just a free idea for marketing poker sites , in the case of blonde poker how about getting some low cost umbrellas made black and yellow segments with a witty message such as [poker players know how to use there hands] or [ive got you covered] or [i never bluff people i respect]
in fact you could invite your members for slogans with the top three going into production.........hhhhmmmmm...not the worst idea in the world
better get on it before dtd get all the good slogans and blonde poker look as if the are just copying....
haven got the peoples republic of china to produce said product for two pounds per umbrella give them out to blondets at variouse poker events.....inevetabley the will get caught on camera and film and further spread the blonde poker name

 a special a prize for the most outlandish blonde poker  umbrella waveing photo or film clip thats uploaded could be awarded....sit back and await pics of umbrellas in moscows red square.....eiffel tower ....buck house.....and of cource the red light district of denmark,cant quite see the face but spam head and stripey jersey makes it a evens prop bet,so i will want 100 to 1

so the caption competion would read  ...blonde poker the site that likes to say.............

many years ago in on a building site this conversation took place in the tea hut,i see here in the news paper if you send off 12 vouchers you can get a portable transister radio in the shape of a can of coca cola,next guy replies i shoudnt bother its bound to be  tinny,
polite laughter ripples thru the site hut as we muse over the guys sharp wit and precision delivery,then drys up as we see from the body launguage and demour of our great wit [aided with visual assistance as he is oggleing sam fox on page three of his intel challenge]   he has no idea.....

as we all know poker players are the most honest upright members of our society , however saying ....i got it in 8 secounds.....or 12 secounds   but not  mentioning how it was solved might just possibly leed to some feeble minded soul from wondering did you realy.....imagen if you will
who wants to be a million are
the million pound question ,all life lines used up
chris tarrant asks , in the luton poker club who is a dead cert for borrowing a buy in to a 100 pound comp.....A the lady loo cleaner.....B the rent boy on the wall out side.....C the security guy freezing his nuts of in the yellow tardise Dthe staff tip box
oooo chris that was eeeeasy i got it in 8....12..secounds.....give me the million ive got to get to a poker game 5 minuetes before it starts for the extra chips byeee
call me pessamistic,i think they might just like to hear the answer before get your cheque

solve this in 15 mins.......ure a genius
                30 mins.......u can still sell your eggs or seed for loads of dosh
                60 mins.......u cheated got frustrated and used google

a guy  gets 12 gold bars , but one is fake ,they all look and appear the same appart from the fake will weigh a little more or a little less  than a real gold bar

his onley way to find the fake is to weigh the bars.he has a weighing scales with no measurements just one side will go up or down if the bars are not the same weight.........he can only use the scales three times.....
solve that
bye the way the previouse puzzle was actualey a joke

allso i see some good stuff comeing up at dtd.in keeping with wanting to see that club go from strenth to strenth as they do so much to help the poker community
any one who has the managements ear at dtd please suggest they go for some sort of guinness book of records event....such as the furtherest card flicking record or tallest built card house,

a guy is playing cash poker,when he returns from loo break hes missing a 100 pound chip from his stack ,
every one at the table must have seen who took it,but everey one will lie plus only answer one question yes or no

what douse the guy ask each player to find who has nicked the 100 pound chip

solve it in 1 minute........smart chappie
solve it in 5 minute........smart chappie probley from luton
solve it in 5 minute plus theres a cracking cash game on when shall i send the car for you.

Also the rabid/starved Alsatian Dog will be released onto their race track 3 minutes after they start.
The choice open to the contestants will be a) go slow and get savaged by the dog which will probably cause your boots to ignite the petrol, or b) go really fast, accepting the fact that  your boots will catch fire but no savage dog, 200 metres away is the safety of the Olympic sized swimming pool which has been shown to the contestants so that they know that should they catch fire there lies safety..... what they won't be able to see but viewers will is the complex maze made out of (easy clean, fire resistant) PERSPEX which they will need to navigate to get to the cool waters of the swimming pool.
This first game will take the number of contestants down to 12, in depth interviews and profiles will of course fill the Tabloids, Jordan will probably want to date one of the medium rare contenders.
Game 2:.......
Singing, high note ability?

To be continued after this commercial break, phone lines are open now, calls from mobiles may cost you considerably more because thats how fat cat company execs get their quarterly bonio from the great Sun Reading/unwashed.........

