Vagueness and the Aftermath - A sporadic diary

[Karabiner]

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/7470871.stm

Only would americans try to deter the animals by and I quote

"wear an oversized helmet with a trap-door with a stealth cat inside"

I also liked the suggestion to ride a bike with a basket on the front containing a cat....

[Laxie]

Where's Red?! 

[The_duke]

There once was a man called Red
Who lost the remote under the bed
He crawled under his fine cot
cracked his head on the pot
and didn't post for days on his thread

[booder]

Where's Red?! 

preparing for his upcoming trip to Australia

[Snatiramas]

Missing you Redster.............ou est tu?

[kinboshi]

Bongo,is it a salinometer, used for testing the density of salt in a steamships boiler ?

Is it a butt plug?

[RED-DOG]

Helooo playmates! Here I am again you lucky people! 

<Waits for vibrations caused by huge collective groan to subside........>















Look out for a series of posts entitled "Zell and Tom's excellent adventure".  (Alternate title, "Oh God no, it's the holiday snaps")

<Waits for even bigger, tsunami-type groan to subside.................>












BTW- My last "Guess what it is" pic was of a probang. (and before you ask Boo, it has nothing to do a butt plug, nor is it a particularly well organised gang bang).

[boldie]

Wow..timing is everything, I guess. I was almost getting worried about you, Mr Red.

Welcome back

[Laxie]

WELCOME HOME!!!  We missed you.  Definitely looking forward to the tales and the pics, so get a move on!

[Karabiner]

Welcome back, did you get time off for good behaviour ?

[Tonji]

  welcome back RED

[RED-DOG]

On the spur of the moment, Mrs Red and I decided to take a holiday. We haven't been abroad (together) for over 5 years, so we went to the travel agent with the intention of booking the the best cheap one week package we could find. We didn't much care where we went, we just wanted to be alone together and away from everything (including telephones and computers) for a few days. We ended up getting a great deal on a week in Gran Canaria. Included in the price were flights, airport taxes, transfers, insurance, and small but well equipped apartment in a resort called Puerto Rico on the island's south side.

We left a contact telephone number number for the kids, along with strict instructions that it was only to be used in an emergency of global proportions, i.e. Large meteorite collides with Hinckley. Fray-Bentos cease pie production. News of the World publish candid photo's of Minnie Driver's steamy affair with a good looking Leicester based Romany poker player".. or,- even more unlikely- "Flushy replies to novice player's post with words of sympathy, understanding and encouragement.....

I was confident we wouldn't be disturbed. We kissed everyone, cuddled the dog, and before we knew it, we were off.

[Ecosse]

Hope you remembered to take your camera Red-Dog ?

[RED-DOG]

Our outward flight was delayed by 3 hours but we really didn't mind at all. We wandered around the gaudy airport shops and bars looking at flashy goods that we had absolutely no intention of buying, we ate some overpriced food, and then we settled down on some remarkably comfy chairs. Mrs Red made a start on a 9in thick, blood snot and teardrops novel set in 1930s Newcastle, and I alternated between watching the other passengers get annoyed (I take a curious pleasure in watching people get annoyed when it serves no useful purpose) and re-reading one of my favorite Bill Bryson books "Notes from a small island"

One read of any Bryson book isn't nearly enough, I must confess that I don't re-read many books, but I make an exception for Bryson. I always seem to find something new. Take this passage for instance. Bill is talking about Yorkshire people's fondness for telling everyone about the deprivations they suffered in their youth. Here he quotes (or mis-quotes) one fellow as saying, "I had to hop 47 miles to school every day, on account of I only had the one boot"

I don't know exactly why, but this tickled me beyond reason, and while everyone else whined and moaned, I laughed so much that I fell off my seat. I continued to snigger during the delay, and when we eventually became airborne, I sniggered all through the flight, even though I knew that everyone within earshot had me down as a total crackpot, and shot Mrs Red quick looks of sympathy when they thought I wasn't looking.

It's just occurred to me, perhaps they had a point...

[RED-DOG]

We arrived at our apartment only to find that it wasn't there. Well it was, but it wasn't at street level, we had to absail down 200ft of sheer cliff-face to reach the front door.

Once inside though, the views were amazing.