Degenerate Diaries: The Chronicles Pt. 2

[mondatoo]

I may have gone to Gala tonight with the intention of bumhunting, but within a few orbits it was quite clear that the hunters were bumming me. Er, or something... At least the one success of the night was actually arriving at Gala; no mean feat given one elderly, decrepit lady's inability to fathom the complex algorithm required to successfully take the first exit on three-lane roundabout without careering into another road user. I hope I never get old; I'm rubbish enough at painfully simple problems as it is. Anyway, that's quite enough talk of saggy women, nobody came here to listen to me complain...

Arriving at Gala in the bitter cold brought back some haunting memories of last December's horrific downswing, and with it the realisation that I've made practically zero progress in my life both personally and professionally in the last 12 months. That's quite an achievement though, I'd say. Can anybody else on this forum honestly put their hand up and claim to have made absolutely no forward steps in the last year of their life? Didn't think so.

I arrived just in time to join the second 50/1 game. I took my seat in position to the laggy chinese fish, pulled up £200 ready to start picking off some bluffs and value betting the tits off my one pair hands when, to my dismay, the dealer announced it was time to draw for seats. A seat draw? On a cash game? You're serious? So like children at a lunch table in primary school, we each picked up our chipstacks and moved them to the appropriate seat in silence before sitting down and having a passive aggressive grumble at the idea. I'm assuming the reason they're doing seat draws is because there aren't enough women in poker to sit boy/girl. I suppose I'm getting upset over nothing really, there are no real distinct advantages to sitting on one player's immediate left over another, and the whole ordeal was over within TWENTY MINUTES anyway. I mentally prepared myself for a long night of folding while my boomswitch is in for repair, when to my amazement, I was dealt a vaguely coordinated starting hand. Even though I've applied a lot of discipline recently with tightening my opening range and cropping my list of "them calling hands," it felt like folding the at this table was inadmissible. So we opened to £4, picked up three callers, continued on a board, and got there heads up on a turn. I felted villain for his entire £40 buyin, villain called me a fish then finished his dirty pint of dirty cider and went outside for half a cigarette.

Turns out that was the high point of the night, nay my month thus far, and not the light at the end of this dark damp tunnel that I hoped it would be. I folded so many times in the next three hours that people were starting to mistake me for an origami figure.

The next thing I remember was some drunk looking guy with a terrible haircut and an odious northern accent sitting down with £60. He got it all in pre with his first hand, the much ballyhooed Q3o, and flopped two pair. Then he got 62o and made a straight versus two players both with two pair. Then he got KK and doubled through QQ on an 8 high board after complaining that "this is a setup" and utterly slowrolling the other guy in the hand. Then I flopped a straight, but for some reason my chips started moving in his direction. Then I flopped three nines and the same thing happened. At least he played a good game and the money won't be spent on drugs (although this might be the answer if it helps you stay in Godmode.)

I ended up clawing a little back, and finished the night losing £130. This means that the losing sessions are getting smaller and less brutal. Hopefully the engineer will be out to fix me up with a heater sometime this week and I'll eventually have a success story for everyone that reads this diary Herbie.

Pretty sure I fall into this bracket but WTF, still had some fun. Hope your heater arrives soon, glgl.

[cambridgealex]

I may have gone to Gala tonight with the intention of bumhunting, but within a few orbits it was quite clear that the hunters were bumming me. Er, or something... At least the one success of the night was actually arriving at Gala; no mean feat given one elderly, decrepit lady's inability to fathom the complex algorithm required to successfully take the first exit on three-lane roundabout without careering into another road user. I hope I never get old; I'm rubbish enough at painfully simple problems as it is. Anyway, that's quite enough talk of saggy women, nobody came here to listen to me complain...

Arriving at Gala in the bitter cold brought back some haunting memories of last December's horrific downswing, and with it the realisation that I've made practically zero progress in my life both personally and professionally in the last 12 months. That's quite an achievement though, I'd say. Can anybody else on this forum honestly put their hand up and claim to have made absolutely no forward steps in the last year of their life? Didn't think so.

I arrived just in time to join the second 50/1 game. I took my seat in position to the laggy chinese fish, pulled up £200 ready to start picking off some bluffs and value betting the tits off my one pair hands when, to my dismay, the dealer announced it was time to draw for seats. A seat draw? On a cash game? You're serious? So like children at a lunch table in primary school, we each picked up our chipstacks and moved them to the appropriate seat in silence before sitting down and having a passive aggressive grumble at the idea. I'm assuming the reason they're doing seat draws is because there aren't enough women in poker to sit boy/girl. I suppose I'm getting upset over nothing really, there are no real distinct advantages to sitting on one player's immediate left over another, and the whole ordeal was over within TWENTY MINUTES anyway. I mentally prepared myself for a long night of folding while my boomswitch is in for repair, when to my amazement, I was dealt a vaguely coordinated starting hand. Even though I've applied a lot of discipline recently with tightening my opening range and cropping my list of "them calling hands," it felt like folding the at this table was inadmissible. So we opened to £4, picked up three callers, continued on a board, and got there heads up on a turn. I felted villain for his entire £40 buyin, villain called me a fish then finished his dirty pint of dirty cider and went outside for half a cigarette.