clearly now that big brother is off our screens at last, its up to someone such as a poker player to come up wth a new exciting gameshow for the masses to goggle at because they are too ignorant to learn how to play poker. Possibly one of the girls from Luton will want to be the new Davina. (will look on e-bay for low cost casting couch)
The new gameshow will be split into three areas, the first area will see 32 wannabe contestants (the demographics of these people should be rejects from the "The Jeremy Kyle Show" ) , not the ones that wait until the bouncer is there to stop them kicking off! as they are clearly mummies boys......
Also politicians who are trying to rebuild their in touch with the people in the street image, when all they really want to be in touch with is loads of blank expenses claim forms.
The final demographic group will be posh skanks that want to be a "Celeb" but can't actually sing/dance/juggle or otherwise be entertaining, a large glut of these can probably be found hanging around any show biz agencies lobby?
Game one: .....Speed
32 contestants in groups of four  are in a race, the starting positions are pointing North, South, West and East. The race track is material equivalent to the striking surface of a box of matches, they will be wearing a "Shell Suit" (advertising logo's by arrangement.....), the boots of the shell suits will be material same as Red Matches, if the contestant walks the 50 Metre track VERY SLOWLY the boots MAY not ignite on the track surface but the bottles of petrol attached to their waist (wth a slow drip release valve) will ensure serious burning, also the rabid

ive just realised i can let you know that i cashed last night by means of this wonderful eletronic gadget machine thingy mabob.   i wonder if i should rush over to the dragons den with the idea ,or just change my poker name to deeeerrrr.

sharks make little sharks by swimming over the female eggs and beating one of, there fore in zero gravity less hit rate as the seed floats about leading to poorer number of sharks and poorer aspects of strenth intelagance,which equals sharks with the reactions and speed of a poker player leaving a casino at 3am.
bears mate without being dependant on gravity [ozz mag rupert the bear 1970]   there fore ill have ten pound on the bear at 50 to 1 ty

........................... because he saw someone to tell a bad beat storie to .

so my little minackers are good deeds rewarded by good fortune at the poker table , yes no mabe ,who knows   who cares. not wishing to blow my own trumpet i did save a baby rabbit ,who knows the genetic line of that cute little baby rabbit may one day evolve into the equivelent of a rabbit einstein who goese on to discover pollution free power and save the planet,and when autobioogrphiers write his life story the dusty history of how he owes it all to the hero that saved his ancesters from the great  crow attack of 2010 may emerge and young student rabbits finding a old image of said hero on a old poker site might download the image and put it on there t shirts beside the obliguarty marawanw leaf emblem, then when the rabbit equivelent of johnathan ross wears one on his tv show and it goese global...... who knows .....it could happen....did i do my gallant act of rescue with glory in mind...no...will groupies want to throw there bodies at me in a frenzie of frantic lust filled gratatude...probly not  [if im wrong about that last sumation im doing nothing all of next week]....

i guess with regards to cosmic justice i feel better doing good deeds for folk,feeling better you smile ,and when you smile people smile back...dont practice this too much in the gent urinals tho,so in conclusion go forth ,smile ,say at thepoker table ...hey douse anyone know any jokes
.or of course stay as you are and count how many spelling mistukes there are in this piece and gleefully post it............ we have free choice,ichoose to smile.


ps see you at luton friday 7.30 pm 10 seats gt
ill be the one outside with the cardboard billboard reeding ..will play for food...
still smileing

Just a thought, there might be some sort of cosmic justice which percolates through our lives when we play poker.
Karma etc etc.......

Sunday a week ago, I am on my way to play poker in luton, coming from Harpenden, when at the big roundabout off the M1 I see on the grassy bank a Crow picking at something, a Magpie or two waiting in line for whatever the Crow leaves.
As I draw alongside I see the object of the Crows attention is a very much alive but frozen to the spot baby Rabbit.
So round the roundabout back the way I came, parked, out of car, clap hands whilst advancing on Crow, saved the  Rabbit booted his arse he squealed and hopped off into undergrowth. Went to poker Game, won it!!

Clearly an example of "Cosmic Justice"...................

Monday 30th June more Cosmic Justice....... will post it if I get three interested replies?

Thank You

So I  got more than three replies, if you are sitting comfortably then I shall begin.....

Driving round Nottingham late at night looking for a B&B, lost again, in the old town I found a whole string of houses one of which was called: "The Hylands" another omen? Booked in, went to late night store & got 8 cans of STELLA, SNICKERS BAR & special offer cherry pie @ 69p, thats supper sorted! retired to B&B telly on picture only can't get any volume, £39.00 lovely clean room & good breakfast.
Going to sleep planning the overthrow of the DTD 500, day two 38,200 chips (2,000 above the average) surely I won't be card dry this session.....and I can emerge from the shadows to reveal my true identity as pokers best kept secret.......
Seven hours later.......card dry 94 runners left 38,000 chips, great bod & gavin tapped me on the shoulder to say "Hi & good luck" .......I'm big blind @ 3,000 passed to little blind 7,500 to play, I look down A Q off,  all in 38,000 matey Mister Polish (well at least they were on our side during the war) thinks & thinks & thinks then calls with A 7 off ...... so all I had to do was win this hand and I would be right into the game justifying two days of eight hours watching deuce nine & Jack five float by........only sixteen places away from the money starting at £850 going up to 1st of £80,000. HAPPY DAYS!!!
Belting down the M1 (south this time...) didn't get lost, got back to St.Albans & popped back to Nicks restaurant, he was in kitchen 10.30pm one of his regulars having a drink with him, told him the sad news then had to listen to pissed restaurant customer who knows ALL about poker because he's played blackjack in a Casino, telling me where I went wrong, the end of a perfect day?
Would I do it again?
Could I have done better?
What have I learnt from this experience?

