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