Turns out that was the high point of the night, nay my month thus far, and not the light at the end of this dark damp tunnel that I hoped it would be. I folded so many times in the next three hours that people were starting to mistake me for an origami figure.

The next thing I remember was some drunk looking guy with a terrible haircut and an odious northern accent sitting down with £60. He got it all in pre with his first hand, the much ballyhooed Q3o, and flopped two pair. Then he got 62o and made a straight versus two players both with two pair. Then he got KK and doubled through QQ on an 8 high board after complaining that "this is a setup" and utterly slowrolling the other guy in the hand. Then I flopped a straight, but for some reason my chips started moving in his direction. Then I flopped three nines and the same thing happened. At least he played a good game and the money won't be spent on drugs (although this might be the answer if it helps you stay in Godmode.)

I ended up clawing a little back, and finished the night losing £130. This means that the losing sessions are getting smaller and less brutal. Hopefully the engineer will be out to fix me up with a heater sometime this week and I'll eventually have a success story for everyone that reads this diary Herbie.

Feel bad for enjoying this...

[paulhouk03]

meh i didnt make any progress after uni

for about 3 years

bummed about

played shit poker but it was fun

times are hard now i have a gf to support and a receeding hairline to hide

[zerofive]

Without a doubt this is one of the must read diaries on here.

Thank you Herbie.

Are you still on your own dime.

Yes.

What would be the chances of joining team K n K if it gets to a point where you consider regular employment?

Slim, I imagine, although this would obv be a dream situation. Maybe if I make them each a gingerbread latte...

[zerofive]

[ Project 25 update. ]

This was a piece I was working on for a while a few weeks back, but I came up with a couple of fresh ideas in the sauna this afternoon, modified accordingly and finally finished it. I think that still counts as a fresh piece for the day... My inspiration for the piece was what a lot of clothing brands are doing at the minute: the mod/retro/vintage thing; marketing their clothing as if it were another product. Diesel and Superdry are infamous for this.

[SuuPRlim]

Sean! Saying you've made zero progress is basically in itself making zero progress, poker in a non-linear career, and as such measurements of progression are different to "normal"

you're saying because you have no more money, and are not playing higher stakes than at this point last year you have made no progress, what about they money you've spent on your lifestyle? What about the experiences you've had that have made both you're poker game and you're mental approach to the game improve? What about the fact you've played for a full year almost and not lost money - these are pretty massive developments and bigger comparably than someone like jungleman winning $1m online.

If you cant see that you have actually made progress, then you have made no progress. It's really hard to beat poker and the fact you've done it, regardless of the winrate/hourly or whatever is an achievement over a decent sample of time, use the experiences of the last "wasted year" to do better in 2012 or you'll fall off the cart basically.

now go do some fucking winning

[zerofive]

Sean! Saying you've made zero progress is basically in itself making zero progress, poker in a non-linear career, and as such measurements of progression are different to "normal"

you're saying because you have no more money, and are not playing higher stakes than at this point last year you have made no progress, what about they money you've spent on your lifestyle? What about the experiences you've had that have made both you're poker game and you're mental approach to the game improve? What about the fact you've played for a full year almost and not lost money - these are pretty massive developments and bigger comparably than someone like jungleman winning $1m online.

If you cant see that you have actually made progress, then you have made no progress. It's really hard to beat poker and the fact you've done it, regardless of the winrate/hourly or whatever is an achievement over a decent sample of time, use the experiences of the last "wasted year" to do better in 2012 or you'll fall off the cart basically.

First of all, this is the rarest bollocking I've ever been given.

Secondly, Dave your ability to see the positive in every situation is truly inspirational. I was having a little think after my gym session today about that paragraph in my post, and how it may just have been that one moment that felt so familiar: dejected demeanor, scarf on, thinking about a new career etc. But I got to thinking about other situations in life where I really have improved as a human and as a poker player, even if they are minor changes. eg: not going over to the roulette after losing a big flip, looking after my diet a little better, etc. I think my major problem at the minute is seeing poker as an "easy game" and it gets a little frustrating when I see players that I consider to be inferior thinkers winning regularly while I cobble together the occasional profit. However, If you say it's hard to beat poker, then who am I to argue? I guess this is just variance, and December 2011 will be something I look back on in a few months' or years' time as a small anomaly on the lifetime graph.