Yes...........yes..................you get a bloody good Cherry Pie & B&B in Nottingham....................

went to Luton last several nights in a row, with the outlandish prospect of maybe winning enough for the Nottingham £500 comp.

Not to be but I was playing at Luton last wednesday where I shared the money with one other (must remind Dave to say "thank you" for the Blondie points) just about to leave the club and mentioned what a shame it was that I did not win it the night before as I could have gone to Nottingham, my colleague/player informs me "you still can as there are two starting dates".
So I'm driving out of Luton and a black cat runs across the road in front of me but I miss it, must be a good luck omen?
Thursday morning I rearrange all my work commitments and find myself at my mate nicks restaurant at 9.30am having a quick breakfast prior to the journey to Nottingham, he tells me it takes 2 hours to drive to Nottingham so I figure on allowing myself 3 hours as I always get lost in the last 5 miles, so not knowing if the DTD has a booking before 12 noon rule or if their already sold out with a mile long waiting list, I decide to toss a coin...... heads I go !
Belting up the motorway I get to within 3 miles of my exit and for the first time in three days my mobile phone rings with a customer, hello customer, goodbye exit then up the M1 to the next exit turn round,  come back round the roundabout looking for my exit ahhh there it is off we go, no it bloody isn't, its the M1 north again! Ditto next exit, then ditto back again  arrived at DTD 35 minutes late, booked into comp.
Played first eight hours, fantastic dealers (mostly) anyone running a club would do well to base it on DTD (must remember to tell Carmel) some young lad from Luton club says "Hi" but none of the dealers that said they were going up to play the comp were there. Big Richard was BLOGGING all over the place.9.00pm got clear concise instructions from a very friendly staff member as to how to get to the Premier Inn which had a vacancy @ £61.00, only 5 mins away. 35mins later drove back to DTD couldn't find hotel, considered having 4 pints of STELLA and kipping in car..... No off again looking for any Hotel, found Travelodge who were full but gave me directions to other branch up the road priced @ £50.00, no car park but will get discount off NCP?  SO £8.00 to park my car a fair distance away unprotected, didn't get lost as I didn't attempt to find that one..........If I get three replies to this BLOG of a positive nature I'll add the final thrilling chapter of this Odyssey!! .. Tom

Saturday 40 comp   full of a head cold courtesy of a dealer a week earlier i will call big ant, he was coughing all over the table a week earlier so much i asked and had him removed from dealing ,clearly not soon enough. shear genius by the casino,  how can we make our business more successful,   i know lets let a dealer sit 2 to 4 feet from them and splutter germs all over them , then see how many are so ill they dint come for a while,must remember that one should i ever get on to the apprentice program.
any way enough bitching,i would have got the cold sooner or latter any thing like that goes thru a closely huddled group of poker players just as surly as a roulette ball finds the only number on the table with nowt on it.

so Saturdays comp  managed to beat my 8000 starting stack down to 800,then some thing happened that gives a person hope , i  nagged one of the lads to have a side bet at 50 to 1 for a tenner that i would last longer with my 800 than him with his 15000,some of which i had donated to him clearly enforcing his view of me that I'm some sort of donkey, my grubby ten pound note was shoved in front of him and his hesitant fingers dragged it into his chip stack domain,a enterprising lad on my left gave him a pound on the same bet arrangement    o bliss    let the games begin.
the blinds are 75  150, thirty minutes latter Ive got 2200 chips , Mr   I'm not so sure i should have taken this bet has 15000, player on my right goes to nick my blind with a bet of 700 i go all in 2200  i cant knock you out he says   Ive got to think about  my pound bet with him ,he passes i show a k ,   
my  kk into  tt gives me 6000 chips  Mr I'm bloody sure i shouldn't have done this bet is very attentive to any hands I'm in voled in ,hes allready got the information from two sources that the true odds i should have got would be 8 to 1 ,a few people on other tables are joining in the carnival atmosphere Johnny vac is sending progress reports to g man
i make it  2000 with ak suited ,pair of tens  goes all in fot 2400, Mr tight goes all in 20000,I'm calling all day every day for my last 4000 but i ponder and ruminate for a while ,i tell Mr 50 to 1 bet  hes so lucky then call ,Mr tight has aa  king on turn but not enough to win,   

like a farmer looking for information about the seasons ,birds flying south or the early buds on the hedge rows , confirm to him that his plans are on course,

getting 50 to 1   on a bet  that should be 8 to 1  gives faith hope and clarity , so keep watching the Sky's , don't stop watching the Sky's.