Also, to be completely honest right now: even though I couldn't be happier that my friends are all on massive heaters and have had an incredible 2011, it does really suck getting left behind and I can't help but be a little envious of their success. In particular this applies to Alex, someone who I feel I have definitely shared a lot of highs and lows with. He was a huge inspiration when we were grinding 50/1 together back in the Gala days. But if good things happen to those who wait, well then I'd better get busy waiting!

now go do some fucking winning

Yes sir.

[George2Loose]

Dave u are the abso nuts and a fkin hero

[Skippy]

For what it's worth Sean, I think your graphics stuff on your website is really, really good. You've got to be able to do something with that talent.

[DMorgan]

Everyone has the 'fuck poker, I'm gunna do something real with my life' phases occasionally. Negative variance is really tough to deal with but it gets easier.

The adage that it gets easier when you have a bigger bankroll and so big downswings don't necessarily encroach on life expenses isn't true at all. Pure bloody mindedness - being adament that you're not gunna let it get to you and negatively affect your edge in the games is the only way to overcome it.

Haven't seen you in a while so I've only got this diary to go from but it looks like you're doing pretty well at it imo

[mouth]

Hadn't read your diary before the weekend, you were just a vague picture on FB who I thought I might or might not have met at some point.

Therefore was pretty suprised to read this post about your having acheived nothing in a year as you really didn't come across as that kind of defeatist personality. having said that, maybe I should first read the rest of your diary?

Loving Lil'Dave's post. I'm a totally positive person so his post says what I would say to you if I knew you better. All I would say is it really is up to you to look at things differently and find the positives. I've had the lowest 18 months of my life and have had points over that period where I couldn't see how I was going to get through it, and I'm really not that person, so that was pretty scary.

And yeah, I know other people's troubles are pretty irrellevant when you are feeling sorry for yourself, but.. just sayin.

If it's any consolation - you came out with a one liner after of my lines that has made me giggle all weekend.No mean feat!

[BMoney]

Sean! Saying you've made zero progress is basically in itself making zero progress, poker in a non-linear career, and as such measurements of progression are different to "normal"

you're saying because you have no more money, and are not playing higher stakes than at this point last year you have made no progress, what about they money you've spent on your lifestyle? What about the experiences you've had that have made both you're poker game and you're mental approach to the game improve? What about the fact you've played for a full year almost and not lost money - these are pretty massive developments and bigger comparably than someone like jungleman winning $1m online.

If you cant see that you have actually made progress, then you have made no progress. It's really hard to beat poker and the fact you've done it, regardless of the winrate/hourly or whatever is an achievement over a decent sample of time, use the experiences of the last "wasted year" to do better in 2012 or you'll fall off the cart basically.

now go do some fucking winning

 

[mondatoo]

LilDave pwns life, nice post.

Although I said I've made no progress, I do agree just surviving in poker is success in itself.

[mulhuzz]

Sean! Saying you've made zero progress is basically in itself making zero progress, poker in a non-linear career, and as such measurements of progression are different to "normal"

you're saying because you have no more money, and are not playing higher stakes than at this point last year you have made no progress, what about they money you've spent on your lifestyle? What about the experiences you've had that have made both you're poker game and you're mental approach to the game improve? What about the fact you've played for a full year almost and not lost money - these are pretty massive developments and bigger comparably than someone like jungleman winning $1m online.

If you cant see that you have actually made progress, then you have made no progress. It's really hard to beat poker and the fact you've done it, regardless of the winrate/hourly or whatever is an achievement over a decent sample of time, use the experiences of the last "wasted year" to do better in 2012 or you'll fall off the cart basically.

now go do some fucking winning

what a post.

[zerofive]

Another really challenging session tonight where just about every value bet got through and I called down incorrectly in a decent sized pot with top pair. I cut the night short after 3betting from the big blind with , getting two callers, and moving in on to brick versus in a pot that would show me the biggest single profit this month. I'm really trying to keep my head above water, but it's hard as hell.

Here's my graph since I started tracking my results in a real spreadsheet mid August. The highlighted section shows my last 14 sessions. If the trend is anything to go by, then a late-September esque upswing is hanging in the balance and would just about put a smile on my face.



We're still showing an hourly profit of £9.39/hr which is decent, but even with all the sickos in this thread sharing a wealth of experience, spirits are still a little low at the moment. I don't want to let Dave down though, so I guarantee some "fucking winning" before the year is up. Get therrrrrre.